“I know! I know she was an adult and could make her own decisions. I know! You don’t get it. It’s my fault!”
He reaches for me and I jerk away. His touch feels wrong right now. I’m tainted, broken, and I don’t want to infect him. “It’s not your fault.”
“Yes,” I whisper as tears roll down my cheeks. “I want so badly to go back to that day. To tell myself to just listen to her and stay away from the fire. It hurts so much, and this is why you shouldn’t be with me. I’m not a good person like you think I am.” I break down. Aiden sits up and holds me as I cry.
“It’s okay,” he soothes, but it isn’t—not at all. “You didn’t intend to put your mother at risk. You didn’t kill her. It’s not your fault.”
I didn’t intend to put anyone at risk. I just wanted to help the horses. I wanted to give them a second chance. My body shudders and I sniffle, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.
He lets me go and gets out of bed, returning with a box of tissues from the bathroom. I take one and blow my nose.
“Sorry,” I say, turning away. “I must look disgusting.”
“Good thing the lights are out,” he jokes, and I smile. “And you’re not disgusting, even if you try.”
“I’d say you’re a bad liar, but that’s not true.”
“Hey, it’s my job.”
I wipe the tears off my cheeks and crumple up the tissue, tossing it to the trashcan by my desk and missing by several feet. Aiden pulls me back down and runs his fingers along my collarbone.
“I love you,” he says, and he kisses me.
“Aiden, I…”
“It’s okay.” He lies down next to me, holding me against him. I run my fingers over the scar inside his wrist. He had his own demons, his own dark past. I bring his arm up and kiss the scar. I let out a breath and my heart doesn’t ache. I feel closer to him than I have to anyone.
I turn in his arms and hook my leg over his. “I’m trying,” I start.
He shakes his head. “Don’t try. You will love me, Haley,” he says with confidence. “I won’t give up until you give me your heart. And when you do, it will be because you want to, because you can’t imagine giving it to anyone else. You and I, we’re not that different. We are both broken and fucked up in the worst kind of way. We are meant to be.”
I forget to breathe. I close my watery eyes and kiss him. “I do love you, Aiden.” The last wall comes tumbling down, breaking into a million pieces as it falls. I’m holding nothing back. My heart is outside my chest, there for the taking.
He pushes up and moves between my legs, feverishly kissing me. “I fucking love you, Haley,” he says between kisses.
“It’s crazy and I’m scared, but I love you, Aiden, so much.”
“Isn’t love supposed to be scary and crazy? It wouldn’t be the same if it was safe and tame.”
“You’re right. And as out of control as this seems, it feel so right.” I bring his face to mine, needing to kiss him. My body reacts to my heart, and I need to feel him inside me, thrusting in and out. I need him as close as he can get, and I need him now.
“I want you,” I rasp, arching my back as his lips move to my neck, sucking at my skin. He just nods and reaches down, his hand going inside the shorts. He slips a finger inside, and I’m wet already. He slowly pushes it in deep, finding my g-spot and gently pressing against it, then releases. Pulses of desire shoot through me. His mouth is still on mine, and I’m kissing him, my hands tangled in his wavy hair. He presses and releases over and over, until my muscles tighten and I’m close to coming.
I yank off his boxers, and he takes the cotton shorts down to my knees. I bend my legs up, moving out of them. Then he’s on me again, the wet tip of his cock pressing against me. He pushes inside and lets out a small groan. I hook my legs around him and moan as he pushes in as deep as he can go. He holds himself there for a second, his lips locked with mine and his tongue in my mouth.
I run my fingers down his back and grab his ass, squeezing it and pushing him into me. Then he slowly pulls back and thrusts in. Hard. He pulls out again and pushes in harder and harder. Tingles run their way through me. He takes his lips off mine, moving them to my neck. His tongue lashes against my cool skin.
I love him. So fucking much. I cling to him, my head falling to the side. My nails dig into his skin as I come, the orgasm rolling through me with such force I can’t move until it’s done.
I push Aiden’s hair back and roll him over, climbing on top. His hands land on my hips, rocking along with me as I move up and down. I take his hands in mine and move them up, dragging his fingers along my side and over the scar. He cups my breasts and moans. I pant and lean forward. My wet hair falls over my shoulder. I shake it back and put my hands on his chest, my mouth opening and muscles tightening.
He grabs me, pulling me down onto him right as I come again. He flips me back over and quickly thrusts into me. A stream of warmth fills me as he finishes, and it’s only then I realize he didn’t put a condom on.
My heart still racing, I hold on to Aiden. He flexes his hips and pushes in, letting out a final moan. He relaxes against me with his head on my breasts. I run my hands over his hair, panting.
“I meant to pull out,” he says and sits up. “But I couldn’t make myself. Sorry.” He shrugs and lays down next to me, taking my hand in his.
“It’s okay. It’s just this once.” I stopped taking birth control last month. I didn’t think I’d need it anymore. My period has yet to start, but I know better than to think that was enough to keep me safe from getting knocked up.
“I don’t have anything,” he says. “In case you were wondering.”
“I hadn’t thought about that,” I confess. “I’m just hoping we didn’t make a baby Aiden right now.” His face pales and I laugh. “I’m sure we’re fine.”
He rolls over on my stomach and kisses me. “Say it again.”
I smile and look into his eyes. “We’re fine.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I love you.” His lips crush against mine and he hooks his arm around me. “Wait,” I say and reach for the tissue. “It’s seeping out.” Aiden makes a face. “It’s your stuff,” I say, holding a tissue between my legs as I get up and go into the bathroom to clean up. My head is spinning from the roller coaster of emotion I’ve been on.
Love is scary and crazy.
It’s supposed to be. And it means having someone there to walk with you through the storm, picking you up when you can’t go on, carrying your baggage when you don’t have the strength to do so anymore.
I get back into bed with Aiden, falling into his arms. This is crazy. This is scary. This is exactly what I want, what I need. And I’m never letting him go.
“This is what happens when I work doubles on the weekend,” Lori says into the phone. I switch hands and slow my Jeep to a stop at a light. “I miss all the gossip.”
I yawn and kick myself for forgetting my mug of coffee on the kitchen counter. Oh well, at least it’s there and ready for Aiden whenever he gets up. Being wet and cold made his fever come back, and I spent the rest of the night doting on him. It was the least I could do, really. He’s given me so much, made me feel even more. He healed me.
I smile. “You did miss a ton.” I roll down my window, squinting in the sun. I’m almost to work, and I just filled Lori in on one of the most emotional yet best weekends of my life. I left my sunglasses at home as well. I let out a breath, still smiling. “He invited me to go to a movie premiere with him.”
“No way! You’re going, right? Please tell me you’re going.”
“I want to,” I say honestly. Thinking about getting dressed to the nines and walking down the red carpet with my arm linked through Aiden’s excites me. “And I will as long as I can find someone to take care of the horses.” I wince when I think of what it will cost me to get someone to come out to the barn multiple times a day to check on the horses. It’ll be more than just paying someone to come over twice a day to feed them. I need someone with a basic medical knowledge and know-how to treat wounds.