“I’m not even going to ask what a catalog room is. Lead on.”
She took him through the office maze and out into the classroom corridor.
As they passed her class, which was filling up, Cindy told him to wait for her.
She went inside and confronted her students, who were groaning when they saw the reading assignment written on the blackboard by the secretary. They quieted when they saw her take her place in front of the podium.
“We thought you wouldn’t be here,” Brian Talbott said. “What’s with the busy work?”
Cindy looked at them for a few moments and then said, “Class dismissed.”
No freshman class ever argues with that. Whooping their delight, they were gone in seconds, brushing past a grinning Fox who greeted her with, “You can handle my classes anytime.”
“That was very irresponsible of me,” she said faintly. “I’ll have to make it up later.”
“Worry about it tomorrow,” he instructed. “Right now we have more important things to consider. Where’s the catalog room?”
Cindy took him there and unlocked the door. Once they were inside he pulled her into his arms and kissed her until she was breathless.
“Wait a minute,” she said, holding him at arm’s length when she finally managed to break away. “You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?” he asked, seeking her mouth with his.
“Making love to avoid facing our problems.”
“I’m here. We have no problems.”
“Yes, we do. Why did you let me come back here, Drew? Why didn’t you do anything about us when I was leaving Florida? Is this just going to be more of the same, seesawing back and forth? We’ll have a great time until you get scared and run off again?”
He released her, his face set. “Boy, did you get tough all of a sudden.”
“That’s what happens when you cry yourself to sleep every night over a man who can’t make up his mind. You get tough.”
He touched her cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, princess. And I have made up my mind. That’s why I’m here.”
“And do you think I’m just going to forget what you put me through as if it never happened?”
He glared at her, his back to the wall. “You love me. You said it in Florida, and you still do. You wouldn’t have slept with me if you didn’t. And I think you always will.”
She shook her head. “Your humility is touching.”
“Are you trying to tell me you don’t?”
“Of course not. You know better. But I’ve been thinking lately that love isn’t everything, Drew. I loved you enough for three people and that still didn’t make it work.”
“That was the problem,” he said, so softly that she almost didn’t hear it.
“What?”
‘‘You loved me too much.”
Cindy put her hands to her temples. “Drew, you’re not making sense.”
“Yes, I am. Listen to me.” He took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. “You were right when you said I was scared. I could see that in such a short time I’d become everything to you. I didn’t know if I could live up to that. You were giving me so much, all you had, and that made me want to run.”
Her eyes filmed with tears. “I don’t understand you, Drew. Most people are afraid they’ll never be loved like that. I’m afraid I’ll never be loved like that.”
He embraced her tightly, rocking her back and forth. “You are,” he murmured. “You are.”
‘‘I wish I could believe that,” she sobbed.
Fox led her to an empty chair and pulled a wad of tissues from his pocket. “I came prepared,” he said, and she had to smile.
He sat on his haunches before her and took her hands. “Princess, I know I’ve given you a very bad time, not because I wanted to but because I couldn’t help it.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been alone all my life. I never trusted anyone except my family, and my job didn’t exactly encourage me to believe the best about people.” He brushed a loose strand of hair back from her forehead. “And then you arrived, with your satchel full of books, your gentleness, and your honor.” He shrugged one shoulder slightly. “I couldn’t resist you. You seemed to be everything fine and noble that was missing from my life.”
“Oh, Drew,” Cindy said, sniffling. “You make me sound like the Statue of Liberty or something.”
“Are you going to listen?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.
“I’m listening.”
“I kept telling myself,” he went on, “that I would see you just one more time and then stop, like you were a drug. But you weren’t. You were something I needed in order to live, something I’d been lacking and then found.”
She didn’t move, her eyes fastened on his face.
“Then when you got hurt and wound up in the hospital it looked like it was my responsibility.”
“Only to you, Drew. I never thought that.”
He shook his head. “Come on, Cindy, that wouldn’t have happened to you if I were an accountant.”
She was silent, unable to dispute him.
“I felt so guilty, like I had...defiled you. All I could think about was the way you looked when I brought you in to the hospital, all white and cold, as limp as a rag doll.” His face changed at the memory and she could see the impact it still had on him. “And Paula screaming at me in the emergency room, ‘This is your fault! You did this to her!’”
“She was upset, Drew. She didn’t know what she was saying.”
“She knew,” he countered quietly. “And she was right.”
“I didn’t blame you.”
“Of course not, you wouldn’t. But I blamed myself. There didn’t seem to be anything to do but to let you go.”
“And I had no say in the matter? That was a decision you had to make all by yourself?”
He turned her hand over in her lap and studied it. “I knew what you would say. You would have stayed with me even if you thought it would happen again. So I handled it.”
“You handled it by returning my love to me like a gift you didn’t wish to open.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, his head bent, and she believed that he was.
She touched his hair, so soft and silky, so unlike the rest of him. “Then why did you come after me, Drew? Has anything changed?”
He didn’t answer for a moment, then said, “Once your thesis is accepted and you get your degree, you’ll be free to go anywhere and look for a job, right?”
“Right.”
He raised his eyes to hers. “What about coming to Florida?”
“To do what?”
“To be my wife,” he answered, clearly afraid that she would refuse him, but determined, as always, to complete his mission.
Cindy bent forward to rest her head on his shoulder. She put her arms around his waist and closed her eyes.
“Is that a yes?” he asked huskily, stroking her back and arms as if to assure himself of her reality.
“I want to marry you, more than anything in the world. But what you just said about your life is still true, and I don’t think I could stand worrying about you every time you went out on a case,” Cindy said.
“I know. That’s why I got a new job.”
Cindy raised her head.
He nodded. “I’ll be running a security agency in Tampa. With the connections I had from working with the police it wasn’t hard to arrange.”
Cindy stared at him, hardly daring to believe it.
“I want you, princess,” he said. “And I’ll do anything I have to do in order to get you.”
“But will you be happy? Tracking has always been your life.”
“I’ll be happy with you. You’ll be my new life.”
She hugged him again, closing her eyes. “What about the differences between us?” she asked. “They seemed to bother you so much.”
“We’ll work them out,” he said in her ear. “It’s not fair to blame you and deny both of us happiness for something my mother did over thirty years ago.”
“Now why didn’t I think of that?” she said, and he chuckled.
“Are you saying I should have listened to you in the first place and avoided all this conflict?” he asked her.