Lee stood on the tiny porch, still dressed in the evening clothes he had worn earlier.
“I’m back,” he said.
“I see.”
“I wasn’t sure if you’d still be up.”
I am.
They stared at one another, illuminated by the yellow glow of the porch light.
“I…may I come in? I need to talk to somebody.” He stopped, and then raised his eyes to hers. “No, that isn’t true. I need to talk to you.”
She stepped aside, and as he walked past her she said, “Are you hungry? I can fix something.”
They were whispering, like two conspirators. “Thanks. I’m afraid I didn’t eat much tonight.”
That makes two of us, Jennifer thought As she reached to shut the door behind them, she caught sight of one of the stars Lee had shown her, twinkling by itself against a velvet background of night sky.
“‘First star on the right, and straight on ‘til morning,’” she said softly.
Lee turned to look back at her. “What?”
Jennifer pointed to the star. “It’s from Peter Pan, the directions to Never Never Land.”
He smiled down at her. “Is that where you want to go?”
Jennifer gazed up at him, as magical, to her at least, as any boy in a children’s tale who was ageless and could fly.
“I think I’m already there.”
Chapter 6
It was hours before Jennifer realized that they still hadn’t eaten, but Lee seemed unaware of it He was more talkative than she had ever seen him, discussing his background more freely than he usually did. He was troubled by his choice to play professional football, which had been made ten years before but apparently still weighed heavily on his mind.
“If I had gone to medical school,” he said thoughtfully, “I’d be just starting now. In this business, I’m on my way out. You can’t stand being beaten up every Sunday for an unlimited amount of time. I think I’m approaching the limit.”
“Why didn’t you go to medical school?” Jennifer asked.
“Because I love to play football,” he answered simply. “And I thought if I could be paid, and paid well, to do what I love to do, then that would be the best life anyone could want.”
Jennifer smiled. “Oh, yes.”
He sighed. “But that was a decision I made a long while ago, when all I could see was money and a good time. Now I wonder if I did the right thing. Any career in sports is a short one. What will I do in a few more seasons when all this is over? My life has been devoted to, as you correctly pointed out to me once, a children’s game. If I’d been a doctor, I could have done some good, gone back to Montana, worked on the reservation, in the schools. I could have done some good,” he repeated. He shook his head. “It’s funny how, the older you get, the less the material things matter, the more important a sense of accomplishment becomes.”
Jennifer studied him, touched to the heart.
“You should feel a sense of accomplishment,” she said. “You’ve risen to the top in a difficult field, in which the competition is fierce. And I don’t agree that you could have done more for your people as a doctor. Then you might have healed them, true, but now you are a symbol of success to American Indians everywhere. Think of the little boys all over the country looking up to you for what they might become. I’m sure you’re an inspiration to them all.”
He swallowed hard, looking down. “I...thank you. I needed to hear that today,” he said huskily.
She reached for his hand, and he gripped her fingers convulsively.
“That dream has never left you, has it?” she said.
He shrugged. “I guess it never has.”
“Then do something about it.”
He looked up at her, astonished. “Like what? I’m thirty-two years old, for Christ’s sake.”
“A great age, to be sure,” Jennifer responded dryly. “I’m certain that some school would take you. You’re famous, Lee. Think of the boost to the reputation of the school. And you told me your grades were good.”
He waved his hand, dismissing the notion. “That was another life. I could never live like a student again. I would have to take entrance exams, compete against kids fresh out of college.”
“I didn’t say it would be easy,” Jennifer said. “Of course, if you’re afraid to try...”
That comment produced the desired result. “That’s not the issue!” Lee said fiercely. “And I wouldn’t want any special privileges, either.”
She blinked at him.
“If I were going to attempt it, which I’m not,” he said pointedly. “And I don’t want to discuss it any further.”
“Certainly, your majesty.”
“Don’t get sarcastic, Jenny. It doesn’t become you.” He changed the subject. “I have to go to New York on Thursday.”
“That’s nice.”
“Not very. The place depresses me. It lacks the ambiance one sees in the perfume commercials. It always seems to be filled with heroin addicts with permanent head colds, and coke freaks with permanent nosebleeds.”
“Oh, come on. It isn’t that bad.”
“No? You ever walked through the Bowery on a Saturday night in summer?”
“I can’t say that I have.”
“Looks like the last act of Hamlet. Bodies everywhere.”
Jennifer laughed. “I’d have guessed that your experiences there were limited to lunches at Elaine’s and nights with the in-crowd at the best clubs.”
“You’d be wrong,” he said shortly, in a voice which did not encourage her to ask questions.
He glanced at his watch. “It’s late, or very early. I should go.”
Jennifer said nothing. She didn’t want him to leave, but how could she risk another scene?
He got up and reached for his jacket. She followed him to the door.
“Thanks for listening,” he said.
“Thanks for talking,” she whispered.
Lee stood looking down at her. He reached out to smooth her hair back from her face. His fingers trailed across her brow to her cheek. Unable to stop herself, Jennifer turned her head and kissed his palm.
He froze.
“Don’t go,” she murmured. “Don’t go.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said firmly. He dropped his jacket on a chair and picked her up as if she were weightless, walking to the sofa in front of the fire. He sat upon it with her still in his arms.
Jennifer clung to him, her arms about his neck. His eyes, heavy lidded, thickly lashed, gazed down at her, lambent. They closed slowly as his mouth met hers.
His kiss was forceful, demanding, right from the start. He was sure, this time, that she would not stop him.
She could not have done so if she’d tried. Jennifer was so in love with him that one night together was preferable to a lifetime of wondering what might have been. She knew the chance she was taking, but it no longer mattered. The only thing in the world was this man, and this moment.
The feel of his hands on her body was the strongest erotic stimulant she had ever known. Jennifer could not get enough of him; her own aggression surprised her and aroused Lee. She tore her lips from his and pressed them to his throat, slipping her hands inside his clothes. He groaned and shifted her weight on his lap, pulling her closer.
Jennifer unbuttoned his shirt with trembling fingers, and he shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor.
His skin was smooth, perfect, golden bronze. He half lay against the cushions, head thrown back, eyes closed, as she kissed and caressed him, stroking the hard, muscular arms and shoulders, rasping his flat dark nipples with her tongue.
It was not enough. Her hands strayed below his waist, and his breath hissed through his teeth. He moved to get up, to undress. Besotted, she hung on him, unable to bear the loss of contact.
He gently put her hands away, and quickly shed the rest of his clothes. Jennifer sat, drugged, until he returned in seconds, to disrobe her like a doll. As he removed each garment, he mouthed the part of her body he had uncovered. She put her fist in her mouth to prevent crying out, and he pulled it back, kissing the curled fingers. “I want to hear,” he whispered.