I was raked by the passion. Pure lust. I was consumed as never before. I felt Gunilla’s hands on Annie’s tits-how well they caressed them-and even that maddened me. I thought of how well Annie was being treated-what a work out she was getting. And that maddened me. I licked and sucked at Gunilla’s cunt, probing, drinking, sucking out more, and that drove me insane. Suddenly everyone was bellowing: “I’m coming. I’m coming!” Everything was flesh and shouting and sopping cunts and dogs barking arid Gunilla shouting and over everything else in the wild animal screams of Annie completely out of control. Then the world blew apart with ecstasy.
Chapter Sixteen
Annie was sprawled slackly on me, sleepily kissing my throat and murmuring over and over: “Thank you, thank you.” Gunilla had cradled my head on her cunt and was stroking my hair, looking down at me with eyes sweet with love. Gustav was sleeping against my side. I knew it was my destiny. I knew I must always have the women around me.
I eased Annie off, got up, and looked at my watch. It was late. We had to get Annie ready for dinner. She was drunk with pleasure; she just lay there cooing to herself. “Nilla,” I said, helping her up, “we have to get Annie dressed.” Gunilla hugged me to her plush nakedness saying, “ummmmm-ah!” We started getting the clothes together. We got Annie to the bed and began dressing her, playing with her body at the same time. It was wonderful to see how happy she was.
“Yes, yes,” she said. “I’m all right. I’ll go and serve dinner.” Then her face opened even more: “But I want to thank you. All my life I have dreamed of, wanted, needed total ecstasy. The total achievement of being alive. Today I had it, and I thank you both. I am your slave. Truly. That’s all I’ll ever want now-to serve you.” Tears of joy filled her eyes and she ran out.
While I was getting cleaned up in my room, I began to worry about Mother again. Not only was I shy about facing her after what I’d done on the beach, but I was apprehensive about how angry she might be. But when I got to the table, she wasn’t there. Louise said Mother wanted to lie down because she was tired. And that she wanted to see me after dinner! I hardly realized I was eating; my thoughts were on the audacity of what I’d done to Mother and how I was about to lose all that I’d found.
When I’d finished, I nervously went up and knocked on her door. She called come in. She was lying on the bed and motioned for me to approach. After looking at me a while without speaking, she told me to lock the door. When I returned to the bed, she still just looked at me-her face non-committal. Then, staring steadily into my eyes, she began to speak in a low voice:
“Lars, ever since you entered this house, there has been a different atmosphere. The appearance of dignity continues, but underneath there is a constant sexual fever. You have been the cause. Not only in general by your presence, but by your continual erotic activity. You are forever peeking into the clothes of your sisters. You have spied on me through the keyhole, and in the mirror, and from my closet, and through my window. When I try to talk with you, I notice you are looking up my skirt. You have hidden in Gunilla’s room and watched the most intimate, the most sacredly private things between me and your Father. Besides that, you have had sexual relations with at least one of your sisters. I also have reason to believe you have been using the servants. Finally, when I took you to the beach to try to help you-carefully explaining the rules and limitations of what you were to do- you ended by feeling me up, your own mother, like you would some teenage tramp!”
I was too scared even to begin begging for forgiveness. I only hung my head. “The more I thought of it after I got away from you, Lars, the more clearly I saw that it was a choice between sending you back to the orphanage as unfit for a decent family, or allowing my home to be completely debauched. I realized that if I let you remain, I and all my family would become servants to your lust. You would make this fine house a brothel. Isn’t that true?”
There was an endless sadness in me. It was hard to leave now that I’d known the pleasures of this rich world, and when I loved all these women so. But, at the same time, there was finally an acceptance of what I was and that my Me would be given up to that. I didn’t want to change, even though it meant losing all this.
“What you say is true, Mother. I confess that I will never change. I don’t blame you for sending me back. But I want you to know that I am more grateful than I know how to say for these few days of paradise. And I want you to know that I will love you for the rest of my life.” I was crying now.
“Oh, my baby, please don’t cry. I’m not going to send you away. I was just teasing. Please don’t cry. Please. Look what Mommy has for you.”
I looked up, bewildered. Mother was gently smiling at me with complete love and tenderness. As I looked, she began unbuttoning her blouse-saying again how I mustn’t cry and to look at what Mommy had for her little baby. She opened her blouse all the way, pulling the bottom out of her skirt. She moved it back a little so I could see the total cleavage and began to stroke the inside slopes of her breasts as she talked.
“It was mean of me to scare you, Lars. The truth is that your presence has been a blessing to everyone in this house- except your father. Never has there been so much happiness here, so much pleasure in being alive. There is laughter, now, and love. I wake up in the morning surprised by joy and lie here wondering what way you’ll make it a special day. You make each one a gift. I know that Gunilla and Louise and Annie feel the same. But they have thanked you by serving that splendid lust in you; I have not. That has to be changed. I am now going to do everything you’ve wanted. Would you’ like me to show you my nipples, son? I’ve teased you and turned away so many times at the last second. This time I promise you it will be different. I’m not wearing a brassiere, so if I pull this blouse open a little more, you will see everything. Look.” She wet her fingers and rubbed the nipple. She did this several times until the material was wet and transparent, clearly showing the nipple. I couldn’t believe my luck. I had resigned myself to being sent away, and suddenly here was Mother asking if I wanted to see her nipples. “Ask for it, Lars. Please ask me to show you my nipples so I’ll know that you find your momma a little exciting.”
“Oh, Mother, I… I think you are gorgeous!”
“Then Momma will show her tits to her little baby.” She provocatively twisted her body back and forth so that the breasts slowly worked themselves out into the light. Suddenly the nipples were there. Tanned and excitingly large, with small crisp areolas. The breasts were miracles of beauty. They had a double curve, something like a pear, but not so pointed. The line of the curve was incredibly beautiful. For all her whiteness, I realized that Mother was a little tanned, because the breasts were even whiter. I could see the line where her halter had been. This was especially exciting, because it gave a sense of the breasts being spotlighted.
“In a moment you will touch them, Lars. Handle them. Suck them. But first I want you to see the rest, to see my cunt!” She unzipped her skirt. It was tight and she had to wiggle out. She exaggerated the motion for me. smiling almost wantonly. It was off. She lay there in only her pants and silk stockings. MOTHER! Lying there like that, smiling up at me. My eyes were so eager to see that they were confused. I tried to see everything at once, running from her breasts to her pants, to her open mouth, to her thighs so sexually naked above the stockings, to-the nipples, to the belly, to the pants…
“Poor little baby. It is hard for you to take it all in? Well, look behind you. I’ve moved the mirror so it shows the bed. I wanted us to be able to watch you fucking your mother. It gives a perspective that allows you to somehow have what you’re having even more. The motion pictures you’ll make of me will do the same thing. But look now and see how it makes it even more sexual seen at a distance.”