“I didn’t,” she interrupted. “My job, I mean. I didn’t lose my job, but I did lose the guy I was dating when I thought he’d be there for me. I understand on one hand why you ran, but it hurt so much. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest for no reason, and the thought of having to face everything on my own…”
“Babe, I understand. If I were there with you right now, I’d sit on that back porch with you, get you another beer, and watch the sunset with you.” She stood up and turned around to see Roman walking around the side of the house toward her with his phone to his ear. He grinned from ear to ear, and her earlier anger evaporated as she ran toward him. He caught her, hefting her up when she wrapped her arms around him.
“I’m still mad at you.” She peppered his face with kisses.
“I’m still mad at me, too,” he answered, carrying her toward the chair where she’d sat when he’d called. He sat, positioning her on his lap. She put her face in his neck, breathing him in. She loved this man, no doubt about it, but she had to be sure he wouldn’t leave again. “When you said you could lose your job because of me, I lost it. I never meant to make you feel like you were less; I was trying to protect you.”
She sat up, because some conversations were better spoken when looking a person in the eye. “I understand, but I wish you had talked to me instead of just making decisions for me.”
“It’s not a mistake I’ll make again. I get crazy when I think about the club, and I have this need to protect it. When I thought you were threatened by it, I felt pulled by my two different loves. I couldn’t handle it, so I backed away from you, and that was wrong.”
“Just as long as you never do it again.”
He held up two fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
“You weren’t a boy scout.”
“Shows what you know, I was an eagle—” She kissed him to shut him up, her need from him overpowering any lingering feelings of anger. They could work through any remaining issues later. She missed him, and she wanted him, and there was no way she was letting another minute pass without making sure he knew it. Life was short, and she was taking her mother’s advice and making sure Roman knew before it was too late.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she whispered against his lips, before reality started to set in. “I thought I told you I needed the weekend before you could take up residence?”
“Well.” He scratched the side of his head. “I may have conspired with your mother so I could find you alone.”
The conversation earlier, the demand to get ready in thirty minutes finally made sense. “Remind me to say something to her next time I see her.”
“You’re gonna get your wish later tonight, although I told them I’d need hours since you’re stubborn.”
She laid her head on his chest, relishing the sound of his heartbeat. “Perfect. I was hoping we’d have the house to ourselves. I can’t do what I want to you if there are people around.”
“Don’t worry; I can still make you scream.”
“Are you okay being here?” she asked, addressing the unspoken question. His birth mother had died there, so it had to be rough on him. Roman swallowed hard, nodding.
She kissed the side of his neck. “How about we make some new memories?”
23
Roman picked her up, carrying her inside while she directed him toward her room. Alexandra was slammed against the back of the door seconds before Roman’s lips landed on hers, his taste as familiar as her own. Her hands snaked up to hold his head in place, never wanting him to let go. She’d missed this. She’d missed him. When your heart existed outside your body you didn’t want to be separated from it.
Roman broke the kiss, his hands tucking her wayward strands behind her ears, smiling softly. “Missed you,” he whispered, his lips trailing to her neck, kissing the spot behind her ear that never failed to drive her crazy.
“Never again,” she said, her hands grabbing the back of his shirt to lift it over his head. He stopped her with a touch to the wrists, leading her to the bed instead of taking her against the door like she expected.
“I promise,” he vowed, after he’d sat beside her on the bed.
He gathered her close. “I want you to know as long as there is breath in my body you will never again be rejected by me. I’ve never felt like this before, and you fill up parts I didn’t know needed filling. You’re like a balm to my battered soul when I would have gone on the way I was. I know I told you not to fall for me, but then I broke my own rule and fell for the girl who bulldozed me into a sexual relationship I didn’t know I needed.”
She lifted her leg so it was wrapped around his waist, wanting the contact. “You always know the right words to tell me how you’re feeling, while I walk around like an awkward schoolgirl who’s never been asked to a dance. I can’t explain it. I’m self-assured, a kick-ass lawyer, and never had a problem with relationships, but with you I can’t find my balance. I’m second-guessing myself, and I can’t find my footing.” It was an admission she wouldn’t have made months before, but he made her feel secure in her feelings and she needed him to know where she stood. If they wanted to create a lasting relationship, they needed equal footing, which meant hard conversations and honest truths.
“Baby.” His eyes softened. “When you come across the only relationship that matters, it’s going to be different than all the ones before. No one before had the power to destroy me in the way someone who truly matters does. No use fighting what you’re feeling. Just know I’m here to catch you, every time, as many times as you need. I’ll be a soft place for you to fall. When you love someone, they’re the only person who matters. You no longer end where they begin; your existence becomes tied up in theirs.”
She felt the warmth of his words, so excited it manifested itself into a smile on her face. Only Roman would bury a declaration of love in a lecture. It was what he did. He lectured, she listened, and chose to take what was useful. Every word of his last declaration she would be keeping forever. Alexandra considered herself an ordinary girl with an extraordinary job. She had amazing friends who helped break up the monotony of her otherwise boring existence, but Roman was a burst of light that overshadowed the darkness.
“What did I do to deserve you?”
“You think you don’t deserve me?” he scoffed. “I’m the one who thanks my lucky stars you refused to take no for an answer. I would have missed out on your goodness, and that would have been a shame.”
“I love you, too.” She traced patterns along his chest. “In case you were wondering.” He squeezed her tighter, his lips on the top of her head as though breathing her in. She continued on, while she was protected in his arms. “And I’ve had to get myself off this whole week. I need you to get on with it.”
Her words spurred him into action. He took off her shirt before throwing her down on the bed. He lay over her, leaning down to lick the tops of her breasts peeking out from her bra. “You better not have orgasmed without me. Those are mine.”
“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” She shrugged as though she wasn’t underneath him with nowhere to go. “But I think we need to renegotiate.”
“There won’t be another contract,” he growled, possessing her lips again. That’s what it was, a possession. She was no longer her own, she was a part of a team, and Roman told her with his hands and his lips she belonged to him. Hands gliding down her body seconds before his lips, he kissed her everywhere. He licked a line down her stomach, and Alexandra was lost to the emotions within her. This was too much, and one of the reasons she’d always commanded he fuck her. She refused to acknowledge everything happening within them. He smiled up at her when his hands reached the clasp of her jeans, and she nodded her agreement. Days without Roman felt like a lifetime, and they both needed the affirmation.
“Love you,” he told her while he removed her jeans and panties. Giddy when she heard him reiterate his love, as long as she lived, she hoped she never took his words for granted. He stepped back, removing his own clothes before joining her again on the bed. “There’s no rush.” He kissed the spot behind her ear, telling her without words they were taking this slow.