“You’re going to get sick staying up all night, Hay.”
I shrug, forgetting she can’t see me. I don’t care if I get sick. A small part of me hopes I do so I can use it as an excuse to curl up in a ball and never leave my bed. “I’ll nap when you get here,” I say. I really need groceries, but I don’t have the cash and I already have enough on the credit card. There is food in the pantry. It’s mostly ingredients and boxes of pasta with no sauce to go with it, but it’s not like I’m going to starve.
“You will,” she reinforces. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. See ya soon.”
I hang up and go outside. Aurelia needs some cuddle time.
“Have you talked to Aiden again?” Lori asks. We’re sitting in the pasture, keeping Aurelia company as we eat.
“He called me last night.”
She makes a squeaking sound of excitement. “And?”
“He wants to see me on Friday. I don’t know what we’re doing, but he asked me to call him when I get off work.” I smile as I talk, thinking about his handsome face. Everything bad starts to fade away when I think of him. I finish my taco and wipe my greasy hands on the grass. “This is nuts, isn’t it?”
“Nuts in a good way,” she says, taking a sip of her Pepsi.
“If it weren’t Aiden Shepherd, what would you say?” I ask.
“Say in what regard?”
“To me going out and dating someone. Don’t tell me you’d think it’d be a good idea. I’m a loose cannon that cries all the time. Don’t you think dating is the last thing I need?”
Lori leans back on her elbows. Her strawberry-blonde hair blows in the breeze, coming out of the tight French braid she put it in. “Yes and no, and it would depend on who. I can’t fucking stand Kit sometimes, but if something happened to me like it did to you, I’d want him. I’d need him. Having someone…” She trails off, and I think she’s afraid of offending me. “Having someone helps you get through things. I’m not saying Aiden or any guy is the answer here, but let him distract you, Hay. It’s more than just a man. It’s having a connection with someone that you don’t share with anyone else. I want to see you smile again and actually mean it. I miss the old you, and I worry about you so much.”
“I miss the old me too.” The old me burned to death along with my mother and eight innocent horses. I don’t think she’s able to be revived.
A large van slows at the end of my driveway. We both turn, watching it back up and turn in.
“Lost?” Lori suggests, pushing herself up. “Maybe they want directions.”
“Maybe,” I say as I gather the food wrappers. Sunlight reflects off the shiny paint, and I can’t read what the label says. It slows to a stop by the garage. Lori and I narrow our eyes in the sun and wait for the driver to get out.
“Haley Parker?” he asks when he opens the door.
“Yeah?” I reply and hesitate.
“I got a delivery for you. Sign here, please.”
“Delivery?” I stride forward. “I didn’t order anything.” I get close enough to see the van is from a home-delivery grocery service—something I definitely couldn’t afford even before the accident.
“An A. Shepherd placed the order, but I was given your name and address for the drop-off.”
Lori does her excited squeak again and elbows me. “That is really random and kind of weird,” she whispered. “But cute!”
I can’t stop the smile that pulls up my lips. I shake myself and sign the confirmation paper. “Long story,” I tell her. “Well, not really. I told him that I’d either nap or go grocery shopping when you got here, and he knew I was tired.”
“Oh my God. Oh my God! He’s the perfect man. That is seriously—oh my God. I can’t handle it, Hay.”
I just laugh, unsure if I can handle it either. It must have cost a fortune to get the service to drop off food way out here. I’m pretty sure we’re out of range for any thing like this. My mind is changing about Aiden as each bag of groceries comes out of the back of the van. Lori and I stick them in the house; Chrissy sniffs each one and finds a box of organic dog treats. I laugh and tear it open.
Aiden Shepherd is the most thoughtful person on the planet.
The last thing to come out of the truck is a small vase of tulips with a note. I take the flowers inside and snatch the note before Lori can see, wanting to read it first before sharing.
Haley-
Now you can get some sleep. You’ll need it for Friday.
-Aiden
I read his words three times. It’s simple, yet my heart warms and I want to call him. Now. Instead, Lori and I put the food away, gushing and fangirling over him in a totally different way. I’m too excited to nap, but I go upstairs to lie down anyway.
I assume he can’t answer his phone right now, but I want to leave a message anyway. I don’t know what to say. A simple thank you isn’t enough. He did this to give me time to rest. He doesn’t know how much of a financial relief it is to have at least two weeks’ worth of food taken care of for me.
I feel a little nervous when I call him, and I hope he doesn’t answer. I’m no good when it comes to stuff like this. I get embarrassed, and then I don’t seem grateful, and I am, so much.
I get his voicemail, thank goodness. I smile at the sound of his voice and am surprised by the warmth that rushes through me, going all the way down to my core. I’m attracted to Aiden. Very attracted. I was before I got to know him, and now I am even more. I hadn’t felt any sort of desire until he kissed me, awakening what I’d buried in ash.
“Aiden,” I say. “It’s Haley. Thank you. That was so nice of you, and I can’t think of the words to say how much I appreciate it. Um, call me back if you can. I’m taking that nap now, thanks to you. Hope you’re having a good day.”
I hang up before I’m given the chance to redo my message. I could leave fifty and not be satisfied. I take a peek at the photo of us together one more time before closing my eyes and drifting into one of the most peaceful naps I’ve had in months.
I sit at my desk at work the next day, staring at the blank page on my computer. I’m supposed to be writing an article about hiking season, but I’m having a hard time getting the words out. I type out a few, hate them, delete, and then am left staring at the blank Word document again. I sigh and rub my forehead. I’m exhausted. Completely and utterly drained.
Phoenix didn’t eat dinner. She didn’t touch her hay, didn’t sniff her grain. She didn’t drink any water, and she stood perfectly still when I changed her bandages. It wasn’t because she’d been taught manners; it was because she didn’t care. She was giving up and shutting down, and I didn’t know what else to do other than stay with her again that night.
Knowing she is alone in the barn sickens me. I want to go to her and tell her it’s okay, that I have faith in her and I won’t give up, even if she has. I take a breath and look at the clock; I’ve only been here for an hour. I’m on my second cup of coffee already, and my stomach hates me for it.
Aiden never called me back last night. He’s busy, very busy, and he probably didn’t have time. But how hard is it to send a freaking text message? Whatever. He’ll call eventually. And if he doesn’t…at least I got free groceries out of it.
“Haley!” Mr. Weebly says in a tone only used after saying my name several times already, unable to get my attention.
I snap around, putting on my fake smile. “Yes?”
His eyes are round and he crosses his arms. “Were you planning on telling us?” Oh shit. Had I done something wrong? I can’t handle getting yelled at. I’ll break down crying.
I swallow. “Telling you what?”
His thin lips pull into a smile. “This!” he exclaims, holding up his phone.
“Oh.” Blood rushes to my cheeks as I look at the Instagram photo. “Yeah. He and I, uh…we…” I trail off, shaking my head. I push my hair back and smile.