"Gleep?" squeaked the mouse.
"He must have gone down one of the other passages!" the elegant one shouted.
"We'll split up," the miniskirted one ordered.
"Call for reinforcements," the little one panted.
"I'll get the others back here," the elder one insisted. "You keep looking. I'll bet this Skeeve is here somewhere."
I grinned. They were absolutely right.
They all took off in different directions, but within minutes reassembled in the hall heading for the main stairs. Tananda vanished, heading to a point over the stairway where she had some little surprises ready. I could almost count backwards in my head, men ...
"Eeeeeee!!!"
A plague of wood spiders came plummeting out of the air onto the heads of the Pervects. These weren't real arachnids, but an animate growth like an active moss Tanda had discovered while "camping out" in another dimension (well, that's what she had called it). The longlegged plants enveloped the Pervects with fibrous threads, wrapping them up like mummies. The females' feet got tangled up, just in time to slip on the spongy marbles scattered on the floor from another package in the Trollop's bag of tricks. Yelling, the four clutched at one another, dancing madly to stay upright. They cannoned into one another, and rolled head over heels down the stairs. Being Pervects I knew the fall wouldn't hurt them, but it would make them mad.
I had been counting on Bunny to set off the next wave, which let a gaggle of herdbeasts loose from the reception chamber where they'd been penned up since before dawn. I reached out with my mind, lifted the latch, and flung open the door. Baaing in panic, the herd thundered out, heading for the main door and freedom. Before the Pervects could tear all the wood webbing off, they were in the middle of a mini-stampede.
Into the midst of this mess, another Pervect appeared, the efficient one in the coveralls.
"Vergetta, what's going oooo-nnn-nnn-nnn!"
The marbles claimed another victim. She catapulted down the stairs and landed on her fellows, who were just picking themselves up off the floor. They all fell down again. Another, the plump motherly one, blipped into the middle of the disarray.
"What is going on here?" she cried. "Who-oo-oooa!" And down.
Six. It was time to let myself be seen. Wearing the disguise that Aahz and I had worked up for my "audition" as court magician of Possiltum, I stalked out onto the landing and raised my arms. The main door slammed shut behind the last of the herdbeasts. The open windows banged closed, and the torches on the walls dimmed and flickered.
"There!" the elegant one shouted. "There he is!"
Bolts of fire and lightning flew at me, from not one, but two directions. I spun on my heel. The slim female in the long robe had reappeared on the landing. I glanced up. Tananda was gone. I threw up my hands, spreading out a ward. Her lightning bolt bounced off, and I "disappeared" in a cloud of smoke, courtesy of a bag of flash powder. The Pervect magician doubled over coughing. Before it cleared I was flying through the hall overhead, aiming toward my next vantage point. The object was to lure the Pervects, all ten of them, back into their chamber all at the same time. I had seven.
Gleep wasn't idle. I bounded up toward the ceiling in time to avoid being run over by my pet, who was being chased by two Pervects dressed in exactly opposite styles. One had on the most conservative two-piece suit I had ever seen, and the other was in a spiked leather bustier and stockings. It takes all kinds, I mused. Nine.
All we were missing was the grouchy one. I had presumed I was going to catch a few fish upstairs in the main headquarters as they popped back from the Wuhs riots, then found they couldn't pop out again. I hoped fervently that she was there. It was time to lure the rest of them back into the trap we had set.
Sailing towards the second floor anteroom I lit off a series of rainbow blasts of light designed to bring the Pervects running my way. Without Bunny I was going to have trouble with the next part of my illusion, but I was willing to improvise. I alit on the mantel of the fireplace, where I'd gotten stuck the first day. Now it was a perch to keep me from being trampled by the Pervects.
"Sst! Skeeve!"
I glanced down and saw the gleam of a familiar head of red hair. Bunny! A thin gray hand waved.
"Ready, Master Skeeve!" Zol whispered.
I beamed. My force was back up to full strength. It was showtime.
From two different directions the Pervects converged upon the hallway, one group pursuing Gleep, one following my beacons. At my signal, Bunny turned Bytina toward me.
I spread out my arms and in my most impressive voice I boomed out, "Greetings!"
My magician image, vastly expanded, appeared on the wall of the headquarters. Yes, there was the tenth Pervect waving her arms, evidently trying to figure out why her transportation spell wasn't working.
"He's in our workroom!" the eldest shrieked furiously. Together, the remaining nine of the Pervect Ten went charging into the chamber with Gleep right alongside them. I saw him take a deep breath.
I crossed my fingers. The timing was very tricky. The second the last Pervect crossed the threshold, Gleep breathed out a long tongue of flame. It struck the big tub of flash powder Tanda and I had left on the Pervects' table. A vast cloud of smoke filled the room, accompanied by coughing and hacking. Gleep came lolloping out of the midst of it as if he hadn't a care in the world. He was largely immune to anything having to do with smoke and fire. I watched carefully as he exited. The little flames marked his passage, and turned their points inward. The Pervect Ten were trapped.
When the smoke cleared, I was sitting crosslegged on the air facing the door, my disguise dispelled.
"Greetings," I announced. "I am the Great Skeeve."
TWENTY-EIGHT
"When you have the upper hand, use it."
-M. JORDAN
Coughing, the Pervect Ten turned to face me. I had to admit I felt a little sorry for them. I'd made the mistake of being at ground zero more than once when using flash powder, and the effect was lung-searing. I preferred to be well away by the time it deployed. Gleep came trotting over to me, expecting a pat on the head for a job well done. He got it.
"Who the hell is the tot?" the eldest demanded, waving her arms to clear the air.
"Watch who you're calling a tot!" the little one grumbled. "Yeah, who are you?"
"Greetings, ladies," I repeated, spreading my hands and floating higher in the air on a wisp of thought. "I am Skeeve the Magnificent."
"You?" the angry one declared. "You're going to be Skeeve the Grease Spot when I get through with you!"
I threw a finger toward Bunny, who turned Bytina to face me. My face, magnified about sixty times, appeared on the wall of the chamber, and my voice echoed out of the computer on the desk.
"Halt!" I shouted. The very volume caused them to stop in their tracks.
"I serve the Wuhses, and they have empowered me to deal with you. So deal you shall!"
"I'll tear him apart," the heavy-browed one snarled.
"Me first," snarled the one in the leather skirt. They all started moving towards me, claws out.
"Don't!" I shouted, as they made towards me. "Look at the walls around you. My dragon reset the wards so the flames are facing you. I know that Pervects are vulnerable to fire. Do not try to cross the threshold."
"That's our spell!" the robed one protested.
"Formation, ladies!" the eldest one ordered. "Let's wipe this snotty little brat out of existence."
They all joined hands and closed their eyes. I braced myself. I had watched them send a crowd of a thousand Wuhses each back to their individual homes with a single spell. They were the most powerful magikal force I had ever encountered. If they could break through my preparations I was finished. I waited ... waited ... waited ... then ...