Never stand behind a cow when its tail is up.
Never hide your food under the kitchen chair cover.
Never eat chicken at a fancy party. It might be squid.
Never swallow a firefly, or you might get electrocuted.
Never live in one house with one bathroom and three sisters.
“Never Give Up on a Good Thing”GEORGE BENSON, title of 1982 song
“Never Seek to Tell Thy Love”WILLIAM BLAKE, title of 1793 poem
There are several versions of Blake’s poem, the result of his tinkering over the years. The basic notion behind all of them is the same, however. Blake passionately pleads his love to a woman who doesn’t respond. The heartbroken poet then sees the woman fall for a complete stranger. What really stings, though, is that the stranger wins the woman’s heart by doing almost nothing (in Blake’s words, “He took her with a sigh”). As Blake reflects on what has happened, he concludes that a lover should “Never seek to tell thy love.” It’s a completely unwarranted conclusion, of course, and Blake might never have arrived at it if he had a frank friend who, to borrow a modern expression, said, “William, she was just not that into you.” Here are the final two stanzas of the original verse, including that final dramatic line:I told my love, I told my love,I told her all my heart,Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears—Ah! she doth depart.Soon as she was gone from me,A traveller came by,Silently, invisibly:He took her with a sigh.
Never Ask Delilah for a Trim: And Other Good AdviceMARTHA BOLTON, title of 1998 book
Bolton’s title is an allusion to the biblical Delilah, a temptress who uses her wiles to discover that the secret of Samson’s strength is his hair, and then betrays him to his enemies.
Never Turn Your Back on a FriendBUDGIE, title of 1973 album
“Never Love Unless You Can”THOMAS CAMPION, title of 1617 poem
Campion is best remembered for Observations on the Art of English Poesie, a 1602 book in which he urged poets to discontinue the “vulgar and unartificial custom of rhyming.” Happily for lovers of verse, his recommendation never took hold. “Never Love Unless You Can” is not a remarkable piece of verse, but it has a spectacular opening couplet:Never love unless you canBear with all the faults of man.
Never Lie to a LadyLIZ CARLYLE, title of 2007 novel
Carlyle has written sixteen historical romance novels, including a number of New York Times bestsellers. This was the first novel in “The Neville Family Trilogy.” The other two were titled Never Deceive a Duke (2007) and Never Romance a Rake (2008).
Never Learn to Milk a Cow:
A Psychologist Writes to His Teenage ChildrenCARLOS W. DAVIS JR., title of 2009 book
Davis explained the origin of the title in a lovely story that fits into a classic neveristic theme: Never do for others what they can do for themselves. Here are his exact words:When my mother was about to marry my dad, she asked my dad’s mother . . . if she had any advice. My grandmother Ionie explained that after she had learned to milk a cow for her husband, her husband quit milking the cow. She gently leaned over to my mother and whispered: “Never learn to milk a cow.”
Never Cry WerewolfHEATHER DAVIS, title of 2009 novel
If there were an award for “Vampire Novel with the Best Title,” this would be a clear favorite for the way it tweaks the saying never cry wolf, described earlier. Tamara Summer’s debut vampire novel in 2009 was also cleverly titled: Never Bite a Boy on the First Date. Summer, however, borrowed her title from a 2003 episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, an American TV series that aired from 1997 to 2003.
Never Be Late Again:
7 Cures for the Punctually ChallengedDIANA DELONZOR, title of 2003 book
Never Say Hi Jack! in an Airport:
And 101 Other Life-Saving Travel TipsTERRY DENTON, title of 1997 travel book
Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing:
Still More Urban Folklore from the Paperwork EmpireALAN DUNDES & CARL R. PAGTER, title of 1991 book
In 1996, Donald Walker used the same title for a quotation anthology, subtitled Wit and Wisdom for Leaders. The titles can be traced to a line from Robert A. Heinlein’s 1973 sci-fi classic Time Enough for Love. In 2002, Mark McCormack came out with Never Wrestle with a Pig: and Ninety Other Ideas to Build Your Business and Career. All of the pig admonitions were discussed in the classic neverisms chapter.
Never Eat Alone:
And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a TimeKEITH FERRAZZI, title of 2005 book (with Tahl Raz)
Never Say Diet:
How to Live Older and Look LongerCOREY FORD, title of 1954 book
Ford’s book was the first to play off the words of the familiar saying never say die. In 1980, Richard Simmons picked up on the idea with his Never-Say-Diet Book. And in 2007, personal fitness trainer Chantel Hobbs—who lost over 200 pounds—titled her book Never Say Diet: Make Five Decisions and Break the Fat Habit for Good.
Never DespairMARTIN GILBERT, title of 1988 biography of Winston Churchill
Gilbert, Churchill’s official biographer, chose this as the title of the eighth and final volume in his exhaustive biography of the legendary English statesman. The title was inspired by Churchill’s last speech to the House of Commons on March 1, 1955. These were his concluding words:
The day may dawn when fair play, love for one’s fellow men,
respect for justice and freedom, will enable tormented generations to
march forth triumphant from the hideous epoch in which we have to dwell.
Meanwhile, never flinch, never weary, never despair.
Never Again:
A History of the HolocaustMARTIN GILBERT, title of 2000 book
When Gilbert chose the title of his book, the phrase never again had been associated for more than fifty years with the Jewish people’s determination to never let such a horror be repeated. Given the reverence with which we now view the saying, it came as a bit of a surprise to discover that Never Again was first used as the title of a 1916 silent film comedy starring a young Oliver Hardy, years before his partnership with Stan Laurel. The phrase has also been used to title dozens of other books, including these: