"What's that, Massha?" I said, innocently.
"Where's mine?"
There was a lot loaded into those two words, everything from threats to a plea. This time, however, I wasn't going to be moved. I had given the matter a lot of thought and firmly resolved to stand by my decision. "You aren't going to need a disguise, Massha. You aren't staying."
"But, Skeeve..."
"No!"
"But..."
"Look, Massha," I said, facing her directly, "I appreciate your wanting to help, but this is my problem. Aahz is my partner, not to mention my mentor and best friend. What's more, it was my thoughtlessness that got him so upset he resigned from the firm and ran away. No matter how you cut it, it's my job to find him and bring him back."
My apprentice regarded me with folded arms and tight lips.
"Agreed," she said.
"... So there's no point in your trying to... what did you say?"
"I said agreed," she repeated. "... As in, I agree it's your job to bring Aahz back!"
That took me by surprise. I had somehow expected more of an argument. Even now, it didn't look to me like she had really given up the fight.
"Well, then..."
"... And it's my job as your apprentice to tag along and back your moves. By your own logic, Chief, I'm obligated to you the same way you're obligated to Aahz." It was a good argument, and for a moment I was tempted to let her stay.
"Sorry, Massha," I said finally with real regret, "I can't let you do it."
"But..."
"... Because you're going to be my stand-in when the rest of the team takes on Queen Hemlock." That stopped her, as I thought it would, and she bit her lip and stared into the distance as I continued. "It's bad enough that the rest of the crew is going to fight my battle for me, but to have both of us sit it out is unthinkable. They're going to need all the help they can get. Besides, part of the reason for having an apprentice is so that I can be two places at once... isn't it?" I figured that would end the discussion, but I underestimated Massha's determination.
"Okay, then you lead the fight against Hemlock and I'll fetch the Scaly Wonder."
I shook my head.
"C'mon, Massha. You know better than that. It was my thoughtlessness that made him leave in the first place. If anyone should, if anyone can make him come back it's got to be me."
She muttered something under her breath that it's probably just as well I didn't hear, but I was pretty sure it wasn't wholehearted agreement. With one problem already at hand from my lack of attentiveness to my associates' moods, I thought it ill-advised to ignore the fact my apprentice was upset.
"Look, can we take a few minutes and discuss what it is that's really bothering you?" I said. "I'd just as soon we didn't part company on an off note."
Massha pursed her lips for a few moments, then heaved a great sigh.
"I just don't like the idea of your taking on this chore alone, Skeeve. I know you know more magik than I do, but this is one of the meanest of the known dimensions. I'd feel better if you had a backup is all... Even if it's just a mechanic like me. These little toys of mine have helped us out more than once in the past."
What she was referring to, of course, was her jewelry. Nearly all the magik Massha used was of the gimmick variety... magik rings, magik pendants, magik nose studs... hence the nickname within the trade of "mechanic." She was, however, polite enough to not stress too hard the fact that her toys were often more effective and reliable than my own "natural" form.
"You're right, Massha, and I'd love to have you along... but you're needed more against Hemlock. Before you get too worried, though, just remember I've handled some pretty tough situations in the past."
"Those weren't on Perv and you usually had your partner along to handle the rough stuff," she said bluntly. "You don't even have a D-hopper along."
"I'll get it back from Aahz when I find him. If I'm successful, we'll be along together. If not, I figure he'll give me the D-hopper and set it for Klah just to be rid of me."
"... And if you can't find him at all?" Massha gestured pointedly at the crowds on the street. "In case you haven't noticed, this isn't going to be the easiest place to locate someone."
For a change, I was confident when I answered. "Don't worry about that. I'll find him. I've got a few tricks up my sleeve for that chore. The trick is going to be getting him to change his mind."
"Well, can you at least do one thing? As a favor to your tired old apprentice?"
She tugged a ring off her left pinkie and handed it to me. "Wear this," she said. "If you haven't shown up by the end of the week, I'll come looking for you. This'll help me locate you if you're still in this dimension... or do you want to run the risk of being stranded here?"
The ring fit loosely on my right thumb. Any larger, and I would have had to wear it like a bracelet. Staring at it, a 9 sudden suspicion flitted through my mind. "What else does it do?"
"Beg pardon?" Massha replied with such innocence I knew I was right.
"You heard me, apprentice. What does it do besides provide a beacon?"
"Wellll... it does monitor your heartbeat and alert me if there's a sudden change in your physical condition, like say if you were injured. If that happens, I might just drop in a little early to see what's wrong." I wasn't sure I liked that.
"But what if my heartbeat changed for normal reasons... like because I met a beautiful girl close up?" That earned me a bawdy wink.
"In that case, High Roller, I'd want to be here to meet her. Can't have you running around with just anybody, can we?"
Before I could think of a suitable reply, she swept me into a bone-crushing hug.
"Take care of yourself, Skeeve," she whispered with sudden ferocity. "Things wouldn't be the same without you."
There was a soft pop in the air, and she was gone. I was alone in Perv, the nastiest of the known dimensions.
Chapter Two:
"They don't make ‘em like they used to!"
—H. FORD
ACTUALLY, I WASN'T as worried as you might think I'd be from the situation. Like I'd told Massha, I had an ace up my sleeve... and it was a beaut!
A while back, I was part... heck, I was the instigator of a plan to force the Mob out of the Bazaar at Deva. I felt it was only fair, since I was the one who had given them access to the Bazaar in the first place, and besides, the Devan Merchants' Association had paid me well to get the Mob off their backs. Of course that was before the Mob hired me to run their interests at the Bazaar, and the Bazaar agreed to give me a house and pay me a percentage of the profits to keep the Mob at bay. Sound confusing? It was... a little. Fortunately, Aahz had shown me how the two assignments weren't mutually exclusive and that it was ethically possible to collect money from both sides... well, possible, anyway. Is it any wonder that I prize his counsel so highly? However, I digress.
During the initial skirmishes of that campaign, I had acquired a little souvenir that I had almost forgotten about until I was getting ready for this quest. It wasn't much to look at, just a small vial with its stopper held in place by a wax seal, but I figured it just might mean the difference between success and failure.
I probably could have mentioned it to Massha, but frankly I was looking forward to taking the credit for having pulled off this chore by myself. Smirking confidently, I glared around to be sure I was unobserved, then broke the seal and removed the stopper.