Aahz looked up at it, his fists on his hips.
"What a tower of junk," he said.
"No, it isn't!" Samwise protested. "You have to let it grow on you, Aahz."
"If anything like that grew on me, I'd have it removed," Aahz retorted.
"You just need to see it from a better angle," the Imp said. "This way."
I followed him to the left, past heaps of sand and gravel, small bundles of personal items, and a Ghord with a monkey's face grilling vegetables over a smoking fire. The three layers of carved stones didn't strike me as exciting— far from it. To me, it was just an upright graveyard. Still, there was something I couldn't define. As we got closer, the unprepossessing chunks of incised stone took on a new glamour. I reached out to touch the carvings on one of the monoliths that even on its side rose above my head. It tingled under my fingers. Alone, they were just inanimate hunks of mineral. Together, though, they created their own magik. I took a deep breath. I felt almost as if I could hear voices from the past, tingling bells, the call of horns, the bray of animals and voices, voices, voices. I took my hand away, and
the sounds and tingling stopped.
"That's amazing," I said.
Aahz didn't seem to find any wonder in it.
"It's just a heap of rocks," he said flatly. "Why would anyone invest a silver coin in it, let alone thousands?"
"Ah, but this isn't the best way to view it," Samwise insisted. He beamed at Aahz. The crisis was over, and he was a salesman again. "Now, follow me. Please stay out of the way of the workers. I have to pay them an interruption fee if they have to pause more than 1.5 seconds to let someone by who is not on the payroll."
"You sure have to put up with a lot of regulations," I commented.
"The Deveel is in the details," Samwise said with plaintive resignation.
"In other words, some Deveel wrote your employment contracts," Aahz growled. "That'll cost you extra if we have to untangle it."
"Whatever it takes, Aahz," Samwise said. He patted the stone I had touched. "See, down here are the economy stones. A whole family can have the eternity of their dreams for not much more than a year's income in Imper. Engraving and other services are extra, but can be arranged for in perpetuity. I think you will find we don't have a single unhappy customer."
"Uh, what's your . . . occupancy rate?" I asked. In Klah, stepping on someone's grave was punishable by a curse.
Samwise turned to me. "Do you mean, has anyone taken up permanent residence here yet? No, young sir, not yet. Barring accidents, I doubt that will happen for many years. By then, I hope the Valley of Zyx will take its place among the dimensions' greatest destinations! Now come with me. This always wows the customers."
He felt around with one foot, then began to climb, step by step, up an apparently invisible set of steps. I looked more closely with my mind's eye and saw that a staircase had been constructed of magik. It reached upward at a diagonal, leading to a point high above us where it intersected with three other tiers of steps.
Aahz stumped upward, unfazed by stairs he couldn't see. I kept some magik available in case I needed to keep myself from falling. I was good at flying, after years of practice, but I hated having the floor drop out from under me.
"You can see what a great location we have here. We're positioned in the heart of the western portion of the valley. Over the hills to the east is the city of Aser, the seat of the empire. It comprises a marriage of old and new, a city of millennia with a new outlook. Why, the Pharaoh herself is a big fan ..."
"Just the facts, pal," Aahz interrupted him.
"That is a fact, good sir!" Samwise exclaimed. "Why, all the best people are going to be interred here. Only the best. They are the most forward-thinking of consumers, wholehearted supporters of the cooperative scheme. Dying is the new living!"
Supported on the invisible steps, we walked right over the heads of the Ghord stonecarvers. I'd always
been fascinated by artisans who used skill instead of magik. Dressed in the same kilt and headcloth I had seen on everyone in Ghordon, they knelt before the slabs in place, hammer and chisel in hand, tapping away. I thought there was already plenty of ornamentation on each of the stones, but the craftsmen and -women worked away at minute details, almost bringing the images to life. In fact, a hawk-headed female incised on a nearby stone turned to look at me. When it did, the two female Ghord carvers kneeling at the rockface glanced over their shoulders. They giggled. One leaned forward and tapped something on the stone wall with her hammer and chisel. The other bent to read it, then hammered out a small carving, which her friend read. They giggled again. So did the image of the hawk-faced woman. I grinned at them awkwardly. What was so funny? I'm told I'm not bad looking. I had run a company. I had faced insane wizards. I had made friends and enemies across the dimensions. So what they were laughing about?
I really didn't understand women. All my choices in the dating field thus far had been bad ones.
"C'mon, kid," Aahz called. I hurried to catch up.
Chapter 5
"You can take it with you."
Samwise was still talking. "... So I said to myself, who wouldn't want their very own monumental tomb? Everyone has to die sometime. So why not find like-minded individuals, with money, of course, to create that fantastic piece of real estate in time for . . . in time for . . . " The Imp sought a suitable euphemism.
"... Their permanent nap?" Aahz supplied.
"Mister Aahz!" Samwise said, shocked. "I have the greatest respect for my clientele. It's something that everyone's going to need eventually, even Vampires; and Ghordon is a dimension at easy access to Limbo as well as Klah and Deva. It can't miss!"
Aahz gave Samwise a wary eye, but I put it down more to his dislike for Limbo than the idea of a modest commission per sale. We could do well financially out of the deal. I just kept thinking there had to be a catch.
We passed the top tier of guards. They bowed to Samwise and looked us over pretty carefully. Though most of them were Ghords, I was surprised to see a Titan, a Troll, and a few other surprising species represented.
"You do a little hiring from outside the dimension," I mentioned casually, tilting my head toward the Titan. Aahz's eyebrows rose when he saw him. Titans—gigantic, well-muscled and silver-skinned—had notoriously bad tempers. They disliked working for anyone but themselves. Rumor had it that they even ate their own children if they were displeased. I took that last with a grain of salt. After all, I had heard some pretty disgusting rumors about Pervects. Most of them weren't true, no matter how much Perv spent on P.R.
"Oh, yeah," Samwise said. "They are here to work off the cost of their own pyramid tombs—their piece of the rock, so to speak."
"Speaking of that, let's talk about financial specifics," Aahz suggested smoothly. I could tell he wanted the top spot on the pyramid being built.
"Fine." Samwise rubbed his palms together. "What can I do for you, my friend?"
"Well," Aahz said, looking unimpressed as he watched the Scarabs manhandle—or should I say, beetle-handle?— another massive slab up the ramps and into place on the current level below us, "I think maybe you have something going on here—maybe. It's not great yet—but with our help it could be bigger than Diksen's place."
Samwise's eye summed Aahz up. I think he knew exactly where Aahz was going. An Imp making a deal is a weakling compared with a Deveel, but they can usually hold their own against a Pervect. Still, he'd never dealt with Aahz before. I stood back to enjoy the bargaining.
"Well, my friend—I can call you my friend, can't I?"