No, we couldn't. I ran my free hand through my hair, suddenly hating it for being blond. I wanted it to be brunette again so at least something about me was real.
He tugged at my hand, mistaking my agitation for something else. "I know you’ve been working hard preparing for your concert and you’re nervous about it, so I'm bringing you a surprise. I think you’ll like it.”
He'd never talked about coming to my concert before, but I should have known he would plan on it. Why had I let things go so far? How could I have let myself get into this situation? This had always been a disaster waiting to happen—I just hadn't seen it. Even if Maren hadn’t threatened me, I would still have been here having the same conversation in not too many days.
He squeezed my hand. "Why do you look so serious?”
I raised my eyes to his, staring at their deep blue color. His eyes would be the easiest things about him to remember. "You really want to tell people we're a couple?”
He shrugged as though it was obvious. "Of course."
"Let me ask you a question. Would you still want everyone to know we were a couple if I wasn’t a celebrity?”
I knew he'd say yes. Whether he actually meant it remained to be seen, but I was sure he would say yes.
Instead he let go of my hand and slid his arm around my shoulder. "Listen, I know you're concerned about your debts and Lorna's book, but you’re too young to worry about being a has-been. Who knows, maybe the book could be a good thing. After it comes out, you can go on the talk shows, give your rebuttal, and then sing something from your new album. It’ll be great publicity. And People will pay a ton of money to get the first scoop interview about how hurt you are that a former employee turned on you this way. Lorna might be doing you a favor.”
Which wasn't my point. I tried again. "Okay, but I mean if I was a small-town girl, living in a . . . well ... a small town, if I was just a normal person. Would you still be interested in me?”
His gaze ran over me, and a grin slid across his face. "You’re too talented to be a normal person. Normal people don't have hit songs on the radio.” As though to prove it, he stood and pulled me up with him. He towed me in front of a large mirror that hung in the entryway hall. "Look at yourself."
I did. I looked at my long blond hair and at him standing behind me, hands on my shoulders. I looked at the muscles in his arms and his perfect features.
He lowered his face to speak softly in my ear. "You surpassed normal a long time ago, and there's no going back to being one of the nameless masses. When our relationship goes public, I’m going to be the envy of every guy.” No, he wouldn't be.
He smiled at my reflection. "The tabloids will say I’m way outclassed, and I won't mind because they'll be right, and I'm glad for it.”
His arms wrapped around me, and he tilted his head to kiss my neck. I watched our reflections in the mirror and felt numb. He’d answered my question. It just wasn't the answer I wanted. And despite my intentions, I couldn’t tell him who I was. I couldn’t face the rejection stoically the way my mother had. I didn't want to go back to West Virginia and cherish his picture on a magazine cover and wait for a phone call that never came.
Well, I would cherish his picture, but I would do it with my pride intact. One day he’d figure out the truth. He was bound to run into the real Kari sooner or later, but I'd be long gone by that time.
"I lied to you,” I said.
He lifted his head, only mildly concerned until he saw my expression. Then his eyes grew sharp.
I swallowed hard. "I lied to you about a lot of things.” The numbness inside chilled me—sent out frozen tendrils winding around my heart. I was shaking and couldn’t stop. "I’m sorry.”
He dropped his arms back to his sides. "You lied? About what—Michael?"
I forced myself to nod. "We’re together, and the stuff in the tabloids about us was true. In fact, a lot of stuff in Lorna’s book is true too. I’m not who you thought I was.” I turned away from the mirror, away from him. I'd hurt him, and I couldn’t stand to see the shock in his eyes.
I headed across the room. As I opened the front door, he took hold of my arm. "That’s it? That's all you’re going to say? I don’t deserve an explanation?”
Before I had a chance to answer, he looked past me to the waiting taxi. At the sight of it, he let out punctured breath, and his gaze turned on me in accusation. "You told your taxi to wait. You only came here to break up, didn’t you?" He let go of my arm as though I suddenly disgusted him. "Don't let me hold up your plans. I’m sure you have places to go.”
I went out the door, pushing myself to go forward. Every move felt stiff, awkward. I heard my footsteps thud down his driveway. I thought vaguely, ridiculously, that Kari wouldn’t have approved of my walk. Then I got to the taxi, opened the door, and sank inside.
I wasn’t going to look back. There was no point in checking to see if the door had already shut, but I couldn't help myself. I turned around in my seat and saw Grant standing in his doorway, arms folded, eyes narrow, watching me leave.
* * *
I told the driver to take me to Kari’s house and then to the airport. I didn’t want to go back to Maren's to pick up my clothes or things. As long as I kept myself focused on what I had to do, I could get through this. I could even make it through this car ride like a normal passenger and not curl into the fetal position and sob uncontrollably in the backseat.
I would say good-bye to Kari, apologize for the trouble I'd caused with Grant, and give her the sapphire necklace. I felt she should have it, since it was bought for her mother.
My hand went to the chain around my throat, fingering it as I looked outside at the passing cars. I’d worn it so many days that it felt like it belonged to me. But I couldn’t keep it any more than I could keep anything else from Kari’s life. None of it was mine. It was this thought that snapped my willpower. The tears I’d held in since Grant’s house came out.
* * *
Once I reached Kari’s I pulled myself together. I had to. Maren’s car was parked in the driveway. If I had to see her again, I wouldn’t do it crying. I sat in the back of the taxi for a few moments fanning my face with my hands as though this would make my eyes less red. Several deep breaths later, I emerged from the taxi and walked to Kari’s door.
"How long do you want to me to wait for you this time?” the driver asked.
I didn’t dare think about how big of a bill I was racking up in cab fare. "I won't be long,” I said.
Even before I reached the door, I could hear their voices inside, yelling at each other.
My steps grew slower. Were they fighting about me? Was Kari angry that Maren had driven me to quit or was Kari just still yelling about the pictures of Grant and me in the tabloids? Maybe she blamed Maren for not keeping better tabs on my whereabouts.
I looked back at the taxi longingly, then knocked on the door. Whatever the fight was about, I would face it.
No one answered. They probably couldn't hear me. I tried the door, found it unlocked—of course—and pushed it open.
Kari was sitting on the floor in the entryway, surrounded by shopping bags. At least a dozen of them. There were shoe boxes and hat boxes and dresses in clear plastic. It looked like Christmas without a tree.
Maren held a tennis bracelet, shaking it at Kari. "How could you spend twenty thousand dollars on this when you already have another one like it?”
"I needed to make myself feel better!" Kari yelled back at her.