“My sister told you why I came here?”
“Yes.”
“You came to talk me out of it, that is why you’re here?”
“Something like that. The first thing is, I want to tell you how sorry I am that it happened.”
“Words.”
“Pardon?”
“Words. In my land there is a saying, ‘words only delay the inevitable.’ If you do not kill me, Mr. Wilson, I will kill you. No matter how many words you speak.”
“It was an accident.”
“I am a believer in Hoa Hao, Mr. Wilson. We do not believe in accidents. All behavior is willful.”
“I willfully murdered a six-year-old girl?”
“In war, there are many atrocities.”
Anger came and went in his eyes. When it was gone, he looked old and sad. Rage seemed to give him a kind of fevered youth.
“You were there, Dang. You saw it happen. I wasn’t firing at her. I was firing at a VC. She got in the way.”
He stared at me a long time. “Words, Mr. Wilson, words.”
I wanted to tell him about my years following the killing, how it shaped and in many respects destroyed my life. I even thought of telling him about my cancer and how the disease had taught me so many important lessons. But I would only sound as if I were begging his pity.
I stood up. “Why don’t you leave tomorrow? Your sister is worried about you.”
“I’ll leave after I’ve killed you.”
“What I did, Dang, I know you can’t forgive me for. Maybe I’d be the same way you are. But if you kill me, the police will arrest you. And that will kill Mai. You’ll have killed her just as I killed your other sister.”
For a time, he kept his head down and said nothing. When he raised his eyes to me, I saw that they were wet with tears. “Before I sleep each night, I play in my head her voice, like a tape. Even at six she had a beautiful voice. I play it over and over again.”
He surprised me by putting his head down on the table and weeping.
In bed that night, I thought of how long we’d carried our respective burdens, Dang his hatred of me, and my remorse over Hong’s death. I fell asleep thinking of what Dang had said about Hong’s voice. I wished I could have heard her sing.
When I got down to the barn in the morning, Lisa was already bottle-feeding the three new calves. I set about the milking operations.
Half an hour later, the calves, the rabbits and the barn cats taken care of, Lisa joined me.
“Mom was worried about you.”
“Figured she would be,” I said. “You didn’t tell her anything, did you?”
“No, but Nick did.”
“Nick?”
“Uh-huh. He told her about the Vietnamese woman.”
“Oh.”
“So Mom asked me if I knew anything about it.”
“What’d you say?”
“Said I didn’t know anything at all. But I felt kinda weird, Grandad, lying to Mom, I mean.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
At lunch, baloney sandwiches and creamed corn and an apple, Emmy said, “Dad, could I talk to you?”
“Sure.”
“Lisa, why don’t you go on ahead with your chores. Grandad’ll be down real soon.”
Lisa looked at me. I nodded.
When the screen door slapped shut, Emmy said, “Nick thinks you’re in some kind of trouble, Dad.”
“You know how much I like Nick, honey. I also happen to respect him.” I held her hand. “But I’m not in any kind of trouble.”
“Who’s the Vietnamese woman?”
“Nguyn Mai.”
“That doesn’t tell me much.”
“I don’t mean for it to tell you much.”
“You getting mad?”
“No. Sad, if anything. Sad that I can’t have a life of my own without answering a lot of questions.”
“Dad, if Nick wasn’t concerned, I wouldn’t be concerned. But Nick has good instincts about things like this.”
“He does indeed.”
“So why not tell us the truth?”
I got up from the table, picked up my dishes and carried them over to the sink. “Let me think about it a little while, all right?”
She watched me for a long time, looking both wan and a little bit peeved, and finally said, “Think about it a little while, then.”
She got up and left the room.
There were two carts that needed filling with silage. Lisa and I opened the trapdoor in the silo and started digging the silage out. Then we took the first of the carts over and started feeding the cows.
When that was done, I told Lisa to take the rest of the afternoon off. She kept talking about all the school supplies she needed. She’d never find time for them if she was always working.
During the last rain, we’d noticed a few drops plopping down from the area of the living room. The roof was a good ten years old. I put the ladder against the back of the house and went up and looked around. There were some real bad spots.
I called the lumber store and got some prices on roofing materials. I told them what I wanted. They’d have them ready tomorrow afternoon.
There was still some work so after a cup of coffee, I headed for the barn. I hadn’t quite reached it before the phone rang.
“For you, Dad,” Emmy called.
I picked up.
“Robert?”
“I thought maybe you’d be gone by now, Mai. I went out and visited your brother last night. I don’t know if he told you about it. I also don’t know if it did any good. But at least I got to tell him I was sorry.”
“I need to meet you at the hill above his trailer. Right away, please. Something terrible has happened.”
“What’re you talking about, Mai?”
“Please. The hill. As soon as possible.”
“Can you drive?”
“Yes. I drove a little this morning.”
“What’s happened, Mai?”
“Your granddaughter. Dang has taken her.”
As I was grabbing my jacket, and remembering that I’d left the .38 in the glove compartment, Emmy came into the room.
“I need to go out for a little while.”
She touched my arm. “Dad, I don’t know what just happened but why don’t you get Nick to help you?”
I’d thought about that, too. “Maybe I will.”
I drove straight and hard to the hill. All the way there I thought of Dang. One granddaughter for one little sister. Even up. I should have thought of that and protected Lisa.
Mai stood by the dusty rental car.
“How do you know she’s down there?”
“An hour ago, I snuck down there and peeked in the window.
She is sitting in a chair in the kitchen.”
“But she’s still alive? You’re sure?”
“Yes.”
“Did you see if she’s bleeding or anything?”
“I don’t think he has hurt her. Not yet, anyway.”
“I’m going in to get her.”
She nodded to the .38 stuffed into my belt. “I am afraid for all of us, now. For Dang and for your granddaughter and for you. And for me.”
She fell against me, crying. I was tender as I could be but all I could think of was Lisa.
“I tried to talk him into giving her up. He says that he is only doing the honorable thing.” More tears. “Talking won’t help, Robert.”
I went east, in a wide arc, coming down behind the trailer in a stand of windbreak firs. The back side of the Airstream had only one window. I didn’t see anybody watching me.
I belly-crawled from the trees to the front of the trailer. By now, I could hear him shouting in Vietnamese at Lisa. All his anger and all his pain was in those words. The exact meaning made no difference. It was the sounds he made that mattered.
I went to the door and knocked. His words stopped immediately. For a time there was just the soughing silence of the prairie.
“Dang, you let Lisa go and I’ll come in and take her place.”