Researching one of my conferences, I noticed he was scheduled to speak. I found out when and where and got access to the area where he would have to get on and off the stage. I positioned myself in a place where it would be damn near impossible to get by without giving me a little nudge.
As he walked by, I got his attention. "Mr. Diller, my name is Keith Ferrazzi. I work for Barry Sternleicht as his CMO at Starwood. He's mentioned before that you and I should talk and I thought I'd just make the introduction myself. I know you're busy, but I'm wondering if I can call your office and arrange a time to meet with you when we get back home?" [Pause—to which he responded, "Sure, call my New York office."] "Great, I wanted to talk to you about a number of ideas I have about your business, but I've also admired your career and pioneering work you've done for a long time." That was it. I played my heaviest and hardest card, which was my boss, a fellow visionary entrepreneur for whom Diller held respect. With a name as big as Diller, sometimes the bump can't be as deep as you'd like. Still, with limited time I managed to gain credibility by dropping a familiar and trusted name, show a bit of vulnerability in admitting I admired his career, and suggested I had value to offer with my ideas. That bump went on to realize a job offer and introductions within his company that are now important clients for FerrazziGreenlight.
Your sound-bite introduction will change depending on the circumstances. Generally, it will be a twoor three-sentence opener, tailored to the event, about what you can or want to do for them.
Breaks Are No Time to Take a Break
Breaks are where the real work happens at a conference.
Make sure and stake out the right place. Have you ever noticed how guests gather in the kitchen or some other central place when you have gatherings at home? One warm and centrally located spot is often the center of any party. The same holds true at a business gathering. Determine where most people will gather, or at least pass, and station yourself there. This might be near the food table, the bar, or the reception area.
Be on your game during these times. U.S. News & World Report revealed Henry Kissinger's technique for commanding a room: "Enter the room. Step to the right. Survey the room. See who is there. You want other people to see you."
Kissinger knows that great networkers know how to make a memorable first impression. They see a room of people as a playing field. Remember to look sharp. Don't underestimate the importance of dressing well in places where you'll be noticed. And start bumping.
Follow Up
If you didn't think I was a nut before, now it's a certainty. I know I've told you to follow up already, but that's how vitally important I think it is. So here it is again: follow up. After that, follow up again. Then, after you've done that, follow up once more.
I don't like to put it off or it might not get done. How many of you have cards from events that occurred months ago or even longer? That's a lost opportunity. During speeches, I'll sit in the back and write follow-up e-mails to the people I just met at the previous break. Everyone you talked with at the conference needs to get an e-mail reminding them of their commitment to talk again. I also like sending a note to the speakers, even if I didn't get a chance to meet them.
Here's an actual example of one of my follow-up e-mails:
Hey Carla,
Wow, what a fun time. I didn't expect tequila shots to he a part of the Forbes CIO conference. We definitely have to make this an annual occurrence. Hey, I also wanted to follow up with our discussion on your marketing strategy and your interest in the FerrazziGreenlight loyalty strategy work we've done as a way to help reach your adult women demographic. When can you do a call this week, or at your leisure?
Also, I wanted to say that I heard no fewer than three separate people talk about your session and what a great speaker you were. Congrats!
It's the People, N o t the Speakers
You've probably already figured this rule out by now. I don't often find the content of conferences particularly useful. I read a lot. I think about these subjects constantly and talk to a lot of people. By the time I get to a conference, I know the substance of what's going to be said.
Of course, there are exceptions, like when Michael H a m m e r talked about reengineering and then would magically t u r n the talk into both a lesson in life and a stand-up comedy routine.
Epiphanies aside, most conference speeches are about one more IBM or Microsoft senior VP talking about his or her processimprovement project. Even when the speaker is interesting, the mentality is the same: It's always about the people.
Don't Be This Person
THE WALLFLOWER: The limp handshake, the position in the far corner of the room, the unassuming demeanor—all signs that this person thinks he or she is there to watch the speakers.
THE ANKLE HUGGER: The ankle hugger is a total codependent and thinks that the first person they meet is their BFF (best friend forever). Out of fear, they shadow their BFF the entire conference. You've spent too much money not to leverage the opportunity to meet many different people. So bump! You have a lifetime to build relationships with these people. Collect as many follow-ups as you can.
THE CELEBRITY H O U N D : This type of person funnels every bit of their energy into trying to meet the most important person at the event. The problem is, if the person they want to meet truly is the most important person at the conference, that person will be on their guard. A n d maybe even guarded, literally. A young friend of mine went to see the King of Jordan speak recently and came back ecstatic. He had waited an hour or more, along with 5 0 0 other people, for a chance to shake the King's hand. I asked him, "How, exactly, did you benefit from that encounter?"
"I can say I met him," he sheepishly replied. I told him that there were probably at least a handful of dignitaries and members of the King's cabinet in that room whom no one knew or wanted to know. Wouldn't it have been better for my young friend to actually have had a conversation with one of them, instead of a handshake with someone who will not remember him beyond the handshake? M a y b e he could have struck up a relationship. Instead, he got a photo and a handshake.
THE SMARMY EYE DARTER: Nothing will give you a bad rap in less time. Be Bill Clinton instead. If you spend only thirty seconds with someone, make it thirty seconds of warmth and sincerity. Nothing will give you a good rap in less time.
THE CARD DISPENSER/AMASSER: This guy passes his card out like it had the cure for cancer written on its back. Frankly, cards are overrated. If you perform the bump successfully, and extract a promise for a future meeting, a piece of paper is irrelevant. This person gloats over the number of "contacts" he's made. In reality, he's created nothing more valuable than a phone book with people's names and numbers to cold-call.
15. Connecting with Connectors
It has become part of our accepted wisdom that six degrees is all that separates us from anyone else in the world. How can that be? Because some of those degrees (people) know many, many more people than the rest of us.
Call them super-connectors. We all know at least one person like this individual, who seems to know everybody and who everybody seems to know. You'll find a disproportionate amount of super-connectors as headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, politicians, journalists, and public relations specialists, because such positions require these folks' innate abilities. I am going to argue that such people should be the cornerstones to any flourishing network.