I heaved a quiet sigh inside and leaned back to wait,
propping my feet up on a chair. This particular quarrel
was old before Vilhelm had left on his shopping trip,
and I was tired going over it again and again.
"Be reasonable, Aahz," Tananda said, taking up the
slack for me. "You know we can't wander around town
like this... especially you with half the city looking for
you. We need disguises, and without a decent power
source, Skeeve here can't handle disguises for all of us.
Besides, it's not like we're using mechanical magic. We
won't be using magic at all."
"That's what everybody keeps telling me," my part-
ner growled. "We're just going to alter our appearances
without using spells. That sounds like mechanical magic
to me. Do you know what's going to happen to our
reputations if word of this gets back to the Bazaar? Par-
ticularly with most of the competition looking for a
chance to splash a little mud on the Great Skeeve's
name? Remember, we're already getting complaints
that our prices are too high, and if this gets out...."
The light dawned. I could finally see what was eating
at Aahz. I should have known there was money at the
bottom of this.
"But Aahz," I chimed in, "our fees are overpriced.
I've been saying that for months. I mean, it's not like we
need the money...."
". .. and I've been telling you for months that it's the
only way to keep the riff-raff from draining away all
your practice time," he shot back angrily. "Remember,
your name's supposed to be the Great Skeeve, not the
Red Cross. You don't do charity."
Now we were on familiar ground. Unlike the disguise
thing, this was one argument I never tired of.
"I'm not talking about charity," I said. "I'm talking
about a fair fee for services rendered."
"Fair fee?" my partner laughed, rolling his eyes.
"You mean like that deal you cut with Watzisname?
Did he ever tell you about that one, Tananda? We catch
a silly bird for this Deveel, see, and my partner charges
him a flat fee. Not a percentage, mind you, a flat fee.
And how much of a flat fee? A hundred gold pieces? A
thousand. No. TEN. Ten lousy gold pieces. And half an
hour later the Deveel sells his 'poor little bird' for over a
hundred thousand. Nice to know we don't do charity,
isn't it?"
"C'mon, Aahz," I argued, writhing inside. "That
was only five minutes' work. How was I supposed to
know the silly bird was on the endangered species list?
Even .you thought it was a good deal until we heard what
the final sale was. Besides, if I had held out for a per-
centage and the Deveel had been legit and never sold the
thing, we wouldn't have even gotten ten gold pieces out
of it."
"I never heard the details from your side," Tananda
said, "but what I picked up on the streets was that
everybody at the Bazaar was really impressed. Most
folks think that it's a master-stroke of PR for the hot-
test magician at the Bazaar to help bring a rarity to the
public for a mere fraction of his normal fees. It shows
he's something other than a cold-hearted businessman
... that he really cares about people."
"So what's wrong with being a cold-hearted busi-
nessman?" Aahz snorted. "How about the other guy?
Everybody thinks he's a villain, and he's crying all the
way to the bank. He retired on the profit from that one
sale alone."
132
Robert Asprin MYTH-ING PERSONS 133
"Unless Nanny misled me horribly when she taught
me my numbers," Chumley interrupted, "I figure your
current bankroll could eat that fellow's profit and still
have room for lunch. Any reason you're so big on squir-
reling away so much gold, Aahz? Are you planning on
retiring?"
"No, I'm not planning on retiring," my partner
snapped. "And you're missing the point completely.
Money isn't the object."
"It isn't?"
I think everybody grabbed that line at the same time
... even Pepe, who hadn't known Aahz all that long.
"Of course not. You can always get more gold. What
can't be replaced is time. We all know Skeeve here has a
long way to go in the magic department. What the rest
of you keep forgetting is how short a life span he has to
play with... maybe a hundred years if he's lucky. All
I'm trying to do is get him the maximum learning time
possible... and that means keeping him from using up
mos,t of his time on nickel-and-dime adventures. Let the
smalltime operators do those. My partner shouldn't
have to budge away from his studies unless the assign-
ment is something really spectacular. Something that
will advance his reputation and his career."
There was a long silence while everybody digested
that one, especially me. Since Aahz had accepted me as
a full partner instead of an apprentice, I tended to for-
get his role as my teacher and career manager. Thinking
back now, I could see he had never really given up the
work, just gotten sneakier. I wouldn't have believed
that was possible.
"How about this particular nickel-and-dime adven-
ture?" Tananda said, breaking the silence. "You know,
pulling your tail out of a scrape? Isn't this a little low-
brow for the kind of legend you're trying to build?"
The sarcasm in her voice was unmistakable, but it
didn't phase Aahz in the least.
"If you'll ask around, you'll find out that I didn't
want him along on this jaunt at all. In fact, I knocked
him cold trying to keep him out. A top-flight magician
shouldn't have to stoop to bill collecting, especially
when the risk is disproportionately high."
"Well, it all sounds a little cold-blooded for my taste,
Aahz," Chumley put in. "If you extend your logic, our
young friend here is only going to work when the danger
is astronomically high, and conversely if the advance-
ment to his career is enough, no risk is too great. That
sounds to me like a sure-fire way to lose a partner and a
friend. Like the Geek says, if you keep bucking the
odds, sooner or later they're going to catch up with
you."
My partner spun to confront the troll nose-to-nose.
"Of course it's going to be dangerous," he snarled.
"The magic profession isn't for the faint of heart, and
to hit the top he's going to have to be hair-triggered and
mean. There's no avoiding that, but I can try to be sure
he's ready for it. Why do you think I've been so dead-
set against him having bodyguards? If he starts relying
on other people to watch out for him, he's going to lose
the edge himself. That's when he's in danger of walking
into a swinging door."
That brought Guido into the fray.
"Now let me see if I've got this right," my bodyguard
said. "You don't want me and my cousin Nunzio
around so that the Boss here can handle all the trouble
himself? That's crazy talk, know what I mean? Now