“Hello, Drew,” Cindy said when she reached him, with a calmness that surprised her. “How are you feeling?”
“Stabbed,” he said shortly, and she smiled thinly.
“I see that. I like your sling. It gives you a decidedly piratical air.”
“You mean more than usual?” he responded, and then added, “How did you find me?”
“I went to your place and your cleaning lady told me where you were. Does your doctor know you’re out here doing this?”
“My doctor doesn’t know a stethoscope from a stapler.”
He obviously wasn’t going to make this easy for her, so she decided to get it over with as quickly as possible. “I came to return this to you,” she said flatly, and extended the box toward him.
He looked at it, then at her, making no move to take it. She bent and set it on the ground.
He watched her, rubbing his cheek with the back of his uninjured arm, the gun dangling loosely from his fingers.
Cindy shuddered. “Would you mind not waving that thing in my face?” she said sharply. “I hate guns.”
Fox tucked it into the waistband of his pants. “So do I, but I find it necessary to be proficient with them in my line of work.” He waited a couple of beats and then said, “Why don’t you want the dress?”
“I prefer memories over material things,” she said simply, and she saw the impact of her statement hit him.
“Are you all right?” he asked tightly.
“I am, although you would have no way of knowing it.”
His eyes flashed. “I was in touch with that Dr. Markel the whole time you were in the hospital!” he said angrily. “Right up until the minute you were discharged.”
“Why wouldn’t you see me while you were there?” she flared back at him.
He looked away from her. “I thought it best to leave you alone. You were hurt twice because of me; I’m obviously not good for your health.”
“I see. And it never occurred to you that I might be worried about you, that I might want to see for myself that you were okay?”
He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I’m sorry, Cindy. I’m sorry about all of it.”
“All of it?” she asked, emphasizing the first word.
He knew exactly what she meant. “All of it,” he repeated. “Getting involved with me was a mistake. Next time you might not be so lucky. Next time you might wind up in the morgue.”
His voice was so cold, so distant, that it was hard for her to believe this was the same man who had made such passionate love to her only a few days before.
“All right, Drew,” Cindy said. “I can’t say I’m surprised. This is precisely the reaction I thought I would get from you. I know you very well, I find. I can predict your moods like the rising of the sun.”
He looked at her then, his light eyes measuring, wondering whether she would make a scene.
“I’m going,” she announced. “But before I do I want to say something to you, and I want you to listen.”
He didn’t move, and his expression didn’t change.
“I’m sure you’ve convinced yourself that you have the noblest of motives in sending me away. You can tell yourself that you’re protecting me, and you may actually believe that. You can tell yourself that it’s because of your parents and believe that’s valid too. But the truth is you’re scared.”
He straightened slightly, and his lips parted.
“I’ve gotten to you, haven’t I, and that frightens you. Everybody told me how you acted when you thought I was really hurt, and that behavior doesn’t lie. You care about me, and you were wild when you thought something bad had happened to me. Now that you know I’m okay you’re pulling back from that and running in the other direction.”
He lifted one shoulder slightly. “You can think that if it makes you feel better,” he said evenly.
She shook her head. “Such a tough guy. You forget who you’re talking to, Drew. I know you, remember?”
“You don’t know anything about me,” he replied.
“Don’t I? You dashed back here to your childhood hangout to play with your little gun because it was easier than facing the feelings you have for me. Physically, you’re ready to take on anything and anybody, but emotional intimacy terrifies you.”
He didn’t answer, his jaw clenched so tightly that the little muscles along its edge were jumping wildly.
Cindy sighed with resignation. “I’ve tried, Drew. I can’t try any more. I love you, but I have had enough. Goodbye.”
She turned her back and walked toward the trees.
He made no attempt to follow her.
Chapter 9
Five days later Cindy was in the guest room packing to go home when Paula knocked on her door.
“Come in,” Cindy called.
Paula entered, still in uniform, unpinning her hair from its severe workday style. “I saw your foxy friend this afternoon,” she announced without preliminary.
Cindy looked up from folding a sweater into the suitcase set out on the bed.
“He stopped by the outpatient clinic for a checkup on his arm,” Paula said. “I ran into him in the hall.”
“Is he all right?” Cindy asked.
“He’s fine, Cindy. Stop worrying. It’ll take a silver bullet to finish him.”
“You’re not amusing me, Paula,” Cindy said. She tucked a set of underwear into the liner pocket. “I hope you behaved yourself.” She shot Paula a measuring glance.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Paula said. “I was civil to him.” She folded her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. “He asked me when you were going back to Pennsylvania.”
“Did you tell him?”
“You bet I did. I wanted to make it clear that you would be on your way very soon.”
“Trying to get rid of me?” Cindy asked, with a faint smile.
Paula snorted. “If only that were your problem. Are you going to get over this, or what?”
“I have to, don’t I? There’s little choice involved.”
“That louse,” Paula said bitterly. “I could kill him.”
Cindy shook her head wearily. “It’s not his fault, Paula. I knew what he was like when I started with him; he never misled me. And despite everything, it was worth it.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Yes, I do. When it was good, it was wonderful, and I wouldn’t have missed that for anything. I just took a gamble and lost. That happens, doesn’t it?”
“It happens all the time to me,” Paula answered sadly.
“It will be easier for me once I’m back at work,” Cindy said with assurance. “I have nothing to do here now that the research is finished. Once I’m teaching those undergraduates, listening to their problems and trying to untangle their schedules, I’ll be able to forget.”
“Do you really think so?” Paula asked doubtfully.
Cindy sighed. “No, Paula, but I’m trying to be brave and you’re not helping me,” she said, irritated.
Paula bit her lip and they both laughed.
“Well, at least you haven’t lost your sense of humor,” Paula observed.
“The last refuge of the brokenhearted,” Cindy said.
“You love him very much, don’t you?”
“I think I always will. But I can’t change what’s happened; I have to live with it.” She pointed to a pair of slacks hanging on the back of the door. “Hand me those, will you?”
Paula gave them to her and said, “What time is your flight tomorrow?”
“Three-thirty in the afternoon. You’ll be on duty, right? I’ll have to call a cab.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, to go that far it will cost a fortune. I have several people who owe me favors; I’ll switch with one of them. Let me make a few calls.”
“Thanks, Paula. I’m sorry about the timing, but it was the only flight I could get.”
“No problem,” Paula called, walking into the hall where Cindy heard her dialing the phone. Low tones of conversation followed while Cindy finished her packing and snapped the suitcase shut.
“I’m off again,” Paula announced from the doorway. “Have to pull the night shift to clear the day tomorrow.”