"You, a little less crude?" Ed laughed. "Since when?"
After lunch, the afternoon progressed, I saw Cassie in last period with not much said, and then I went to the ball field for our game.
I was sitting in the locker room talking with Lily. She was getting dressed-I didn’t have to. Lily’s not like most pitchers. Most pitchers-me included-go into a private little "zone" before they pitched. Lily didn’t-in fact, she found that counterproductive for her. She liked to talk.
"What’s going on with you and Cassie?" she asked.
"Now that, Pedro, is one hell of a question." Pedro was her ‘baseball’ nickname-after her idol, Pedro Martinez, the great pitcher for the Boston Red Sox.
"I know about what happened yesterday," she said, "and I also had a little talk with her."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I warned her to be careful not to break your poor over-romantic heart," she grinned.
"Well, I gave her quite the opening to do just that." I told Lily what I had said to Cassie in Mr. Tilling’s office.
"Well, jeez, Frankie, that’s an invitation if I ever heard one."
"Yeah. It was what happened in art that was really weird." I described the poses, and how she was looking at me.
"You sure you didn’t misinterpret that?" she asked.
"Well, if I did-so did Natalie. You should’ve seen her drawings."
"Oh, well, then. If Natalie Weinberg sees it, and draws it, then it’s there," she said. I nodded agreement. "But was it lust-or something else?"
"That’s another fine question."
"Maybe you ought to find out."
"And maybe I should just let sleeping dogs lie before I fuck up another friendship," I said.
"Friendships are fine. Love’s better."
"Easy for you to say, Pedro," I told her. "You met Mikey on a Monday, you’re fucking like bunnies on Wednesday, and you’re proclaiming everlasting love on Friday. I’ve known this girl for six years!"
"Have you ever felt anything more than friendship for her?" she asked.
"Yes. No. I don’t know." I sighed. "Look, we met when we were, what, ten? Like usually happens, she matured faster than I did, and started dating before I did. Once I realized what this mysterious thing called ‘girls’ was, and decided that I liked ‘em, Cass had already had a few boyfriends. And they were so unlike me that I didn’t think I’d ever be on her radar screen. I’m not her type. So any feelings other than friendship were killed before they ever happened. I love her, I’ll say that-but it’s platonic. She never gave me a reason, based on her usual boyfriend choices, to entertain the possibility of anything different."
"People change," she said simply.
"That much? Come on."
She laughed. "Frankie, if you’d like, I’ll take you up to Boston and introduce you to some of the complete weenies I spent three years dating, and sleeping with. It wasn’t until I met Mikey that I decided to wake up and smell the pine tar."
"Well, yeah. You met Mikey. What would’ve happened if you had already known him-as friends-for six years?"
"I think it still would’ve happened," she maintained. "I was not ready for Mikey before this-however, I don’t think I would’ve been stupid enough to pass it up just because I had already known him. In fact, it might have happened earlier." She looked at me. "Has Cassie had a disaster relationship?"
"Yeah. Nick, her boyfriend most of last year. He was a complete asshole-to the point where he found out about her scars and made her hide them when they were in bed. And the jerk she was dating that just broke up with her didn’t help-though that one barely got started."
"Let me tell you something," she said. "I had one last year, sophomore school year, I mean. We went out all winter, but he freaked when he saw me in full baseball gear-and broke up with me. Being a bit of a butch, and playing baseball, isn’t the same thing as scars-but it’s similar in that it’s something that will turn people off. And who it turns off is the wrong people. My ex was an asshole, just like Nick was to Cassie. A girl can only be blind for so long. I got my slap in the face. Maybe Cassie did, too."
I couldn’t say anything after that, because Coach came in to talk to us.
Luckily, baseball was my refuge. I didn’t have to think about anything else for a couple of hours. That was easier when I was pitching, of course, but I did have to stay alert in center field. Especially when I had to dive after a rocket that some guy hit. Lily didn’t give up too many rockets, but she gave one up today. I dove for it. In the nude. Not quite the same as sliding into home-grass is more forgiving than dirt and sand-but not an experience I’d care to repeat.
"Lose the rockets to right-center, would you please?" I teased Lily on the way into the dugout.
"Sorry," she giggled.
"Grass stains on your boobies, dirt on your dick," Ty sang.
"Boobies? I’ve got the world’s first boobies that are concave," I laughed.
"You need to grow some man tits," Ty said.
"Sure. Can I borrow some of your steroids, musclehead?"
Like I said, Ty and I get on each other all day long.
Anyhow, the game progressed fine, we were winning. When I came off the field in the middle of the seventh, Lily was waiting for me on the third base line.
"Hey, Frankie, don’t look now, but Cassie just showed up."
"Really?"
"Yeah. She’s sitting with Jared and Amanda." I looked up, and she waved. Hmmm. She didn’t come to too many ball games.
It’s such a cliche, I know. It really is. But I was up third that inning, and Ty and Ed both got on base-and I hit a three-run homer. My first dinger of the season. I just had to laugh. Especially since Lily teased me about it. "Frankie gets inspiration!" and all that. Well, Cassie was going nuts in the stands after I hit it-that was cool.
The game finished, we won, I waved to her, she waved back, and I went into the locker room. Heard the coach speak, took my shower, went back out to the field. There she was, still sitting there, still naked.
"Hi," I said as I walked up to her.
"Hi. Walk me home."
OK, I thought to myself. I started to put on my clothes.
"No. Stay the way you are. I am, too."
"Huh?" I said. "Weren’t you the one that wanted to put your clothes back on in school this morning?"
"I changed my mind. Look, I don’t feel self-conscious around you."
"Yeah, but you’re going to be parading naked for a half-mile to your house."
"That doesn’t matter," she said. "Let’s go." She got out of the stands and started walking to the exit. I shrugged and followed.
We walked, pretty much in silence, to her house. Something was going on, but I didn’t know what. When we got to her house-which was before mine walking from school-before I could say a word, she grabbed me and pulled me to her door.
"Cass, where are we going?"
"In my house."
"Like this?" I said, looking down at our nudity.
"Nobody’s home. Come on." I did. We went in, and she didn’t even stop-she dropped her bookbag and clothes, and just steered me up the stairs to her room.
When we got there, I said, "Cassie. What the hell is going on?"
She turned to me, and looked right at me, and said, "This morning, you told me you wanted to fuck my brains out." She took a breath. "Do it!"
Every rational thought drained right out of my head. And all I could think to say was, "WHAT?"
"You heard me," she hissed. "Damn, Frankie, please don’t make me beg!"
I had never seen her look like that. I had never seen any girl look like that-certainly not at me. Fire was coming out of her eyes, and she was practically shaking.
I knew I was going to regret this. I knew it, I knew it. But that was my rational thoughts-and those were just a dull roar at this point. God, I wanted her-and she wanted me.