'I regard my slaves as family,' I protested with a righteous air.
'All the more reason to bump a few off!' replied Glaucus. Nobody would know he had a good-looking wife he doted on and an athlete son who was his pride and joy.
According to Helena it was more trying for a woman to get dressed when she wanted to look as if she had gone to no trouble than when she was trying to show vast respect to some possible patron in order to advance her husband (never applicable in my case) or to impress a man she was sizing up for passionate adultery (not applicable in Helena's, I hoped – - though if that was her intention there was not much I could do about it; she was far too devious). I lay on the bed watching proceedings, naked and hoping the scent of the masseur's crocus oils would evaporate. His goo was useless for attracting women. Helena Justina had just wrinkled her nose in mild curiosity, as if I had come home with an arm missing and she was subconsciously wondering what was different about me. The hour which we could have filled with lovemaking went to trying on gowns, searching for girdles and picking through her jewel casket. When she was halfway through applying face paint, she rushed off to supervise Albia, who had decided that since her parents never took her anywhere, she would wear all the sparkle she possessed while there was an opportunity.
'We need to look as though we know it's not just borage tea and a pickled egg,' I heard Helena telling her. Two room doors had been left open, to facilitate the shrieks as the only good gown in the chest was found to have had honey spilled down it and the clasp on each chosen necklace broke under frantic fingers. 'But that we don't think enough of Anacrites to bring out our best.'
'And why is it we hate him?' Albia asked with her fastidious curiosity. She tended to act as if all things done in Rome were crazy beyond belief to anyone born in the provinces.
'No hatred. We treat him cautiously,' Helena reproved her. 'We find his jealousy of Falco a touch unhealthy.'
'Oh – as in, he tried to have Falco splayed on a rock for carrion birds in Nabataea?'
'Quite. Trying to arrange a long-distance execution was not acceptable etiquette.'
'So will the spy try short-distance Falco-killing this evening?' Albia sounded far too interested.
Davis, Lindsey – Falco 20
Nemesis (2010)
'No, darling. Anacrites is too shrewd to try anything with you and me there. I'd poke his eyes out, while you rushed for a lawyer.'
That was reassuring. I hauled myself upright and sorted out a tunic I was willing to wear.
'Oh Marcus! You're not going in that disaster. Wear your russet.'
'Too smart.'
I had always loathed the russet, which made me look like some praetor's pimpled equerry. Naturally, that was what my stylists made me wear.
At the Anacrites establishment, which he must have acquired with his Census earnings, the murderous watchdog had been sluiced with scented water and told to bark more quietly. That would be a bonus for the wealthy neighbours who were usually too scared to complain. The formidable gates had been oiled so they could be forced wide enough; Pa's old six-bearer litter sailed us through. We were cleared by the bestubbled porter and passed into the custody of liveried greeting slaves.
They were slick. So slick, Helena guessed Anacrites had hired professional party-planners. His house was busy with Lusitanians in matching snowy tunics. There were garlands in themed colours. A young lady facilitator in platform soles and a faux fur bustband picked out bijou little guest-gifts for us (I got dice, that would only land on three). At the spy's back door must be a train of carts bringing the accoutrements of outside caterers – - bronze buckets of fancy seafood from specialist suppliers, slightly worn table linen, and their own griddles. For Anacrites, this evening clearly meant much more than a comfortable supper among friends.
I pinched Albia cheerfully. 'Assume the Trojan hog is on!'
The greeters whipped away our outer garments and shoes. A rumpus at the door announced further visitors. Since one of the voices was that of Camillus Aelianus – - sounding a little weary perhaps – - that boded ill. We had hardly reached the atrium and Albia already looked surly. Then I heard the hideous baritone of Minas of Karystos. He must have stiffened his resolve with cocktails before the party set out.
Helena and I shuffled past the atrium pool, towing Albia. Tiny lamps like fireflies, the kind designers think sophisticated, twittered around the pool, many already going out. While the newcomers were shovelled into their dining sandals, we found our way through the murk and came upon our host reclining on a reading-couch, like a man who was trying to calm his nerves.
He jumped up, wearing one of his slimfit tunics (great gods, the vain fool must have darts put in, to make him look trim). I was very put out that his was a brown shade rather close to mine. I'd half expected him to have a torc around his neck, but he had confined himself to matched gold cuffs on his upper arms. He exercised. He had enough muscle to show off, though his arms were oddly smooth, as if he had the hairs individually plucked.
'You invited my brother!' Helena barked at him. Anacrites had changed her from peacemaker to firebrand in one move. Even he looked startled.
'Dear Helena Justina -' Oh it was formal names tonight! 'Since Lucius Petronius and Maia Favonia unfortunately had other commitments, I invited both your brothers.' He made it sound as though he was doing her a favour, as if the noble Camilli were incapable of arranging a family party for themselves. What it really meant was that he only knew us. I was right: he had no friends. 'I hoped you would approve,' he whined.
Fortunately the band struck up.
He had three lyres and a light hand-drummer. They accompanied a short troupe of fairly good tumblers in almost new costumes, followed by a girl who sang brief Cretan shepherd songs after long explanations from a man in a shaggy goatskin cape. Ignoring this, we waved cheerily to Justinus and his wife Claudia, less cheerily to Aelianus, his new wife Hosidia and his tottering father-in-law. 'Cretan was the best I could get at short notice to compliment Greeks,' Anacrites whispered as he went to welcome the Camilli. As a host he seemed anxious, a new and surreal side to him.
We watched Anacrites wonder whether he could – - or should – - kiss Claudia and Hosidia, or if he should, or could, embrace Helena's brothers. (He had not hugged me. I'd like to see him try.) Minas, the bearded, exuberant law professor, threw himself upon Anacrites, whom he had never met, as if they had rowed the same oar in a galley for at least twenty years. Hosidia shrank against Aelianus, who nearly stepped back into the atrium pool. Claudia was too tall for the spy to kiss and she just shook hands with him briskly; the hem of her gown fell victim to the sting of the firefly lights but Hosidia considerately flapped out the sparks. Aulus and Quintus Camillus as one stayed at arm's length from Anacrites. I noticed they both wore heavy new chalk-white togas, ready for electioneering. They introduced their womenfolk, who then clustered with my two so they could all admire each other's outfits. Claudia, who had a warm heart, greeted Albia very fondly. Hosidia stood about looking supercilious. It was her natural expression, as far as I could tell.
'Would you like us to speak Greek?' Anacrites asked helpfully, in fluent administrative Greek.
'Naturally I speak Latin,' Hosidia answered – though she said it in Greek. That failed to solve anything; so we were headed for a bilingual evening – feasible, but distancing.
Two pale, flat-chested girls in long white uniforms arrived with snack trays. The snacks were small but tasty; there was no obvious sign that house-slaves had nibbled them. Young boys with their hair oiled into silly points brought the first drinks, in garish decorated cups that the caterers probably supplied. Minas, who needed no cheering up, cheered up loudly. The women guests then demanded that Anacrites give them a tour of his house. Looking worried, he let himself be swept off; he had the expression of a man who knew he had left a pile of dirty loincloths on his bedroom floor and failed to close the cupboard containing his winged phallus lamps.