Naked In School

And, yep, it looked like the whole school was there. I’ll give Cassie credit. She took the high road. She and her new group of friends didn’t say a word. They were just about the only ones that didn’t.

You know, you’d think people could come up with some original ones, once in a while. I mean, Christ. Beached whale? Lard-ass? Thunder thighs? Is there anyone under the impression that I’ve never heard any of these, or something? Nothing new.

OK, I take it back. People grabbing at my boobs like they wanted to tear them off-that was new. I had hand-prints on ‘em by the time I got to class.

It looked like the humiliation had just begun. Somebody is gonna pay for this!!

CHAPTER TWO DAVID

Wasn’t getting stuck in The Program bad enough? I didn’t want to do it. I was too shy for this. My Mom had insisted on putting me in-claiming it would help me ‘get over my shyness’ or some other bullshit. Of course, the fact that such had worked for my best friend, Jared Wicklow, earlier in the year didn’t help my arguments any. But Jared fell in love, and he has a massive dick, which made him very popular Program week. I do not have anything that impressive between the legs. And falling in love? I have trouble talking to Amanda, who’s my best friend’s girlfriend-or Cassie Vyshenko, who I’ve been in band with for three years. In other words, I can’t even talk to girls that I considered friends. Fall in love? Yeah, right.

I always figured I’d work my way up to being able to say "hello" without stuttering sometime in my junior year in college.

So, anyhow, I wasn’t thrilled about this whole Program thing right from the get-go. And then I found out who my partner was. Missy Jenkins, the school bitch.

Look, she and her erstwhile sidekick, Laura Elliot-who seemed to have disappeared-have always been the school bitches. But what they did to Cassie, who was supposed to be their best friend, during her Program week last week-well, that took the cake. Cassie, despite the fact that I don’t talk to her easily, is a friend. She’s never been anything but nice to me. Plus, she’s a damn good flute player. I can appreciate musicianship.

And Mr. Tilling wants me to support this bitch that badly hurt a friend of mine? I don’t think so. No way. Of course, that meant that I wasn’t going to be getting any support.

Well, of course, not "partner" type support. If I thought I wasn’t going to be getting any support whatsoever-well, I underestimated Jared, and his friends.

They were all there when I came out of the office. Jared greeted me with, "Welcome to the club, pal." His crazy friend Ed Bauer hooted and hollered. Amanda gave me a hug-boy did that make me blush. And I really blushed when Cassie said, "Looking good, Big Man."

No, Big Man wasn’t a reference to my anatomy. I play two instruments in the school band. Trumpet, and saxophone. Jared, a big Bruce Springsteen fan, years ago started calling me "Big Man" after Clarence "Big Man" Clemons, Bruce’s sax player. It stuck. Although Cassie calling me that when I was naked was a nice little touch on her part, even if it was untrue!

"So, where’s your partner?" Jared asked.

"I couldn’t care less," I spat out. They all looked at me. "Missy Jenkins."

"Oh, shit," Amanda said.

"Oh, shit is right," I agreed. "I’m going to be coming to you guys for support, because I sure won’t be getting any from her."

"We’re here, pal," Jared said.

Just then, Missy came out of the office. I heard all the hooting and hollering. Cassie, good person that she is, told us all, "Don’t say a word. I know what it’s like. I’m not playing the one-upsmanship game and I’d prefer if none of my friends do it, either."

We watched for a bit, and Jared said, "It looks like she’s getting enough without us joining in, anyway."

I looked for a while, and said, "What’s all this fat stuff? She’s not that fat."

"She’s not thin, either, though," Amanda said, "and it’s an easy thing to zero in on. I’ve gotten it once or twice."

"You?" I said incredulously. "Fat?"

"Again, I’m not thin. You know, I’m not Maggie."

"Yeah, you have boobs. And an ass," Maggie interjected.

"She’s right about one thing, though," Ed Bauer put in. "You’re the one, Maggie, who has the bodytype that shows up on magazine covers and fashion runways."

"That’s right," Maggie laughed. "Did you ever hear the old David Spade joke? He said that he wished we could get more heterosexual fashion designers, so we’d get some fashion models that don’t look like boys!"

"Oooh, that’s nasty," Ed laughed.

"Nasty with a hint of truth," Maggie giggled. "I know very few straight guys that would prefer my bodytype to Amanda’s. I do look like a boy."

"Oh yeah?" Ed asked. "Then why has half the junior class eagerly gone to bed with you?"

"Because I don’t fuck like a boy," Maggie laughed. "When I’m squeezing those cunny muscles like a vice grip around their dicks, they tend to forget that I have no hips and can barely fill an A-cup."

"That was more than I needed to know," I said with a blush.

"Well, Dave," Maggie grinned, "you’re welcome to take the merchandise for a test drive. Get your Program week started off on the right track, and all that."

Oh, Jesus! "Um…er…well…" was all I managed to get out.

"You’re shy. I like that in a guy," Maggie grinned.

Thank goodness the bell for first period rang just then!

"The offer’s open," Maggie giggled, as she headed off to class. Oh, Lord.

I walked to my first class, History. The only person out of Jared’s crowd in my class was Natalie Weinberg, Ed’s girlfriend, who I didn’t know well.

"Hey, Dave," she said as we walked. "The Program was very difficult for me at first, so I know what you’re going through, OK? You need any help, don’t hesitate to ask."

"Thanks," I said gratefully.

"Maggie got you good, didn’t she?" Natalie laughed.

"Uhm, well, its, you know…" Stutter, stutter, stutter. "Maggie’s a nice person, and all, but, well, I’m still, you know…"

"You’re a virgin, right?" Natalie smiled. I nodded, blushing. "And you want your first time to be special." I nodded again. "That’s admirable. For reasons beyond my control, my first time sucked. I didn’t get it right until my fourth time, which was Ed. Wanting it to be special is a good instinct on your part." She grinned. "Although, I need to warn you, you will get horny this week. And, look, I know enough guys that have been to bed with Maggie-she will show you a good time. It’s a strange week. Keep your options open."

"That’s good advice," I said. We got to class then.

Going to my next period, that’s when I started getting grabbed. I guess the presence of Missy right outside the office with me had distracted everyone before first period, but she was nowhere around when I emerged from class. And I got grabbed. It was embarrassing. It was also-well-you know-I got horny.

Jesus.

I knew about the concept of relief. I wasn’t gonna be asking for it! No way. Of course, a strange little voice in the back of my head was saying, "Now what classes do I have with Maggie Benson?"

Uh-huh. No way.

My second period class was English-the first class out of three that I shared with Missy. I beat her to class, and I made the mistake of looking up when she walked in. She did not look good at all. People were even shouting things at her as she made her way into class, before the teacher walked in. She looked like she was going through hell.

Good, I said to myself. That’s what she put Cassie through. I wasn’t going to get sympathetic about this girl.

My next class was gym. In the girl’s locker room. Oh my Jesus. I couldn’t talk to girls one at a time! And here they were, a whole locker room of them! And, after gym, a whole shower full of them! All naked, and me naked! Oh, I wanted to crawl down the shower drain.