“Tell me what happened.”
So Roman told her about the events that led to the breakup, sparing some details because this was his mother and she didn’t need to know he’d been sleeping with Alexandra for months. She listened, interrupting every now and then with a question, but allowed him to talk freely.
“Does this have anything to do with my sister?”
“No.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t know the connection? I’m not going to pretend to know what you went through with your mother being unstable during that time, but are you sure this is about Alexandra and not your past?”
He didn’t tell his mother about the house. She’d level him with her look of disappointment and make him feel like a heel. “Yeah. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, but we had worked through those issues. This part was all us.”
“So, why do you think you’re not good enough for her?”
“I was sure the other night I needed to let her go. She’s an amazing lawyer, Mom, and she deserves to be partner. I potentially jeopardized that opportunity because of Club Valentine. Her boss all but fired her.”
“Does she have a problem with the club?”
Roman mulled it over, considered all she’d said and hadn’t said. In some ways, Alexandra took to the club like a duck to water, as though she was meant to be there, but her job held her back from fully enjoying the experience. “I think she has a problem with it spilling over into her personal life. Not with the club itself, but the implications it could have on her professional career. She tried to tell me, but I ignored her, kept seeing her. Maybe pushed her into a relationship she wasn’t fully committed to, and then all this happened.”
She sat down on the outside couch, patting the place beside her. Roman sat, waiting for her judgment. “So, what you’re feeling is guilt.”
“Probably,” he conceded.
“Don’t. She made her own decision to come to the club and continue to see you, regardless of the consequences.”
“But—”
“No.” She patted him on the arm. “Your guilt is misplaced. It’s not your fault she contacted you, and it’s not your fault what happened to your mother.” He jerked his head toward her. Tears shone in her eyes when she cupped his face. “My sweet baby boy, she did what she wanted. I’m not ashamed of her, although my heart aches she took her life, because she left two beautiful boys for me to raise.”
He leaned forward until his head rested on her shoulder. She had the strongest shoulders, something he took for granted until he needed his mother. “She gave me my real mother.”
She ran her hand through his hair. “I wish you could have known her when she was younger. She was my best friend, but she got lost somewhere. I always worried you started the club for her, and I hated that you lived with the guilt of your mother’s suicide. But set it aside. You love your club, your members love your club, and your girlfriend loves your club. If she loves you enough, it won’t matter what you do because you’ll face it together.” She moved his head until their foreheads touched before turning his cheek so she could lay a soft kiss on it.
“I was pretty mean to her.” For the first time, he was willing to acknowledge what he’d done to her, and tried to picture it from Alexandra’s eyes. He’d all but thrown them away because he wanted to be the guy who protected his woman. He still had an insane need to protect her, but he wanted her more than his next breath. And how could he protect her if he sent her away?
“Call her. A woman in love will forgive if the grievance isn’t so heinous.” She kissed him one more time, then left him alone on the terrace. Roman pulled up his phone and called her. Voicemail. She’d hung up on him. He called her again, same response. An hour and five phone calls later and Roman admitted the truth. I’m too late.
22
Alexandra laid her head on her mother’s shoulder three days later, in her happy place at her father’s cabin. Although this was a sorrowful weekend, she was never more thankful for her family than after the past few weeks. She’d spent the previous three days trying to figure out how her two cases were related and came up with nothing. There wasn’t even a whisper of anything nefarious, but this was too coincidental to overlook. If that wasn’t enough, she’d spent a lot of time ignoring Roman, who’d been trying to call her since Tuesday. She wasn’t opening herself up to rejection again in some misguided sense of righteousness. She gave him the key; he could have the house after this weekend.
Her mother patted the side of her head. “Why is my baby so sad?”
“You know I’m always sad at this time, Mom.”
“I know, but it’s something else. Not like the heartbreak of someone who lost their father, but someone who had their heart broken by the guy who was the one. Where’s Roman?”
Alexandra stared at her mother pointedly. “I think we both know why he’s not here.”
Her mother sighed, putting her hand on the side of Alexandra’s head so she’d lay it back on her shoulder. “Are you mad I didn’t tell you?”
“Mad isn’t the word. I’m worried about you, and can’t figure out why we come here every year if he came here with his mistress. She committed suicide in this very house.”
“I know. As to why we come here, it’s my version of penance, I guess.” Her mother sat up, pressing her hands together and leaning forward between her legs. “Neither one of us were perfect. We both made mistakes. It was my fault he was out of town. I’d found out about Trina and told him I hoped he never came back from Washington. He didn’t. I lost your father and my best friend in one weekend, and I’ve never been able to forgive myself. I felt as though it were my fault somehow. So I left the house alone, and Trina killed herself months after your father.”
“Does this have anything to do with Franklin?”
Her mother stood, rubbing her hands down her arms and pacing in front of the couch where Alexandra sat. “Franklin and I were friends. He told me not to worry about what happened with your father, and I didn’t. But then he disappeared about the same time as your father. I figured he felt guilty because your father died and decided to stay away. I never heard from him again.”
“Huh.” Alexandra let it sink in while her mother rambled on about missed connections. “Did he contact you recently?”
Eyes so like her own became suspiciously bright. “No.” She scrubbed her hands down her face, crossing her arms over her chest. “And I was too embarrassed to contact him. Too much time has gone by. I decided to let him be.”
“And Roman. How do you feel about him?”
“Am I happy you’re dating Trina’s son? No. Will I stand in the way? No. True love spans the test of time, regardless of the circumstances. I had a love like that, and I want you to have the same fortune. So I won’t stand in your way.” Alexandra wanted to ask if her mother was speaking of her father but didn’t bother. There was no point. If she was referring to Franklin, she could call him herself. Maybe her mother was right and too much time had passed. She could ease her mom’s mind a little, tell her mother her penance was over, but didn’t bother. When Roman got a hold of the house, he’d demolish it, no questions asked, and they wouldn’t be able to come there again. Her mother needed assurance as much as Alexandra did, but Alexandra couldn’t push the words through her lips. She went back to her default response when anyone asked about Roman.
“Roman’s at a conference.”
“Alexandra Kane, do not pee on my face and tell me it’s raining.”
Alexandra sat back, surprised by her mother’s statement. “I’m sorry?”
“You heard me. He doesn’t have a conference. You were stuttering your way through it when he,” she put in air quotes, “reminded you he would be away this weekend. Before we talk about why your man’s not here, tell me why you lied to me.”