Never throw mud.
You may miss your mark; but you must have dirty hands.JOSEPH PARKER, in Hidden Springs (1864)
Since the Roman Empire, throwing dirt has been a metaphor for hurling scurrilous and unsubstantiated charges against an adversary. The ancient practice was even promoted in a Latin proverb: “Throw plenty of dirt; some of it will be sure to stick.” In The New Language of Politics (1968), William Safire wrote that dirt-throwing began to be called mud-throwing or mudslinging shortly after the Civil War. It’s possible that Parker, an English clergyman, was partly responsible for the shift in terms. In a sermon from his 1864 book, he strongly advised against descending to personal attacks, saying, “Nothing is easier than to use bad names; but bad names are bad arguments.”
Never date a woman you can hear ticking.MARK PATINKIN, on dating women who
are watching their biological time clocks
Never despise a bridge which carries you safely over.AFRICAN PROVERB
Proverbs from many nations and cultural traditions have been expressed metaphorically. Here are a few more, along with their likely place of origin.
Never try to catch two frogs with one hand.(China)
Never show your teeth unless you’re prepared to bite.(France)
Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.(Ireland)
Never bolt your door with a boiled carrot.(Ireland)
Never take the antidote before the poison.(Italy)
Never let anyone see the bottom of your purse or your mind.(Italy)
Never bet the farm.AMERICAN PROVERB
To “bet the farm” is a longstanding metaphor about risking everything on a gamble. In 2006, Anthony Iaquinto and Stephen Spinelli borrowed the expression to title a book: Never Bet the Farm: How Entrepreneurs Take Risks, Make Decisions—and How You Can, Too. In their book, the two men laid out fifteen principles of entrepreneurial success. One was “Never bet the farm,” and another was “Never reach for a gallon when you only need a quart.” This latter saying could be interpreted in a number of ways, but Iaquinto and Spinelli applied it to setting goals, especially financial goals. They wrote:Why set overly ambitious goals that substantially increase your chances of being disappointed, regretful, and angry? Instead, set more modest goals that have a greater chance for success—goals that could still lead to your financial independence and will definitely make you a great deal more satisfied.
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.AMERICAN PROVERB
This warning about being preoccupied with the past is commonly attributed to the American humorist Will Rogers, but it has never been found in his speeches or writings.
Never spur a willing horse.AMERICAN PROVERB
A willing horse does not need to be spurred because it will get us to our destination without any extra prodding. Likewise with employees and others who are doing things for us.
Never buy a pig in a poke.ENGLISH PROVERB
Today, almost everyone knows that this means “Never purchase something before you examine it,” but relatively few know the origins of the saying. It dates to the fifteenth century, when a baby pig was often placed into a woven cloth sack—called a poke—after it had been sold at market. Some unscrupulous sellers, however, would surreptitiously slip a large cat into the poke, hoping to swindle unsuspecting buyers. For more than five hundred years, the expression to buy a pig in a poke has meant to buy something without investigation or examination. However, when a savvy—or suspicious—buyer insisted on seeing what was in the seller’s poke, the transaction would be completed, or not, depending on whether a piglet or a cat was in the bag. By the way, the popular expression about letting a cat out of the bag, which means “revealing a secret,” can also be traced to the practice of trying to sell a cat instead of a pig in a poke.
Never fall out with your bread and butter.ENGLISH PROVERB
For more than a century, “bread and butter” has been a metaphor to describe the way one makes a living.
Never make two bites of a cherry.ENGLISH PROVERB
If it’s a small job, do it all at once, according to this centuries-old saying. In English Proverbs Explained (1967), Ronald Ridout and Clifford Witting explained the proverb this way: “If a job can be done in one short spell of work, don’t break off and come back to it later.”
Never put your hand into a wasp’s nest.ENGLISH PROVERB
The message behind this saying shows up in a parental warning many of us heard when we were growing up: “Never go looking for trouble or you just might find it.”
Never foul your own nest.ENGLISH PROVERB
This saying advises against engaging in sexual affairs or romantic intrigue at one’s home or place of employment. It was well established in England by the nineteenth century (an 1870 piece in the Chambers Journal said, “ ‘Never foul your own nest’ is a homely English proverb”). As often happens with English proverbs that get picked up in America, the saying evolved into two more indelicate U.S. versions: “Never shit where you eat” and “Never shit on your own doorstep.” Two milder versions that have also become popular in America are:
Never make honey where you make your money.
Never buy your candy where you buy your groceries.
Never burn a penny candle looking for a half-penny.IRISH PROVERB
The closest equivalent to this proverb would be: “Never throw good money after bad.”
Never bray at an ass.RUSSIAN PROVERB
The underlying principle is: never stoop to your adversary’s level. A similar maxim goes this way: “Never get in a shouting match with a damn fool. Someone may walk in and not know which one is which.”
Never offer your hen for sale on a rainy day.SPANISH PROVERB
This saying stumped me at first, but when I discovered the meaning, it made perfect sense. If your hen’s feathers are wet, it will look small and unattractive rather than plump and healthy. The lesson? If you want to sell a product, present it in its best light.
Never fear shadows.
They simply mean there’s a light shining nearby.RUTH RENKEL, quoted in Reader’s Digest (1983)
Never build a case against yourself.ROBERT ROWBOTTON, quoted by Norman Vincent Peale
in You Can If You Think You Can (1987)
Never cut a tree down in the wintertime.ROBERT H. SCHULLER, in Hours of Power (2004)
Schuller was a child when his father told him about how, one winter, he sawed down a tree he thought was dead. When spring came, new sprouts emerged from the trunk, teaching him an important lesson. Schuller explained it this way: