“Sorry Grant, he wins this,” Meg replied squeezing my arms just a little too long. I dropped my arm and headed back to the cart.
“Putt the ball, Grant,” I called out.
“You didn’t win this! She just picked you because she feels loyal to you since she was your first fuck,” he replied.
I jerked my head around to see if anyone had heard him. Thankfully, it looked like no one had.
Blaire
I sat there as they got on their cart and drove to the next hole. I was supposed to be getting more drinks. My desire to see Rush had gotten the best of me and I’d taken a small detour until I found him. Now, I wish I hadn’t. For the first time this week I was sick at my stomach again. He hadn’t told me Meg was his first. He’d just said they were old friends.
Knowing what kind of old friends they were didn’t help. I was well aware that Rush had a string of girls that he’d slept with. It was something I knew when I’d gone to his bed the first time. But seeing him with the one. The one that had been his first was painful.
She’d been flirting with him and he’d been flirting back. Trying to impress her with his muscles. They were impressive enough without him flexing them and showing off. Why had he done that? Did he want her to be attracted to him? Was he curious about what she was like in bed now?
My stomach rolled and I forced my cart into drive and pulled away from the trees I’d been hiding behind. I hadn’t meant to hide. I’d taken a short cut to see if Rush was at this hole. But when I’d seen him smiling at Meg and then letting her touch him I’d stopped. I couldn’t go any further.
She was a part of his world. She fit into his world. Instead of driving a drink cart around she was playing golf with him. He couldn’t have asked me. For starters I had no idea how to play and then, of course, I worked here. I couldn’t play. What was he doing with me? His sister hated me. I couldn’t be a part of his life. Not really. I would always be on the outside looking in. I hated the way this felt.
Being with him was amazing. In the privacy of his house or my condo it was easy to pretend we could be something more. But what happens when I’m showing? When I’m very pregnant and he is with me? People will know. How will he handle it? Can I expect him to?
I loaded the cart back up and let my mind play over all the scenarios that could happen with us. None of them ended happily. I wasn’t one of the elite. I was just me. This past week I’d let myself play with the idea of staying. Raising this baby with Rush. As much as seeing him with Meg had hurt it had been the wakeup call I needed. No one lived in a fairy tale. Especially me.
By the time I got back my group had made it to the last stretch. I smiled and served drinks and even joked with the golfers. No one was going to know I was upset. This was my job. I was going to be good at it.
I wouldn’t say anything to Rush tonight. There was no point. He wasn’t thinking clearly. I would just put some distance between us. I couldn’t let myself believe he was my happily ever after. I was smarter than that.
I hadn’t been able to make it through the day without getting sick. The heat had gotten to me but I would be damned if Woods knew about it. I didn’t need him thinking I couldn’t do my job. Bethy held my hair back while I threw up in the toilet in the back of the offices. I really did love her.
“You over did it,” she scolded as I lifted my head up from my last heave.
I didn’t want to admit it but she was probably right. I took the wet washcloth she was handing me and cleaned my face before sitting down on the floor and leaning back against the wall.
“I know. But don’t tell anyone,” I requested.
Bethy sat down beside me. “Why?”
“Because I need this job. The money is good. If I’m leaving once I start showing then I need all the money I can save up. It won’t be easy getting a job while I’m obviously pregnant.”
Bethy turned her head and looked at me. “You’re still planning on leaving? What about Rush?”
I didn’t want Bethy mad at him. She’d just started being nice to him again. “I saw him today. He was having fun. He fit in. He’s where he belongs. I’m where I belong. I don’t fit in with his world.”
“He doesn’t get a say in this? If you just said the word he’d have you moved into his house and he would be taking care of everything. You wouldn’t be working at this club and you would be at his side everywhere. You’ve got to know that.”
I didn’t like the idea of being one more woman who mooched off him. His mother and sister did that. I didn’t want to do it too. I didn’t care about his money. I just cared about him. “I’m not his responsibility.”
“Excuse me if I beg to differ. When he knocked you up you became his ultimate responsibility,” Bethy said in a huff.
I knew the truth about the night we’d had sex without a condom. I’d come onto him. I had all but attacked him. It hadn’t been his fault. All the other times he was careful. I hadn’t let him be that night. It was my mistake not his.
“Trust me when I tell you that this was all on me. You weren’t there the night I got pregnant. I was.”
“Can’t be all your fault. You can’t get pregnant alone.”
I wasn’t going to argue with her. “Just don’t tell anyone I was sick. I don’t want them worrying.”
“Fine. I’m not happy about it though. You do this again and I’m telling,” she warned.
I laid my head over on her shoulder. “Deal,” I agreed.
Bethy patted my head. “You are one crazy girl.”
I just laughed because she was right.
Rush
As soon as the tournament was over, I went home to shower and clean up. I didn’t even hang around to get the second place trophy. I left Grant and Meg to do the honors. I couldn’t care less. I only participated in the tournament because I’d signed up with Nan and Grant early in the summer. We did it every year. It was for a good cause.
When I’d stopped by the offices where the drink carts were parked Darla said Blaire had left with Bethy about an hour ago. I called Bethy but got no answer. I figured by the time I got a shower and changed they would be back from wherever it was they went.
Bethy’s car was in the parking lot when I pulled up to their condo. Blaire was home. Thank God. I’d missed her like crazy all day. I knocked three times and waited impatiently for it to open. Bethy gave me a tight smile. Not who I wanted to see.
“Hey,” I said, stepping in.
“She’s already asleep. It was a long day,” Bethy said, still standing at the door holding it open like she wanted me to leave now.
“Is she okay?” I asked,looking down the hall to her closed bedroom door.
“Just tired. Let her sleep,” Bethy replied.
I wasn’t leaving. She could close the damn door. “I won’t wake her up but I’m not leaving. So you can close the door,” I told her before heading back to Blaire’s room.
It was only six in the evening. She shouldn’t be asleep so early unless she was sick. The idea of her overdoing it today made my heart race. I should have insisted she not work today. This wasn’t safe for her or the baby.
I opened the door slowly and stepped inside. Then I closed and locked it behind me. Blaire was curled up in the center of her big bed. She looked lost up there. Her long blond hair fanned out over the pillows and one of her long bare legs was kicked out of the covers. I pulled my shirt off then threw it over on the dresser before unzipping my jeans and pulling them off. When I was down to my boxer briefs I pulled the covers back and climbed in behind her.Idrew her up against me; she came willingly. A soft sigh and some mumbled greeting was the most adorable sound I’d ever heard. Smiling, I buried my face in her hair and closed my eyes.
This was the only place I ever wanted to be. I slid my hand down and laid it flat over her stomach. The idea of what I was holding right now was humbling.