It took him several seconds to answer. Yes.
“I don’t think I am wrong,” Kristoff said slowly, his eyes filled with speculation as he looked at me. I was too busy battling a sense of nausea that followed Alec’s admittance. That he could talk to Eleanor confirmed she was truly his Beloved, and made my path clear. I had to leave. He no longer needed me, and if I stayed, I’d just end up confusing myself with the desire I had for him.
“Explain it to Cora,” Pia growled at Kristoff, pinching the back of his hand.
He shot Alec a look. “He can explain.”
“Cora, before you run off to bathe yourself in perfume, please sit down,” Pia said, shooting both men annoyed looks.
“I’d like to know just why he thinks that woman is my Alec’s Beloved,” Eleanor said with an injured sniff. “When it’s clear I was, and am.”
“Yes, but you don’t smell. At least I don’t think she does. Does she, Kristoff?” Pia asked.
Kristoff lifted his chin and sniffed. “Not really, no.”
“Your nose is wrong,” Eleanor told him.
“I don’t understand this smell thing,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself. “But I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone.”
“You haven’t offended anyone, Cora.” Alec moved over toward me, but stopped when Eleanor grabbed his arm and held him back. His face twisted in anguish for a second, his eyes burning into mine.
Stop it, I told him. Stop looking guilty. You found your Beloved. You should be happy.
My Beloved is dead, he answered, shaking off Eleanor’s hand to move over next to the couch.
That was true enough. And she’s been brought back.
As a lich.
So?
His gaze wavered. Something is not right here, Cora, the least of which is the pain I feel in you.
I gently pushed him out of my mind, uneasy that he could read my emotions so effortlessly.
Pia sighed. “Since Alec never bothered to explain this to you—honestly, men!—I will. There’s this weird thing about Beloveds. I know I freaked out when I heard about it, but Kristoff assures me it’s no big deal, and it can vary, so don’t think you’re walking around smelling like a big ole manure factory to all Dark Ones.”
“Mother Mary,” I gasped, staggering to the couch, drawn against my will toward Alec. If I was going to stink, he could just be inflicted with it. “I smell like manure ? ”
You do not stink. Just the scent of you makes me hard.
Damn the man! How did he get into my head so easily?
“No, of course you don’t,” Pia said soothingly. “Beloveds, to Dark Ones who are not theirs, have this . . . odor. Supposedly it alerts them that they are taken or some such thing, and that their blood is basically poison to anyone but the designated Dark One. So I suppose I can see that there should some marker to indicate that someone shouldn’t be munched on, although really, I think they could have come up with a better method than smelling.”
Does Pia smell bad to you? I couldn’t help but ask.
Not bad so much as . . . mildly unpleasant.
I looked at Kristoff in horror. He laughed, and wrapped an arm around Pia. “Pia is making too much of nothing. Beloveds in the process of Joining smell a little different, that’s all. Once Joined, it’s a bit stronger, but even then I’ve never found it repellent. We are used to it, I assure you. What I’m curious about is how you came about to be.”
“My mother and father fell in love,” I said somewhat indignantly.
“Boy, you’re really Mr. Put Your Foot in Your Mouth today, aren’t you? ” Pia asked him, her hand doing a little possessive leg touch. “I think he means how you can be Alec’s Beloved when Eleanor was killed several hundred years ago.”
“And brought back, just to save him,” Eleanor added, glaring at me. “I do not like this woman, Alec. I don’t know who she is, or why you all seem to feel she’s as good as me, but she’s not. I am your Beloved. I am the one you begged to Join with you all those centuries ago. And it is I who will redeem you now.”
My gut tightened as my inner voice nagged me to spill the truth, urging me to explain my connection to Alec, but that way would only cause more pain, for both of us. He would just feel even more guilty than he did already, and I didn’t want to spend my life with a vampire.
Liar, my inner self snarled.
I rubbed my head, my emotions as confused as my brain.
“You were, at one time, my Beloved, as Kristoff knows,” Alec admitted slowly, the pain from inside him spilling out onto me. “But be that as it may, there is a bond between Cora and me that we cannot deny. I do not believe such a bond exists between us anymore, Eleanor.”
She’s your Beloved, Alec. Stop fighting it.
Do you dislike me so much that you are so happy to be rid of me? he asked.
Tell him! my little devil demanded. He’s hurting because he thinks you don’t want him.
I tried to argue that I didn’t want him, but even I didn’t believe that anymore.
It just figured that the one man in the world I wanted was the one I should never have. Way to go, life.
“How does Kristoff know?” I asked the room in general, trying to drown out my conscience. “How did you know about Eleanor?”
“It was his wife who killed my Beloved,” Alec answered, his eyes a pale jade. “His first wife.”
My eyes widened as I stared at Kristoff. “Your wife was the one with the oxcart? The one who cut off my head? ”
The second the words left my mouth, I cursed myself. My devil cheered.
“Your head?”
Slowly, I turned to look at Alec.
Your head? he asked again.
Um . . .
“What do you mean, your head?” Pia asked, leaning into Kristoff when he sat next to her.
“Yes!” Eleanor said, leaping to her feet, her face red with anger. “What exactly do you mean, your head? It was my head that was cut off, not yours! You’re trying to steal him, aren’t you?”
Cora?
“You’re trying to steal Alec from me!”
Alec’s pain lashed him so hard, I crumpled into a little ball, hugging my knees, unable to look at him.
“You bitch! She’s using you, Alec, nothing more. She had some sort of a vision about the day I was killed—she said so herself—and now she’s trying to use that to confuse you. I’m your Beloved, not her. I don’t care what Kristoff says—it’s me who has the bond with you.”
“Corazon? ” The word was spoken softly, with a world of warmth behind it. Alec knelt next to me, his hand lightly touching my head as I rubbed my cheek against my knees, torn with the need to tell him the truth, and the knowledge of what such an action would mean to us both. And to Eleanor. Could I do that to an innocent woman?
That innocent woman is you! my inner self yelled. She is a past version of yourself!
“Do you remember that I told you I’d seen a vision of the time when I . . . when your Beloved was killed?” I asked, unable to bear Alec’s pain any longer.
“Of Kristoff’s first wife killing my Beloved? Yes.”
I lifted my head to look at him, needing his warmth, needing his strength. His eyes searched my face, and I could feel him gently prodding my mind. I kept him out of my head, unwilling to say what needed to be said, but having enough pride to do it the honorable way, rather than just letting him pick the facts out of my brain.