He slides his hands around my back and pulls me in. “It’s a whole other world, and other actors get it. I’m busy—really busy—and I’m not home that much. If I dated an actress, she’d be busy doing her own shit while I was working on mine.”
“That makes sense. I never thought of it like that before.”
He shrugs. “There are unspoken rules in Hollywood too. I, um, haven’t been in it that long, you know, so I don’t know them all. Yet.” He stammers a bit as he talks, embarrassed to admit it. It must be difficult to be thrust into a world of A-listers with only a few years of experience. Wait, what? Am I really feeling sorry for him for rising to fame so quickly?
Aiden, what are you doing to me?
“French toast?” I say and go back to the fridge. He tells me about the movie he’s working on, and we laugh about outtakes and botched lines. He helps me clean up after we eat and walks with me back to the barn. He’s so perfect it terrifies me.
He goes into the foal’s stall, petting her and offering her another bottle while I change Phoenix’s padded bandages and treat her wounds. Then we let Benny, Sundance, and Shakespeare out and watch them race across the pasture.
“What about Phoenix?” Aiden asks, not looking away from the horses galloping through the grass.
“She’s not ready to go out there yet,” I say. “I let her in the dry lot, which is a smaller pasture with not much grass. She’s not strong enough physically to have that kind of room. If she went to the back of the pasture and got too weak or tied to come in, it could be the end. Plus, there are mountain lions out there that would love a weak horse.” It hurts my heart to keep her in the small pasture. I hate seeing her alone. I tried putting Shakespeare in with her, but he was too friendly and wanted to nuzzle her neck, which is covered in burns. I don’t trust the others, and I don’t trust Phoenix to be alone with the foal. For now, both had to be kept alone. Being alone is unnatural for horses. Hell, it is for anyone. But sometimes there is no other way.
“They probably love baby horses, too.”
I nod. “Yeah, and she doesn’t have a mom to protect her and teach her how to watch for those things.” My own words send a chill through me, and Aiden moves closer. “Eventually, she’ll learn. Shakespeare has fostered before.”
“Isn’t Shakespeare a dude?”
I laugh. “He is. I mean he’s good at teaching manners. Horses learn by watching other horses. It’s fascinating, actually, to just sit and watch them interact.”
I push off the fence and turn to Aiden. His gaze locks with mine, and I close the distance between us. His arms lock around my waist.
“There are really mountain lions around here?” he asks as he looks at the pasture.
“Yeah, but they don’t go after the horses that often. The healthy horses, I should say.”
“What do you do if one goes after the horses?”
“Hope that I’m home, first of all,” I say, lifting my arms and resting them on Aiden’s shoulders. “Then try to scare them off. If that doesn’t work…well, you know. There’s a rifle in the barn for a reason.”
“And you know how to use it?”
I laugh. “If you have a farm out here and you don’t know how to use a gun, you’re in trouble.”
“You’re kind of incredible,” he says with a smile. “Like a character from a movie. Women like you shouldn’t really exist, yet here you are, standing in front of me.”
Be still my heart. Early morning sunlight pours down on us. Aiden moves his head down, and I know he’s going to kiss me. My heart lurches, and I don’t know if I should pull him to me or run away. I know exactly who he is, and I know how this will end. He won’t be here forever. He’ll go back to L.A., go to another location, and find ways to entertain himself between filming.
If I fall for him, it will be entirely his fault. His eyes close and his lips part. I want him to put those lips to mine, to drink me and make me feel. I want that kiss to linger, to remind me of how badly it will hurt when he leaves me.
He cradles my head and tips my chin up. Soft lips crush against mine, and I’m a goner. He pulls me in, tongue slipping past my lips. My breath escapes me, and I know I am most definitely falling, no matter how desperately I reach out to cling to something—anything—to keep me from plummeting off the edge of reason and logic and crashing into something I can never have, something that will never last. My heart skips a beat, and warmth flows through me. I tighten my arms around him, pulling him against me. He kisses me harder, mouth pressed against mine in desperation. He needs this as much as I do.
I’m falling for you, Aiden Shepherd. Please don’t catch me.
Chapter 12
Aiden left soon after we let the horses out. His manager kept calling, and he kept declining the calls. After the fifth one, he grumbled and answered, then told me had to leave for a conference call and something about being the new face of some designer brand. He kissed me goodbye before getting in the car, and it was the same knee-buckling, panty-melting kiss from before.
Now I’m in the barn, cleaning stalls and feeling a little love-struck. I remind myself that this isn’t going to last. Aiden told me more than once he’s bored between scenes. He needs something to do, and someone to fill his time. And though he doesn’t say it, I can tell he doesn’t like being alone. He’s hard to read, and knowing he’s a damn good actor makes it even harder. It would be easy for him to fake anything.
One minute he’s deep and emotional—poetic, even. Then he’s cocky and knows he’s hot shit.
“It shouldn’t matter,” I tell Phoenix. She’s standing in the back of her stall with her head down. The muscles in her face are tight and her lips are pressed together, flattening her chin. She’s in pain. I set the pitchfork down and leave Sundance’s stall to go in with her.
Her ears, which are lowered, twitch ever so slightly when I slide the stall door open. She doesn’t turn her head to look at me. The little bit of happiness I had felt slips away.
“Hey, girl,” I say and slowly move closer. Her grain hasn’t been touched, which means she hasn’t gotten any of her pain medicine that was crushed up and hidden in applesauce. “Are you hungry, sweet pea?” I ask. Maybe the pills, though mixed in, turned her off. I quickly go to the feed bins and scoop more grain into a clean bucket. I set it down and step away.
Nothing.
She shows no interest. Then I notice her water is still full…and I didn’t have to fill it this morning. My stomach twists. I finish cleaning stalls, peeking at Phoenix in hopes I’d see her nibbling at her grain. But she’s still standing in the back of her stall, looking so miserable it breaks my heart.
I mix up another meal for the foal and pour it in a bucket, hanging it in the stall. She comes over and sniffs at it, then takes a drink. Thank God. I smile.
“There you go, baby. It’s the same as the bottle, and you can have as much as you want, anytime you want.” She takes another drink then comes to nuzzle me, wiping milk all over my shirt. I wrap my arms around her. “You’re going to be okay, aren’t you, baby?” I take her out in a small paddock and watch her run and prance. How anyone could throw away such a beautiful life is beyond me. The world is filled with horrible people. That is one of the many reasons I love horses so much, and not everyone gets that.
Horses don’t judge. They don’t hate, don’t discriminate. They don’t spend their lives holding grudges and trying to outdo one another. Why can’t people be more like that?
I go back into the barn to check on Phoenix. She’s still standing there, still not eating. I run inside and bring back the bottle of maple syrup from breakfast. I pour some on her grain and slide the dish over. She lowers her head. Yes, please eat! Her nostrils flare as she inhales. I hold my breath and watch, mentally begging her to eat. She raises her head, crushing me. Then she lowers it again and nibbles at the syrup before digging in.