We walked away from the woman, who was staring back at us open-mouthed. Amber-in a nice display of guts-kissed Tiffany on the cheek, then came with us.
"I think I really got Tiff in trouble," Amber said dejectedly.
"That’s not your fault, and it’s not Tiffany’s," Mike said. "Tiffany’s mother is the one with the problem, not either of you. Understand me?"
"Yeah," she smiled at him. "Thanks."
"Yeah, she understands," Ed said. "Who’s going to tell Tiffany? The poor kid. ‘Oh no, my baby girl might be a lesbian! Let’s kill her now!’ It disgusts me."
"I don’t think Tiffany’s a lesbian," Amber said.
"What makes you think that?" I asked.
She giggled, and blushed. "Because she kept saying how she much she wanted to go grab Jared’s weenie!"
"Oh, Jesus," Jared said.
"Jared’s Weenie," Ed said. "A beacon in the night, brining all the girls through the fog to its magnificence."
"Yeah, fine, but you try being the guardian at the gate!" Amanda laughed.
"Could we have enough about my ‘weenie’, please?" Jared said in mock-exasperation.
"Well, it is really big," Amber pointed out in a completely serious tone of voice. Even Jared couldn’t help crack up at that.
We spent another hour or so at the carnival. Amber was down in the dumps a bit at first, but Ed got her to laugh. Except for Tiffany’s horrible mother, it was a great time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT MIKEWhen we left, we just grabbed our clothes and headed for the car.
"Aren’t you guys going to get dressed?" Amber asked us.
"Nah," Lily said. "You can, though." Amber looked at us, shrugged her shoulders, grabbed her clothes, and followed us.
"You liked it, didn’t you?" Lily asked her.
"Yeah," she admitted. "It feels very, I don’t know, free. And I like the wind blowing on-you know," she blushed.
"I can tell," Lily said. Then she whispered to me, "She might not have much in the way of boobs yet, but what she does have are erect as all get-out." I had to stifle the laughter because Amber was looking at all this whispering mighty suspiciously.
Anyhow, we got in the car. I was still a bit upset. "I apologize for losing my temper," I said.
"With Tiffany’s Mom? I’m glad you did it," Amber said.
"Me, too," Lily said.
"Tiffany always tells me what a witch she is," Amber continued. "She’ll probably make Tiffany stop being friends with me, though."
"Probably," Lily said. "I’m sorry about that."
"Ah, well. Tiffany knows how to sneak," she giggled.
We laughed at that, as we pulled up in front of Lily’s house.
"Should I put my clothes on?" Amber asked.
"No," Lily said. We walked to the front door. "Just wait here." We walked in, and Lily’s parents greeted us. "Where’s Amber?" her mom asked.
"Hold on a second," Lily told them. "I want you to know that this was not anyone’s idea except Amber’s-but I did tell her it was OK." Her Mom looked at her with a question. "OK, Amber, you can come in now!" In she walked, stark naked, blushing up a storm, and looking at her parents hopefully.
"Did you go to the carnival like that?" her Mom asked. Amber shyly nodded. "That was very brave!" she told her.
"I liked it," Amber said. "It was fun. All of us were naked except Ed." Her parents looked at us questioningly.
"We were with our friends Jared and Amanda, who went through The Program in September, and who now get naked for the hell of it." Her parents laughed at that. "I think that’s what pushed Amber over, watching all four of us undress at the entrance. Ed hasn’t been through the program yet so doesn’t know what the fuss is about. Ed’s my best friend-he plays third base on the team."
"Oh, he’s the one that caught the final out for you," Lily’s dad said.
"Exactly," Lily replied.
"He won me this teddy bear!" Amber said excitedly. "And he bought me cotton candy, and took me on the rides, and everything! He’s really neat!" She grinned at her parents. "I’m gonna go to my room and find a place for the teddy bear," and she was off.
"Ed’s your age?" Lily’s dad asked, a bit suspiciously.
"Yes, he is," I told him.
"I don’t know if I like that. It seemed like he was showing quite a bit of attention to a little girl. A naked little girl. Oh, I know she’s not that little, but she’s little to him," Lily’s Dad said.
"That’s Ed," I smiled. "Protector of the helpless, healer of the wounded, and the guy who shows little girls a good time at carnivals. He made her day, Mr. Woodard-and deliberately."
"She’s got a crush on him," Mr. Woodard pointed out. "And I know what she saw this morning, so she’s also got ideas."
"He knows that," Lily grinned. "Besides which, she’s got a crush on Mikey, too."
"True," her mom smiled.
"Look, what do you folks think of me?" I asked.
"Well, we think you’re great," Lily’s mom said. "Absolutely," her Dad agreed.
"Do you think I’m trustworthy?"
"From what we’ve seen, yes," Mrs. Woodard said. "Lily trusts you a lot, which counts a lot with us."
"Good," I said. "Then, let me tell you something-I’d trust Ed Bauer with my life. He’s that loyal. Of all the people in the world that you’d want escorting Amber around a carnival when she’s stark naked, he’s at the top of the list. If I didn’t know that, I’d never have let it happen. "
"I don’t know Ed as well as Mike does," Lily said, "but I know him well enough. We told Ed what Amber had seen today, and that she had a crush on him, and might be getting ideas. You know what he said? Fine. I’m safe, I don’t hurt little girls, let her fantasize."
"You won’t find a finer human being than Ed Bauer," I concluded. "And if you don’t believe me, call my Mom. She’s known Ed since he was 8. As far as she’s concerned, Ed’s her second son."
"OK," Mr. Woodard smiled. "You convinced us. And what he said about Amber fantasizing was very mature and classy."
"She had a blast with him," Lily said. "He made her feel special. Which was important after the other thing that happened. Which I have to warn you about." She took a deep breath. "Be prepared for a very nasty phone call from Tiffany’s mother."
"Why?" her Mom asked. Lily and I explained, told them the whole story.
"Oh, Jesus," her Dad said.
"I apologize for losing my temper," I told them. "I think that didn’t help much."
"Losing your temper?" Mrs. Woodard said. "I would’ve slugged her. And I’m not the child of a lesbian. Poor Tiffany."
"Got that right," I agreed. "Thank you for saying that, I do feel a bit guilty. That woman’s not going to let her precious little baby go anywhere near Amber anymore, and I feel bad about that."
"I think she would’ve done that if you hadn’t said a word," Mr. Woodard said. "Just seeing you all there naked set her off."
Amber came back downstairs, then-still not wearing anything, in fact she had taken her shoes and socks off so was now completely naked.
"Amber," her Mom asked, "are you going to get dressed?"
"Uh, do you want me to?"
"Completely up to you."
"Well, then, no. I like being like this."
"We have a family of nudists," Mr. Woodard laughed.
"I just like how I feel," she said. She came over to the couch and managed to worm her way between me and Lily. We just laughed and let her. "Mike?" she asked me. "Does Ed have a girlfriend?"
Whoops, I thought to myself-how am I gonna handle this one? "No, Amber, he doesn’t."
"That’s too bad. He’s very nice. Anyone that nice should have a girlfriend." I was waiting for it, trying to come up with a response-and the little bugger surprised me. "I can’t be his girlfriend, I’m too little. So you two, you have to find Ed a girlfriend."