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Never Again: A Program for Survival (1971)RABBI MEIR KAHANE

Never Again? The Threat of the New Anti-Semitism (2003)ABRAHAM FOXMAN

Never Again: Securing America and Restoring Justice (2006)JOHN D. ASHCROFT

Never Make Love in a Suit of ArmorMICHAEL GREEN, title of 1983 book

Never Sleep with a Fat Man in JulyMODINE GUNCH, title of 1993 book

Modine Gunch—often described as part Erma Bombeck, part Lewis Grizzard—is the creation of Liz Scott Monaghan, a New Orleans writer. A “Modine Gunch” column has been appearing monthly in New Orleans magazine for over twenty years. A 1990 Gunch book was also cleverly titled: Never Heave Your Bosom in a Front Hook Bra. Monaghan tells me that she is working on her next Modine book, and it may have her best title yet: Never Clean Your House During Hurricane Season. I don’t think she will mind if I give you a preview of the book’s opening line: “If I had known my house was going to be demolished, I wouldn’t have spent all day cleaning it.”

Never Eat More Than You Can Lift:

And Other Food Quotes and QuipsSHARON TYLER HERBST, title of 1997 book,

playing off a famous Miss Piggy line

Never Kiss and TellTRACIE HOWARD, title of 2004 book

Never Scratch a Tiger with a Short Stick:

And Other Quotes for LeadersGORDON S. JACKSON, title of 2003 book

Never Work Harder Than Your Students:

And Other Principles of Great TeachingROBYN RENEE JACKSON, title of 2009 book

Never Work for a JerkPATRICIA KING, title of 1987 book

Never Pay Retaiclass="underline"

How to Save 20 Percent to 80 Percent on Everything You BuySID KIRCHHEIMER, title of 1996 book

The goal of buying things at less than retail prices is deeply embedded in American culture. In 2010, Daisy Lewellyn wrote a book with a similar title: Never Pay Retail Again: Shop Smart, Spend Less, and Look Your Best Ever.

Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head

& Other DrawingsB. KLIBAN, title of 1976 book

Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand:

Curious Adventures of a CSIDANA KOLLMANN, title of 2007 book

Kollmann, a crime scene investigator with the Baltimore Police Department for more than ten years, got the title for her book from a mishap that occurred one bitterly cold night when she attempted to lift the fingerprints of a man who had died in a traffic accident. After normal fingerprinting methods failed to work, she carefully put each one of the dead man’s fingers inside her mouth to rehumidify it with her breath, making sure not to make any contact. After she successfully employed the technique with seven fingers, her hand slipped on the eighth attempt, and the man’s ring finger lodged in her mouth like a fish hook. It lasted for only a few seconds, but it grossed out Kollmann—and thoroughly entertained the many male cops who were present at the scene.

Never Trust a Pretty FaceAMANDA LEAR, title of 1979 album

Never Be Lied To Again:

How to Get the Truth in 5 Minutes or Less

in Any Conversation or SituationDAVID J. LIEBERMAN, title of 1999 book

And Never Stop Dancing:

Thirty More True Things You Need to Know NowGORDON LIVINGSTON, title of 2006 book

This was a sequel to Dr. Livingston’s 2004 bestseller Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart. In the sequel, he also advised: “Never mind dying with dignity; try living with dignity.”

Never Blink in a Hailstorm and Other Lessons on LeadershipDAVID L. MCKENNA, title of 2005 book

Never Sniff a Gift FishPATRICK F. MCMANUS, title of 1983 book

The title emerged when McManus and some friends were musing on the paucity of great hunting and fishing quotations. It’s similar to Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Never Ask a Man the Size of His Spread:

A Cowgirl’s Guide to LifeGLADIOLA MONTANA, title of 1993 book

This illustrated gift book, published around the time “cowboy wisdom” books were enjoying great popularity, contained these additional cowgirl rules:

Never venture onto thin ice with a fancy skater.

Never—under any circumstances—admit that you like to cook.

Never let yourself be drawn into a game

where you do not know the rules—ALL the rules.

Never Check E-Mail in the Morning:

And Other Unexpected Strategies for Making Your Work Life WorkJULIE MORGENSTERN, title of 2005 book

For almost twenty years, the first thing I’ve done every morning is check my e-mail, so I was tantalized by the title of Morgenstern’s book. When she recommended that people “break the e-mail habit” by spending the first hour of each day on high-level strategic thinking and other high-priority tasks, I clearly understood her reasoning. And I agree that it is a wonderful idea. But I still check my e-mail the first thing every morning.

Never Let a Skinny Guy Make SandwichesGENE MUELLER & BOB DENYER, title of 1993 book

Never Bite When a Growl Will DoMICHAEL NASTASI, title of 2006 book

Never Shower in a Thunderstorm:

Surprising Facts and Misleading Myths

About Our Health and the World We Live InANAHAD O’CONNOR, title of 2007 book

Never Trust a Calm Dog: And Other Rules of ThumbTOM PARKER, title of 1991 book

Never Look BackRIDLEY PEARSON, title of 1985 book

Over the years, nearly fifty books have been given the title Never Look Back. In Ridley’s novel—his first book—the saying was described as “The Cardinal Rule of Espionage.”

“Never Try to Trick Me with a Kiss”SYLVIA PLATH, title of 1946 poem

Never Love a StrangerHAROLD ROBBINS, title of 1948 book