"Oh," he said.
"Mr. Tilling, she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown."
"I know," he said simply.
"You know? And you let her go into The Program?" I was incredulous.
"I didn’t have a choice. You know how parental consent for The Program works. Her mother demanded she be placed."
"I have a strong suspicion that her mother is a big part of the problem," I told him.
"Yes, so do I. Ed, some of us know who Sharon Weinberg is. She works at Doc’s. You know what Doc’s is?"
"Yeah, it’s a bar," I told him. "I don’t drink, but I know some guys that have gone to Doc’s. They’re notorious for not checking ID’s all that closely. The place is a real dive, though, from what I hear."
"Yes, it is. And it attracts the kind of guys who you’d expect to be hanging out at a dive. And it’s common knowledge that Sharon Weinberg isn’t averse to taking those guys home."
"Oh, Jesus," I said.
"Rumor has it that you can buy your way into her bed. I don’t know how true that is, but that’s the rumor."
"Oh, Christ," I said, "And this is Natalie’s mother?"
"Yeah. We had her investigated by social services, but nothing came of it. Natalie, apparently, clammed up. Look, let me tell you something about Natalie Weinberg. Do you know where she’s ranked in your class?" he asked.
"Yeah, seventh, she told me yesterday."
"Ed, the girl is gifted. She could probably be in contention for valedictorian if she had any kind of support from home. You know how gifted Lily Woodard is on the baseball mound-well, Natalie’s that gifted in the classroom. But she has no friends, no support system, no nothing. She’s completely closed off from everything. We don’t completely know what her home life is like, but we strongly suspect it’s not good. Quite frankly, we-that’s me and her teachers and all-are afraid we’re going to lose her."
"Yeah, I see what you mean," I told him.
"I can’t do anything about her being in The Program. I had to put her in. But, I’m going to tell you something-we, Ms. T and I, deliberately chose you to partner her. We don’t usually do that, but Natalie needs help. She needs a friend. And a lot of us remember what you did for Annie Zipelski."
I was dumbfounded. Absolutely dumbfounded. "You what?"
"We all know that you can’t turn your back on someone in need. You got Annie out of hell-some of us know about that."
I took a deep breath. "This is not fair."
"What?" he asked.
"You say you know what I did for Annie. Do you know what that cost me? The only girl I have ever loved, and I lost her." I laughed mirthlessly. "I didn’t get Annie out of the hell she was living in because I’m a fucking good Samaritan, I did it because I loved her. She was my girlfriend, for crying out loud! And now you’ve stuck me in a position where you expect me to rescue someone that, a day ago, I didn’t even know. And as an added bonus, you’ve dredged up all of those memories of Annie-memories I try to bury. Memories of Annie accepting my help, showering me with gratitude, and then walkingaway. Forever." I sighed. "Mr. Tilling, I am no saint. There is a part of me-a part I deny, a part I’m ashamed of, but it exists. And that part wishes I’d never gotten involved in Annie’s home life, that I’d left things as they were. She might have not left me."
"And she might be hopelessly screwed up, or even dead," he said.
"I know that! I said it was the evil part of me." I took a breath. "And now you want me to do it again. And I’m stuck, because you’re right-I can’t turn away from someone in trouble. And since you’ve so thoughtfully forced me to support a person in trouble, I’m stuck." I sighed. "You know what’s worse? I like Natalie. We had a nice talk at lunch yesterday. She’s a good kid, and we have a whole mess of stuff in common, surprisingly enough. I could really like her, I think. And now I can’t, because I refuse to get emotionally involved with another wounded bird. I can’t go through that again."
"Ed, I’m sorry," Mr. Tilling said. "I didn’t realize how much this was going to affect you."
"I can’t even come up with a joke. I’m looking at this situation you’ve put me into, and I can’t even come up with a joke. Me, Ed Bauer, at a loss for humor. How pathetic is that?" I turned away from his desk and abruptly walked out of his office.
Damn. Damn him all to hell.
I wanted to kill him. I wanted to wring his neck. How dare they do this to me? Girl in trouble, we can’t handle it-let’s call in Ed The Girlsaver to the rescue! After all, he saved Annie Zipelski’s life, right?
Almost fucking took his own afterwards-but we’ll just ignore that part. Damn them.
Walking through the halls, I calmed down. I did vow to myself, just this morning, that I was going to try to help this girl get through the week, didn’t I? I guess being set up by Mr. Tilling didn’t change that. It just made it more difficult, knowing that.
I had missed all of third period, and trudged into fourth, which was English. I got a wave from Lily, who shared that class with me.
That’s when I got an idea.
I didn’t have to do this by myself.
Natalie, I discovered yesterday, badly needed a friend. Friend is fine, friends-plural-is better, right? And who had a better bunch of friends than me?
So, on the way into the lunchroom, I rounded them all up, and asked for a favor. They all quickly and happily agreed. Like I said-nobody’s got a better bunch of friends than me.
CHAPTER SIX NATALIEIf it weren’t for my desperate hope for a college scholarship, I wouldn’t have come in today. Or I would’ve walked out. But I wouldn’t be here. I can’t do this.
I made it to lunch, don’t ask me how. Dropped myself into my out-of-the-way chair. And here came Ed. Man, he really was trying, I’ll give him that. It was sweet, actually. I know he was only doing this because he had to-and because he’s a nice guy-but I would’ve given up on me long before this. He saw me in accounting, and I couldn’t even look at him.
But here he came. "Hey," he said, sitting down across from me. "Want some company?"
"Yeah," I admitted.
"Good, cause here it comes." Suddenly there were a pile of people sitting down at the table! Oh, shit, I couldn’t deal with this.
"So, this is where you’ve been hiding," someone said, sitting down next to him. "Give me a french fry," as he stole one from Ed’s plate. I realized it was Mike Kirkland, Ed’s best friend.
"Hi," a beautiful redhead said as she sat next to me. "You must be Natalie. I’m Amanda Frazier."
"Hey, I’m Lily Woodard," the brunette sitting on the other side of me said.
"That stud across from me is Jared Wicklow, my boyfriend," Amanda went on. "The guy on the other side of Ed is Mike Kirkland, Lily’s boyfriend."
"That’s my identity now. Lily’s boyfriend," Mike joked.
"The guy next to Mike is Frankie Gutierrez," Ed said. "And across from Frankie is the world famous Maggie Benson."
"No autographs, please," Maggie quipped.
"We know Ed’s sitting here to help you through The Program," Amanda was saying to me, "but lunch is no fun without Ed, so we thought we’d join you."
"Nothing’s no fun without Ed," said Ed.
"Hey, speaking of fun with Ed, I finished two verses," Lily said.
"Of what?" Ed asked her.
She grinned at him impishly and started singing:
"What’s between Ed’s legs is frightful
It’s no bigger than just a mitefull
And the girls just don’t want to know
So make it grow, make it grow, make it grow!
Yeah, the thing that Ed’s got hangin’
Is a bit too small for bangin’
You’d do better with his left big toe
So make it grow, make it grow, make it grow!"