“Who’s saying that? I’m saying that’s life, brother, life. Look, have another drink, will you?”
“All right,” Matthew said. He signaled the bartender and pointed to his empty glass.
“Give and take, Jekyll and Hyde, that’s life,” David said. “A man is one thing. Period. But a woman is a lot of things, and that’s why she’s so mystifying.”
“A woman is a woman,” Matthew said emphatically. “That’s one thing. A woman. And it ain’t... it isn’t mystifying at all. A woman. Period.”
“Right. But she’s a lot of things.”
“No.”
“Yes. Look, she’s a daughter, right?”
“Well, she’s got to be a daughter,” Matthew said. “She can’t be a son.”
“That’s right. That’s right, Matthew! And then when she grows up, what does she do?”
“What does she do?”
“She turns around and becomes a mother.”
“Well, that’s only natural.”
“Sure, but it says what I’m trying to say.”
“I don’t know what you’re trying to say, David.”
“I’m trying to say there’s the whole secret of life.”
“Listen, I don’t see the secret,” Matthew said.
“Are you a father?”
“Sure, I am.”
“Were you a son?”
“Sure, I was.”
“Okay.”
David nodded and fell silent, as if he had proved his point. He picked up his glass and sipped at it. The silence lengthened.
“Okay what?” Matthew said.
“That’s life,” David said. “Life is a pattern.”
“Life is a fountain,” Matthew said, and he burst out laughing.
“Come on, be serious,” David said. “You think God is a man?”
“Absolutely,” Matthew said.
“Sure, He would have to be,” David said, and nodded solemnly.
“But love is a woman,” Matthew said, equally as solemn. “And life is love. They’re the love givers, don’t you ever forget that, David. It’s the women who give the love. It’s the women who invented it.”
“One woman,” David said.
“Eve.”
“No. Gillian.”
“More than one woman,” Matthew said. “All women.”
“Look, if you took all the women in the world—”
“Listen,” Matthew said, laughing, “if you laid all the Radcliffe girls end to end, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
“Come on, be serious,” David said.
“I’m serious. All women,” Matthew said. “What does a man need, David, can you tell me that?” He did not wait for David’s answer. “Love,” he said. “He needs a mother, and a wife, and a daughter. For love. Because they give love. They’re the love bringers.”
“Mothers,” David said, and he pulled a sour face.
“Listen, you need a mother.”
“Only until you grow up,” David said.
“And that’s the secret,” Matthew said.
“What’s the secret?”
“Love.”
“The secret is that women are a secret, that’s the secret.”
“The secret is love,” Matthew insisted.
“Listen, would you like to pick up some girls?” David asked.
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m an honorable man.”
“So?”
“Married.”
“So?”
“Couldn’t do that to Amanda.”
“Matthew,” David said sincerely, clapping him on the shoulder, “Matthew, drop your scruples.”
“Nope. Can’t do it.”
“Matthew, go home then.”
“Got to take you back.”
“I’m going to pick up a lady.”
“Your mother’s worried.”
“Tell her to go to... go on, Matthew, go home and tell her not to worry. Tell her I can take care of myself and her silly automobile, go ahead, Matthew.”
“Nope.”
“Aw, come on, Matthew, be a good guy.”
“You want to crash into a pole, huh?”
“Nossir.”
“Okay. Come on. I’ll follow you home in my car and see that nothing happens to you.”
“That’s awfully decent of you, Matthew,” David said.
“Don’t mention it.”
“You’re an awfully decent guy, Matthew.”
They paid the bartender and staggered away from the bar. Outside, David said, “What’s the sense, anyway? Picking up a girl. What’s the sense? You know how many girls I’ve picked up in the last few years?”
“How many?”
“A million.”
“That’s a lot of girls,” Matthew said.
“That sure is a lot of girls, Matthew. And you know something, Matthew? If you put all those girls together, you get one woman, just one single woman.”
“That’s a very shrewd observation, David.”
“Thank you. Will you follow me, or shall I follow you?”
“We’ll follow each other,” Matthew said, and he giggled.
“No, no,” David said. “After you.” He executed a low bow.
“No, no,” Matthew said.
“I’ll choose you,” David said. “What do you take? Odds or evens?”
“Odds,” Matthew said. He clenched his fist.
“Evens,” David said.
They faced each other in the darkness of the parking lot, their fists clenched, watching each other shrewdly, staggering a bit.
“Once, twice, three, shoot!” Matthew said. He threw out his hand just as David threw out his.
“I can’t see the fingers,” David said.
“It’s mine,” Matthew said. “Ready? Once, twice, three, shoot!” He looked at the extended fingers. “Yours. Ready? Once, twice, three, shoot!” He looked again at the fingers. “What did I have? Odds or evens?”
“Who knows? Listen, Matthew, I’ll follow you, okay?”
“Good. That settles it.”
“Good night, Matthew.”
“Good night, David. Give my love, okay?”
“Okay.”
“That’s the secret,” Matthew said, and he walked into the night.
David watched him a moment, and then waved into the darkness and walked to the Alfa. Love, he thought. That’s no secret at all.
“Are you drunk?” Amanda asked.
“Who? Who, me?” Matthew said.
“Oh, Matthew, how did you manage to...?”
“Nobody’s drank,” he said, “so shhh, shhh, shhhh, you’ll wake the kiddies.”
“Did you find David?”
“I found David.”
“Did you take him home?”
“No. I left him to wallow in sin and corruption.”
“Matthew, Julia asked you to take him home.”
“I took him home. I took him home.”
“What are you doing there?”
“I’m trying to take off my pants, that’s what I’m doing. What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Let me help you,” Amanda said. She got out of bed and walked to where he was hopping on one foot.
“Hey, leggo,” he said.
“Matthew, stop being so silly. I hate it when you’re drunk.”
“So who’s drunk?”
“You are.”
“I can certainly lower my own zipper.”
“Move your hand.”
“Amanda, do you love me?” he asked seriously.
“Yes. Sit down, Matthew, I’ll take off your shoes.”
“I want to die with my boots on,” he said, and threw himself across the bed.
“Was David as drunk as you are?”
“He was as sober as I am,” Matthew said with dignity.
“Who drove?”