Which made Mom and I both dive for the phone. I got to it first, answering with a breathless "Hello?”
It wasn’t my father or Grant. A man's voice I didn't recognize asked to speak to my mother. I handed her the phone. After a few moments, I could pick up from the conversation that it was my father’s lawyer. He wanted the name of Mom's lawyer—as though we naturally had one. Something to do with back child support. The whole topic made Mom uncomfortable, and she paced around the kitchen while she talked. After she hung up, she said to Abuela, "I don't know how to handle this. I didn't raise my daughter because I thought someday he'd pay me for it.”
"Don't look a gift check in the mouth,” Abuela said. "You've still got to send Lexi to college." Abuela brushed a piece of lint from her housedress. "And if we have enough left over to take a cruise, bueno. Who’s to say we don’t deserve it?"
I waited for the phone to ring again. And I knew, though she didn't say it, that my mom waited too. Certainly if my father’s lawyer called today, my father would call too. He’d call to talk about money stuff with my mom or to make sure I got home okay. Something.
Lori came over that evening. She loved my hair's new length. I told her my sister had insisted I get it done so we'd have our hair the same way. I didn't tell her any names, though. It would change how everyone saw me, and I was still getting used to the idea of them as family. Besides, it was my mother's secret too, and maybe she didn’t want the whole town to find out.
"So do you feel better knowing your father?" Lori asked. "Do you feel more complete?"
"I do feel better," I said, "but probably because it made me realize I was complete to begin with. Knowing who he is doesn't change who I am at all."
Lori passed over this comment like it was self-evident, and maybe it had been to her all along. "Did you meet any cute guys?”
"One."
"And?" she prompted.
"And now I’m probably ruined for dating for the rest of my life. Nobody is going to be able to measure up."
She leaned toward me. "Sounds interesting—what was he like?”
"Handsome, nice, talented. He wrote a song for me, and when he sang it ..." I sighed. I didn’t have words to describe the experience. "He had the most beautiful voice."
"So are you keeping in contact with him?"
I shook my head. "It wouldn't work out. We’re from different worlds.”
She must have seen how much it hurt to say this. She immediately switched into loyal-friend mode. "Don’t worry. I promise you’re not ruined for dating." She leaned over and playfully flicked a piece of my hair. "You look great— your hair, makeup, and ... I don't know, you just have this confident air about you now. It’s so . . . I can't put my finger on it.”
I could. It was so Kari Kingsley, but I didn’t say it.
"Hey, I bet the day after finals Theresa will dump Trevor flat-out,” Lori said. "I think she’s only dating him because he’s smart—you know, geek-farming. He'll be ripe for some consolation.”
I smiled at her, but really, the thought of Trevor did nothing for me.
Eventually it grew late and Lori left and I got ready for bed. I stayed up later than I should have. I was still on California time. It didn't have anything to do with phone calls that never came.
* * *
Monday morning was abruptly depressing. First of all, I was tired. Second, it was gray and rainy, and I was still used to blue California skies. Third, instead of a driver, I had to get out my one-spoke-is-broken-but-it-still-works-anyway umbrella and dodge puddles and worms on the sidewalk going to school. Then I had to explain to the office that I'd returned for the rest of the school year.
Hector waved when he saw me, but didn't do anything odd or stalkerish, so I assumed he was back to normal.
Besides a few of my friends, no one in the hallways even commented on the fact that I'd been absent for so long. It should have felt nice to be invisible for a change, but it didn’t. It was almost heartening when Theresa looked me over while I walked to third-period English and said, "You're back. I guess we’ll need to watch for flying books in the library again.”
Zoey, one of the Cliquistas, said, "Theresa, you’d better keep an eye on Trevor. Alexia has got some temptress hair going. Maybe she’ll try to steal him.”
Theresa laughed and said, "What did you do to your hair? I mean, really."
I ignored her, though, glad for once I could chalk it up to sour grapes. Between Peter and the salon, my hair still looked great. I also ignored Trevor when he tried to make small talk in physics class. He practically draped himself over my desk, but I figured if he could dump me without explanation before the Sadie Hawkins dance, then I wasn’t required to respond to his flirting. And besides, what sort of guy flirted with me when he was going out with Theresa? They deserved each other.
At lunchtime Trevor sat at Theresa’s table and they both looked at me, lowered their voices, and then laughed.
This was the sort of thing I was going to have to endure until graduation. Even though I tried to fight it, my mind kept replaying memories of Grant. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. The lilt in his smile when he saw me.
There's something really depressing in knowing that the happiest moments of your life have all come when you were pretending to be someone else.
I dreaded last period, when I’d have to see Trevor in world history, but at the end of fifth period, the principal came on the loudspeakers and announced a school-wide assembly. We were to go immediately to the gym. "And I caution you not to skip out,” she said. "Trust me, you don’t want to miss this.”
Which went to show you how out of touch school faculty was, because I had never been to an assembly that wasn’t worth missing. Still, I found Lori and filed into the gymnasium with the rest of the school.
Bleachers lined the wall, but the middle of the floor had been partitioned off by gym mats turned on their sides to create a screen. These were being held up by teachers so no one could get a look inside. Our only clue to their content was several electric cords that snaked across the floor. The kids sitting behind me spent their time guessing what the assembly would be about. "Definitely a drug assembly” one said. "We’re going to hear how we'll die penniless, emaciated, and covered with sores in some crack house if we ever try them.”
"Car safety,” someone else said. "I bet some idiot crashed during lunchtime and now we get a lecture on wearing safety belts."
I flipped open my calculus notebook and concentrated on my homework. I’d done two problems when the screaming began.
At first I thought something was wrong. Like maybe the bleachers were collapsing or the gym had caught on fire. Then I saw what everyone was gaping at. The teachers had pulled away the mats, revealing a drummer, two guys on electric guitar, a guy on keyboard, and in front of them, rock sensation Grant Delray.
CHAPTER 18
I didn’t blame the girls for screaming. He looked that good. He wore white pants and a tight white shirt that emphasized his broad, muscular shoulders. His hair had been gelled back, which accentuated his striking features and square jaw.
I watched him, unable to breathe.
Grant looked up at the bleachers, but if he was searching for me, I couldn't tell. He held up one hand and said, "Hey, everybody, how’s it going?”
He might have said more, but since nearly every girl in the gym, including Lori, screamed again, I didn't hear what. Even his microphone headset couldn’t overcome that kind of volume.