Christine wanted to break in, but Marcus was trying to finish his point.
“We can let Gary handle it, that’s what lawyers are for. We have the money, will pay him what it takes. Let’s turn him loose and let him find out about our donor. It’s his job, not ours.”
“Marcus,” Christine said more firmly, unable to take the irony, but Marcus barely seemed to hear her.
“What I also realized on the plane is that we’re dealing with too many hypotheticals. We’re getting worked up over a hypothetical. Jeffcoat could turn out not to be our donor, but we’re acting like he is. There’s no reason to worry until we have to-”
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Christine braced herself, pulling out the tall cherrywood stool at the kitchen island, feeling that she had to sit down. She flashed on those scenes in the movies, when the person with the bad news says to the person who doesn’t know, “you need to sit down,” but the truth was, she was the one who needed to sit down. Because in that moment she realized that the only thing worse than hearing the worst news of your life is being the person who has to deliver the worst news of your life.
“What? Is something the matter?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, what?” Marcus stood tall, facing her, looking every inch the Suburban Dad he so wanted to be in his blue oxford shirt and khakis, but something about the way he was standing, his long arms hanging loose at his sides, his chest open and exposed, made him so vulnerable. She almost couldn’t tell him, and she flashed on Zachary telling her that the human body was a thing of beauty because so many structures protected the heart, but she realized that the human heart simply couldn’t be protected, not by muscle, not by bone, not by anything.
Christine took a deep breath. “I went to Graterford this weekend and met with Zachary Jeffcoat and he told me that he’s Donor 3319. We don’t need a lawsuit to figure that out. We already have the answer.”
Marcus blinked, once, then again, though he remained standing, absolutely motionless, and for a moment, Christine was afraid that he would fall backwards like a cardboard cutout, like the Flat Stanley that the kids in school took everywhere, taking pictures with something that looked like a man but was only a drawing of a man.
“Marcus, I know this is a shock, and I know it’s awful news, but there it is. I wanted to know and I found out.”
“Are you serious?” Marcus asked, his tone hushed. His shock was so complete that it becalmed him, and Murphy, who had been waiting for Marcus to come over and pet him, lowered his head to his paws, knowing that something was wrong.
“Yes, I’m serious,” Christine answered simply. “I can tell you the whole story-”
“Hold on.” Marcus held up a large hand, showing her his palm. “Are you telling me you weren’t in Jersey this weekend?”
“I wasn’t in Jersey.”
Marcus winced slightly, and for some reason, Christine knew she had wounded him, as surely as if she’d stabbed him in the heart, in fact. She could see the impact of the revelation that she had lied to him land even more vividly than she could see the impact of the first revelation, that Zachary was their donor.
“Was Lauren with you?”
“Yes, we went together.”
“How did you get there? Where did you stay?”
“I drove and we stayed at a hotel near the prison.” Christine understood that Marcus had to come up to speed, asking her questions about the details before he began to deal with the headline.
“This was where? Somewhere outside of Philadelphia?”
“Collegeville. It’s in the country.”
“So when we spoke on the phone, you were really in a hotel near the prison?”
“Yes.”
Marcus winced again, wounded a second time, but she had to get him past the preliminaries. “Did Lauren tell Josh where she was?”
“Yes,” Christine had to admit. “Marcus, I’m sorry that I lied to you, I know that was wrong, and I’m sorry about that. But let’s talk about what we learned, which is that he’s our donor. He really is our donor. He told me, completely unprompted. He didn’t know who I was-”
“What did you tell him? Who did you say you were?” Marcus frowned, pained, though his voice remained even and his questions made sense. Christine realized that was probably why he was so good at his job. He could fly down to a job site, elicit the problem by asking questions, then figure out a solution. The only problem was, this time, there was no solution.
“I told him my real name, but I didn’t tell him why I was there. He doesn’t know that he was our donor.”
“You actually met him?” Marcus’s eyes rounded like blue marbles. “You went inside a prison and you met a serial killer?”
“He’s not a serial killer, he hasn’t been linked to the other-”
“Are you kidding me? Am I really hearing this?” Marcus stepped back, flabbergasted. “Did you meet with this serial killer alone?”
“Lauren was there-”
“Lauren was there, and you and Lauren met with a serial killer and you determined that he’s our donor. You found this out just by asking?”
“Yes, and-”
“You tricked him? You didn’t tell him who you really were, or why you wanted to know? You assumed a false identity?” Marcus’s mouth dropped open. He looked at her with utter disbelief.
“Now we have the answer to the question, the truth-”
“How do you know he told you the truth? He could be lying. The man’s a criminal, a serial killer.” Marcus started shaking his head, in a state of shock.
“He wasn’t lying. He would have no reason to lie. He didn’t even want to tell me about it. I had to get it out of him.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this. This isn’t like you at all! You’ve never done anything like this.”
“I’ve never been in this situation before, and maybe we don’t need a big lawsuit now to figure out that he’s the donor, because he is. Maybe Gary can just call them and tell them that we already know it, and they’ll make a settlement with us, just in case the baby needs evaluation and help, like he said.”
“Are you trying to tell me that’s why you did it? That’s why you went down there? So we don’t have to file a lawsuit?”
“No, I went down there because I had to know, I couldn’t not know any longer, and I knew a way to find out. That’s why I did it.” Christine fumbled for words, trying to organize her thoughts. “I expected you to be upset, and I know this seems really strange, and I’m sorry I lied to you, but I met with him, twice-”
“Twice?” Marcus kept shaking his head.
“He’s nice, he’s smart. He’s easy to talk to, he’s charming-”
“Charming?” Marcus’s face reddened. “Honey, Ted Bundy was charming. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
“He’s not like Ted Bundy, Zachary’s-”
“Zachary, now? You call him Zachary? Are you on a first-name basis? Does he call you Christine? Does he call you by your first name? Zachary and Christine?”
“Marcus. We talked, we had a conversation-”
“I don’t understand what you’re thinking. I don’t know how you expect me to hear this.” Marcus started edging away. He wasn’t angry; he was anguished.
“I know it’s a lot to process, but now we know who our donor is. Now we can put a face and a name to him, and I’m not even sure he’s guilty of murder, I think he might even be innocent and-”
“I don’t want to know who our donor is!” Marcus kept backing away, stricken.
“What do you mean? Of course you do.” Christine got off the chair, in confusion.