Considerable inconvenience was caused, when we traveled, by the Queen's bath, without which she could not manage. Few country houses could provide her with one. In Windsor Castle there were two rooms set aside for her bath, and the ceilings of these were of glass so that she could see the whiteness of her body while she bathed.
Only among the humble people would she accept uncleanliness, and she never showed by a twitch of her nostrils that she noticed their odors. She certainly had the art of queenship at her fingertips.
On this occasion she received the ugly bride and groom and told them how much they had made her laugh, and they, like the Coventry players, were overcome by her graciousness and I knew would give her their utmost loyalty forever.
I was deeply concerned with my own problems. When Douglass Sheffield had mentioned her son Robert, I had become very suspicious. My first impulse was to waylay Robert and demand the truth about Douglass and her son. Could I do that? After all, he was not exactly responsible to me for his actions— particularly those which had occurred some time ago. True, he had said he would marry me ... if I were free. That meant little. I was not free. I wondered if at some time he had said the same to Douglass, and then by a strange coincidence—or was it coincidence?—she became free soon after he had talked of marrying her.
No. I would not tackle him. Douglass was a fool. I could overcome her scruples with a little delicate handling, and perhaps I should be more likely to get the true story from her than from Robert. Moreover, it would not have been easy to talk with him, for he had to dance continual attendance on the Queen. We could perhaps escape to the room in the tower, but there was a possibility that there my desire might overcome my common sense. I must be firm with myself. If Robert gave me his version of the story how could I be sure it was the truth? I doubted not he would have some plausible story to tell, whereas Douglass would not have the wit to make one up.
During the next days I cultivated Douglass. She was easy prey. There was no doubt that she was worried about her future; and that she was madly in love with Robert there was no doubt either.
In a few days of revels in which she was obliged—as I was—to see Robert in continuous attendance on the Queen, I had brought her to a state when she was eager to confide in someone, and who should that be but kind and sympathetic Cousin Lettice?
At last it came.
"I will tell you exactly what happened, Cousin, only you must swear not to breathe a word to anyone. It would be the end of him and of me. The Queen's wrath can be terrible as you know. That is what he is always telling me."
"You must not tell me if it will make you uneasy to do so," I said artfully, "but if it would ease your mind ... or you think I might have some advice to offer... ."
"You are so sympathetic, Lettice. I am sure you can understand as few people would."
I nodded. She was probably right about that.
"It happened four years ago," she told me. "John and I were happily married, and I had never thought of another man. He was a good husband, a little stern ... and not very romantic ... if you know what I mean."
"I do," I assured her.
"The Queen was on one of her progresses through the country, the Earl of Leicester traveling with her, and my husband and I joined her entourage at Belvoir Castle, the Earl of Rutland's place. I can't explain what happened to me. I had been a faithful wife until then, but I had never seen anyone like Robert... ."
"The Earl of Leicester," I murmured.
She nodded. "He was the most attractive man I had ever seen. I could not understand myself because he was the most powerful man in the assembly, and was so firmly in the Queen's favor. Everyone was saying that she would marry him soon."
"They have been saying that since she came to the throne."
"I know. But at this time it seemed as though there was a secret understanding between them. It gave him something ... which I can't describe. If he spoke to any of us, or smiled at us, we were so proud. My sister and I quarreled about him, because he was so charming to us both. Frankly, we were jealous. It was strange because before I had never so much as glanced at another man. I accepted John Sheffield as my husband and he was good to me ... and then ... this happened."
"What happened?" I asked.
"We met in secret. Oh, I am so ashamed. I never should have. I can't think what came over me."
"You became his mistress," I said, and I could not disguise the cold note which crept into my voice.
"I know it sounds unforgivable. But you can't imagine what it was like... ."
Oh yes, Douglass indeed I do! I thought. It seems I was as gullible as you.
"So he seduced you," I said.
She nodded. "I held out for a long time," she excused herself, "but you can't know how relentless he can be. He was determined that I should submit, he told me afterwards, and my refusal was a challenge. I protested that I did not believe such things should be done outside marriage and he asked how he could marry me since I had a husband already. Then he talked of how different it would be if I had not had a husband, and he talked so persuasively that I almost believed John was going to die and I should marry Robert. He wrote a note which he impressed on me I should destroy as soon as I had read it. In it he said that he would marry me when my husband died, which he could promise me would not be long, and then we could legally enjoy the ecstasies together which we had already tasted."
"He wrote that!" I cried.
"Yes." She looked at me almost pleadingly. "How could I destroy such a note?" she asked. "I kept it. I used to read it every day and sleep with it under my pillow. I saw Robert several times at Belvoir. We used to meet in an empty chamber there and sometimes in the wood. He said it was very dangerous and if the Queen knew it would be the end of him. But he was doing it all because he was so madly in love with me."
"I understand perfectly," I said bitterly. "And when your husband died... ."
"Something dreadful happened before that. I lost Robert's letter. I was in a panic. He had commanded me to destroy it, but I couldn't. Every time I read it, it brought him back so clearly. He had said in that letter that he would marry me when my husband died... .You see... ."
"Yes, I do see," I assured her.
"My sister-in-law found the letter. She had never liked me, and I was frantic. I summoned all my women one by one. I questioned them, I threatened them, but they declared they had not seen it. Then I asked Eleanor—my husband's sister. She had found it and read it and taken it to my husband. There was such a scene. He made me confess everything. He was absolutely shocked and he hated me. He locked me out of our bedroom and told me to go to the Queen's lapdog, who had already murdered his wife. He said terrible things about Robert and that he was going to ruin him and me, and that the whole country would know what had happened at Belvoir and that Robert Dudley planned to murder him as he had murdered his wife. I sobbed all night and in the morning he had gone away. My sister-in-law told me that he was going to London to arrange a divorce and that very soon everyone would know me for the harlot I was."
"And what happened then?"
"John died before he could make any of this known."
"How did he die?"
"It was some sort of dysentery."
"And you think that Leicester arranged it... ?"
"Oh no, no. He did not. It just happened that way."
"It was very convenient for Leicester, wasn't it? Had your husband suffered before from this... dysentery?"
"I never knew that he did."
"Well, then there was no obstacle to your marriage."
She looked forlorn. "It would have been the end of everything for him, he said. He used to tell me how much he wanted to marry me, but you see the Queen was so jealous and she had such a fondness for him."