"And you let him!"
"I don't seem to have had a choice, my dear. He ... he brought all of his friends. And some furniture."
"It's horrible," Renimbi said. "Like something from a fun fair. And look what else he is doing! They're tearing up the entire room!"
"High spirits, child. Be a good hostess. We are going to be kin from now on."
"No, we're not," Renimbi said. "I told you I didn't want to marry him. I won't. You can't make me!
The Tue-Khan actually dropped his gaze and shuffled his toe on the marble floor. "I'm afraid that you already have, child."
"What?"
The Tue-Khan produced a paper from the inside of his over-robe. "The clauses written in here ... the lawyers, you know ... insisted I include a consideration to make the contract valid ... and I have always wanted to see the two of you together. I was sure you'd be happy, my dear."
"You tied me to him? And you didn't tell me?"
At last the Tue-Khan was beginning to look more angry than doubtful. "I didn't know he had become such a ... lout!"
"Tear up the contract!" Renimbi demanded.
The Tue-Khan hastily stuck the parchment roll back into his robe. "Child, my dream has always been to unite our lands. It is already accomplished. We are now one great country. Surely you can put up with one another, say on state occasions, and perhaps to give us a grand-child or two? For your dear old father?" He held out his hands to her.
"No! Never!"
"What a great idea, Rennie!" Cordu called from his reclining position. "We can give him grandchildren. We can start today." He patted the couch. "This is comfy."
Renimbi's cheeks turned ochre with fury, but she didn't move. Chumley walked over and tucked her under his arm. She beat and kicked at him as he carried her to Cordu's couch. The prince edged out of reach when Chumley plopped her down. She didn't notice. She sprang up and raced back to the steps of the throne.
"You tied me to him! Now I am stuck with your choice! I hate you! I hate him!"
"My darling, I have only the best intentions for you in my heart!" The Tue-Khan said. Cordu finished his brandy and tossed the priceless glass over his shoulder.
CRASH!
It burst into shards on the floor. The Tue-Khan winced.
"Rennie, I'm glad you showed up," Cordu said. He stood up, swaying. Chumley admired his acting technique. Cordu wasn't drunk at all. Most of the priceless brandy had been poured down between the cushions. He hoped Cordu could get through his entire speech without fumbling. This was the one he had been the most nervous about on the trip there. "I thought your father had a great idea. I mean, how else could I conquer a whole country with the stroke of a pen? From childhood, we've been good friends. I want... hie! ... I want you to meet Larica. She's my wife, too. You're gonna be good friends. She said she's got some great ideas about how the two of you are going to get along. She wants to change your wardrobe, and teach you needlework. My personal chamber back home needs a whole new tapestry, and you haven't been doing anything useful over the last few years, so this will be a nice change for you."
"Urrrrrgggh!" Renimbi shrieked, wringing her hands in anger. "I wish you were dead!"
"Bingo, what?" Chumley said to himself. "Couldn't have scripted it better myself."
"Rennie!" Cordu said reproachfully. "How could you say such a thing? I'm sho—"
THUNK!
His words were cut off suddenly, because a crossbow bolt buried itself in the center of his chest.
"Gack!" Cordu exclaimed. He clutched the feathered end of the arrow. Larica let out a terrified cry. Cordu staggered to the left. He goggled at the Tue-Khan, whose expression of horror matched his own. He grasped at the air with his free hand then staggered back to the right. He held up a hand as though he was about to make a statement, but his knees collapsed under him. As the assembly in the throne room watched in horror, Cordu toppled over. His eyes sagged closed. Renimbi ran to kneel beside him. She took his wrist, feeling for a pulse.
"Cordy? Cordy? Speak to me!"
"One side. I examine," Chumley said, kneeling beside the prone Cordu. Both women clutched each other. The Troll shook his head with magnificent gravity.
"Dead."
"Dead?" Renimbi said.
Tananda descended magnificently from the ceiling, foot in a loop of rope. The crossbow was slung at her back.
"As ordered, Duchess," she said. "I think I've earned my fee."
"But I didn't really want him dead," Renimbi wailed. "He's my best friend."
"Did you want him as a husband?" Tananda asked, surprised. "He has been acting like such a jerk."
Renimbi wrung her hands.
"I know, but that's just the way he is ... I mean, was. Oh, how could I have been so stupid?"
The Tue-Khan came down from his throne and stood over the body of his momentary son-in-law. Shaking his head, he took the document out of the pocket in his robe. Sorrowfully, he tore it into strips and let the pieces fall down onto the body.
"This agreement becomes null and void on the death of one of the couple," he said. "I should never have let my ambition get in the way of my good sense. I am so very sorry, daughter. Your oldest friend, dead, and all because of me." He turned and pointed a finger at Tananda. "Seize her!"
"You really can't arrest me," Tananda said, as burly Nobs crowded in on her from all sides. "My contract was properly registered with the Assassins' Guild."
One of them fastened manacles around her wrists, and bent to loop lengths of chain around her ankles. She winked outrageously at him.
"You know, I don't usually go in for this kind of thing, but I'll try anything once."
The Nob turned away, nervously. Chumley almost laughed out loud.
"You are very bold for a wench who is about to suffer torture and death," the Tue-Khan rumbled. "You ... you Trollop!"
"Why, you noticed!" Tananda said, flirting her eye-lashes at him. Chumley surreptitously yanked the arrow out of Cordu's chest.
"You will die most painfully!" the Tue-Khan roared.
"Oh, I don't think so," Tananda said. Her wrist chains jangled as she raised a hand to pat a yawn. "It's not on my schedule, you know."
Renimbi and Larica hung on each others' shoulders, weeping. The Tue-Khan and Tue-Khana came to wrap their arms sympathetically around them.
"Oh, this is all my fault!" Renimbi said. "He was my best friend. I didn't really want him to have him killed. I just didn't see any other way out of my father's contract."
"Well, it worked, didn't it?" Cordu asked.
Renimbi spun, gasping.
"Cordy!"
"Rennie!"
"Cordy!"
"Larrie!"
The three of them enjoyed a group hug, then Renimibi's parents made it five.
"But you were dead!" Renimbi exclaimed.
"Not really," Tananda said. "The arrow's just a party gag I picked up in Deva. The person you plunge it into falls into a magical coma until you pull it out again. It doesn't even leave a mark." She pulled one from the quiver at her belt and stabbed it into the arm of the guard beside her. His eyes rolled up in his head, and he collapsed on the floor. "See?"
"So your behavior was all an act?" the Tue-Khan said. His face darkened.
"Of course, sire," Chumley said. "They could not be free of your machinations unless you destroyed the compact. You wouldn't do that unless Cordu was dead, or was so reprehensible in nature that you would not countenance him as a son-in-law any longer. We decided to make doubly certain."
"I didn't know he was such a good actor," Renimbi said, giving him a pinch on the cheek.