She blinked, surprised at herself. The words seemed to appear in her mouth and roll from her tongue as though she had spoken them countless times before.
“May you find good hunting, swift running, and shelter when you sleep.”
Murmurs of approval rippled around the other cats.
Moth Flight backed away.
Wind Runner was watching her, eyes bright with worry.
“I’m okay,” Moth Flight breathed. “I just need to be alone.”
She turned and fled back to the glade, skidding to a halt as she saw the scattered remains of the splintered branch. She turned, her gaze flashing wildly around the forest, unsure where to go.
“Moth Flight.” A gentle mew sounded from the trees behind her.
Pebble Heart padded over the rise. “I came to pay my respects.”
Moth Flight glanced past him, toward the grave, hidden beyond the crest of the hollow. “Are they burying him?” She pictured the earth tumbling over Micah’s poor, beautiful, broken body.
“He is safe now.” Pebble Heart stopped beside her. “You should go home and mourn.”
“No!” Alarm jolted through her. She didn’t want to be like Slate, moving around the hollow like a shadow, pitied by her Clanmates. She didn’t want to see her den. Micah had been there. They’d been so excited when they’d remembered the tree bark. Her breath quickened. Rocky would still be there. How could she take care of him? How could she take care of any cat?
Her thoughts tumbled, confused. She’d never be able to remember any herb. Every cat would be depending on her. She struggled for breath.
“Moth Flight.” Pebble Heart’s soft mew sounded through the roar of blood in her ears. “Eat this.” An aromatic scent touched her nose. The ShadowClan medicine cat had laid a sprig of tiny leaves at her paws. “It’s thyme. It will calm you.”
Blindly, Moth Flight leaned down and grabbed the sprig, chewing it as the world seemed to spin around her. Its pungent flavors bathed her tongue, pulling her thoughts away from the spiraling terror that filled her mind. Slowly she felt her heart begin to slow. She blinked, the blurred bluebells brightening around her.
“Come back to my camp,” Pebble Heart murmured. “Reed Tail can look after WindClan for a while. You can have peace to grieve until you feel strong enough to return to your Clanmates.”
Moth Flight blinked at him, soothed by his amber gaze.
“Will Tall Shadow let me stay?”
“Yes. If I ask her,” Pebble Heart told her.
Wind Runner’s mew sounded at the top of the glade. “Will
Tall Shadow let you stay where?” She hurried down the slope, ears twitching.
“I want Moth Flight to spend some time with ShadowClan,” Pebble Heart told her calmly.
“Why?” Wind Runner bristled. “She should be with her kin.”
Pebble Heart returned her gaze. “She needs to be away from responsibility until she’s strong enough to bear her grief.”
Moth Flight looked at Wind Runner, expecting her mother to argue, but saw worry darken her yellow eyes.
“Is this what you want?” she asked Moth Flight.
Moth Flight nodded, strangely calm. She guessed the thyme must be soothing her. She leaned against Pebble Heart, gratitude washing her pelt.
Pebble Heart dipped his head to Wind Runner. “I’ll take her to my camp.”
Wind Runner shifted her paws. “I’ll send Dust Muzzle to check on her soon.”
“Not too soon,” Pebble Heart told her. “She’ll be in good paws. I’ll take care of her until she’s strong enough to take care of herself.”
Gorse Fur called from the top of the slope. “We should get back to the moor, Wind Runner. The Clan will be unsettled.
They’ll need you.”
Wind Runner touched her nose to Moth Flight’s cheek.
“Take care.”
Moth Flight nodded dumbly as her mother bounded up the slope, and then Pebble Heart began to guide her across the glade. He nudged her gently up the far slope, steering her toward a rabbit trail that cut between the brambles.
With every paw step, grief jabbed at Moth Flight’s heart.
She was walking away. She would never again see Micah in the forest or on the moor. She was leaving him behind, alone beneath the earth.
Pebble Heart led the way into the ShadowClan camp, ducking through a gap in the vast bramble hedge into a wide, pine needle–strewn clearing.
Juniper Branch looked up from a mouse she was gnawing and blinked sympathetically at Moth Flight. The tortoiseshell queen was looking plump, her belly swollen. Her mate, Raven
Pelt, glanced toward Moth Flight, catching her eye before awkwardly snatching his gaze away.
Mouse Ear, sitting on a sun-dappled patch of grass at the edge of the clearing, leaned closer to Mud Paws and murmured into his friend’s ear. “I heard she was in love with the farm cat.”
Moth Flight fixed her gaze ahead. What do you know? She felt unreasonably angry. Micah was dead and these cats would never know him. It wasn’t fair.
“Moth Flight.” Tall Shadow padded from the head of the clearing, her eyes soft with sympathy.
Moth Flight stopped and stared at her paws. “Pebble Heart said I could stay,” she mumbled.
Pebble Heart padded past her and leaned close to the ShadowClan leader. “I thought she’d grieve more easily here, away from anything that will stir memories.”
Everything stirs memories! The sky! The wind! The sun!
Moth Flight braced herself against a fresh wave of grief.
Tall Shadow dipped her head. “Of course you can stay.”
A black tom padded from a small den woven into the camp wall. “Moth Flight?” He padded closer, his ears twitching nervously. “Are you okay? Sparrow Fur brought us the news.
I’m so sorry. I wish I’d known Micah better. Pebble Heart says he had the heart of a Tribe cat and the courage of a Clan cat.”
“Thanks, Sun Shadow.” Moth Flight met his amber gaze. It was a relief to hear someone say Micah’s name. So long as cats spoke of him, he would never be forgotten. “Micah shouldn’t have died.” She flashed a look at Tall Shadow, wondering whether she was like Clear Sky and Wind Runner. Did she value borders more dearly than the lives of cats?
Tall Shadow’s expression was unreadable as she gazed at Sun Shadow. “May Moth Flight have your den?”
“Of course.” Sun Shadow glanced over his shoulder toward the brambles. “Should I fetch some fresh moss for the nest?”
“Don’t bother.” Moth Flight brushed past him. She didn’t care where she lay, just so long as it was away from the prying gaze of the other cats. She ducked into the shadows, relieved to find the den cozy. Its bramble walls encircled a nest woven from pine sprigs. She climbed into it, feeling silky needles beneath her paws. It was surprisingly soft to curl into and she settled deep inside, letting the pine and bramble muffle the murmuring of the cats outside.
“Will she be here long?”
“Why did she come here?”
Then everything fell quiet. Moth Flight imagined that Tall Shadow had silenced her Clanmates with a stare. “She came here for kindness.”
A moment later, Pebble Heart nosed his way into Moth
Flight’s den. He was carrying a leaf bundle in his jaws. As he dropped it beside Moth Flight’s nest, it unfurled to reveal a few tiny poppy seeds. “Dappled Pelt brought these for you. She says they’ll help you rest.”
“She’s here?” Moth Flight peered toward the den entrance.
“She didn’t stay,” Pebble Heart told her. “She says you need peace more than sympathy right now.”
“How did she find me?”
“She was taking these to the moor and met Wind Runner and Gorse Fur.”
Moth Flight felt her heart prick with gratitude for her medicine cat friends. Except Micah isn’t one of us anymore. She closed her eyes, frightened even to think. Each thought seemed to remind her of Micah. She wanted to block out every memory and pretend that he was still alive in the forest, tending to his Clanmates and thinking of her. She leaned over the side of her nest and lapped up the poppy seeds.