“Nick,” Micah says with his hand idly on Nick’s chest. “If you know something I should know, man up and tell me. It’s pretty evident witnessing Elsa faint, that there is more here than meets the eye.” Micah sounds angry and he knows Nick is hiding something. Micah was never one to let things lie, he will keep pushing if he wants to know something bad enough.
Liza, for once, called me Elsa, and that is not a good sign. Micah is pressing Nick, who like a rabid dog, is dying to one up Micah and tell him what he knows. I have to stop this madness right now. I need to clear my head and find a way to get everyone settled down and out of my apartment.
Tilting my head toward Micah, I aggressively unleash my anxiety. “NO! NO! NO! Listen, Micah Taylor, you left me. Whatever I lived through or had to deal with, I did it on my own. I had no one. I did the best I could, and it doesn’t matter what the hell you want right now, you’re not getting it!” I’m so angry, my lips curl, and my nails bite in my palms. I need to stand firm. I cannot fall to pieces, at least not yet. And not in front of him.
Pleading with me, Micah holds out his shaky hand. “What are you even saying? Please tell me?” His eyes float desperately looking for any answers he can get.
My limit’s reached. Raising the checkered flag, I’m done. “Out, I want you all out of here. Better yet, I’m going to my room. I can’t deal with any of this right now. I’ve got to work tomorrow.” Directing my stare at Nick, I need to warn him. “If you open your mouth about me and my past, I assure you, we will be finished! My feelings, and my past, they are mine. No one else’s.”
Reaching for my arms, Nick shows his defiant side. “I’m not leaving, Elsa. So get that thought out of your head.”
Holding her hands up, Liza’s poor body trembles. She’s wrecked. “Elsa, what the hell do I do here? My best friend, who I’ve seen crushed over some guy, just happens to be my boyfriend. What do I do?” Her eyes dart around the room at each of us. She’s searching for answers, I simply can’t provide.
My heart breaks even more seeing my friend so distraught. Lost in my head, I realize I’ve not considered what she must be feeling. “Oh Liza, what happened with me was a long time ago. He’s with you now and honestly, he hasn’t done anything wrong here, not to you. You can’t let this affect you and him. Neither of you.” Swinging my eyes to Micah, I say. “None of this changes because of me. I’ll learn to deal with it. I’ve made my peace, remember? I need some time myself.” I’m at a loss for words. Who the hell knows what I need about now? “I’m not sure what to do.” I’m so consumed with worry, my nerves are shot to hell. Like Liza, I’m a trembling mess.
“Elsa, can I have a few minutes alone with you. I promise after that I’ll leave you alone. One thing is sure, I don’t want to come between you and Liza. She loves you, and I can see how much she means to you, as well.” Soft and sweet Micah is so hard to resist when he’s like this.
How do I resist him? Tell him no? I’ve never been able to do it, so why start now?
“I’m not sure, Micah. There is not a thing we need to say to one another.” I say those words, trying to convince myself that they were true. But the only truth is, I just want to run into his arms and have him hold me. Just one more time. Being this close to the one you have carried a torch for, and loved for so long, is beyond excruciating. His arms are the arms I should not want, but I crave them all the same. His lips, which are asking to talk with me alone, I want to feel them against mine, right or wrong. I want his lips, his arms, hell I want all of him. I know I can’t him, but that does not stop me from wanting him. Thank God, this is all inside my head.
Taking a step closer, he offers me his hand. “Just let me explain why I left. The reason I acted the way I did. Just give me that.” Leaving his hand extended, he’s almost begging, pleading with me to take it. Damn it.
Nick’s adamantly shaking his head. “Fuck no! You’re not getting near her alone.”
The tension in the room is so thick, it’s way beyond awkward. My gaze keeps going from the two men who are dead set on trying to psych one another out. Liza walks next to Micah, touching his arm.
“No Nick, they need to talk. It seems like they both need some closure. Ace, I mean…” She then turns her head to look at Micah. “What the hell do I call you?”
“Ace is great, Micah is okay, too.” He’s speaking to Liza, but his focus is still on me.
“Okay, well Ace has been weird all day, and now I know why. He needs this. I may hate it, but I also know, Pip’s not going to do anything to hurt me.” Liza’s voice is so sweet, her words of rationale shows how great she is. I may not like the idea, but Liza and Micah might be good for one another. To be honest, I’ve never seen her so happy, and it’s all due to him.
“I’m thinking about El. You all believe that this is no big deal, what the hell? I’ve been living with this,” Nick says all the while pointing at me, “with her, how she felt, and how she still feels. Have you even questioned why she has never gotten over you?” He then takes a step toward Micah. “She has never gotten over you. You nearly destroyed her. You’ve turned her life inside out. Five years. It has taken her five years to move the hell on. Now you want some alone time with her? WELL FUCK YOU!” Stepping back Nick puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me, so my back is against his chest.
All this shouting solves nothing. If I give in, I can end this night. Nodding my head, I say, “Fine, all of us can sit down and hear what you have to say. That way, no one will get their feelings hurt. No secrets.” The main reason for me wanting to do it this way is so neither Nick or Liza will cause a bigger scene than they already have. Why lie? I do not want to be alone with him, a sudden war is being fought in my mind. The longer he is here in front of me, the more I want to sit down and talk to him. I know it’s not what I should have felt, but hey, I’m human. And I’ve wondered for so long about what happened to him. Now, I can find out all of those answers.
“I think there are secrets that need to come out. Maybe if we are all honest with one another, real feelings, once and for all, can be understood.” Nick is playing with Micah, and by the look on his face, I’m thinking Micah’s about ready to lose it. I glance back over my shoulder to jab Nick with my elbow.
He’s ignoring me and having a stare down, so I turn and shove his chest as hard as I can, to grab his attention. Yeah, that’s right, remember me? “I said NO. Either you respect my wishes or you get the hell out of here.”
Liza is solemnly trying to engage Micah. Unfortunately, he is beyond intrigued by all of Nick’s less than subtle hints.
I hear Micah protesting, with all of us in the same room just won’t work. “Elsa, please let’s do this alone. It’ll just take a few minutes.”
I don’t respond to Micah, my attention is solely on Nick, who’s beyond irritated. I’m not sure who is pissing him off more. It’s a toss up between Micah and me. At this point, I wholeheartedly agree with Micah, we can’t do this with Nick in the room. And it will probably be better if Liza’s doesn’t witness it, either. I’ll let Micah fill her in afterward, because I’m not even sure what he wants to tell me. Tossing my hands up, I surrender.
“Fine. My room.” I say to Micah, but I keep my eyes locked on Nick’s icy glare.
“Like hell!” his eyebrow arches and I swear smoke is rolling out of his ears.
Oh no, he is not telling me what I can or can’t do. He pushes into me, so there is no space between us. He has some serious height over me, but I’m not budging. He can’t intimidate me.
“Nick, either sit with Liza, or leave,” reaching up I grab a hold of his chin. “I can’t do this with you right now.”