After I'd returned to the living room, I was careful to stay away from the phone, so they could all have their time together. Finally, Robyn gestured to me that it was my turn. When I went over, she said, "Mom told me that she has to talk to you, and we should leave you alone while you're on the phone."
That said, Sandra handed me the phone, and the two of the headed into the bedroom, clearly upset at Lucy's instructions.
When I spoke, Lucy asked "Are you alone?"
"Yes", I answered, slightly mystified.
"I think there's something going on here, and I need some advice. I know what the people back at the office would tell me, but I don't thing it would be enough. I need someone with a little more imagination than that."
"Okay, go ahead."
"We've been here all day, me and the accountants. They do their thing, and at the end of the day, they tell me what's going on, along with a written report. Before we started, I told them that their written reports would be fine, but that in their verbal reports, I wanted to hear the stuff that they weren't comfortable putting on paper – that I*had* to know what was going on, and that nothing they told me would come back to bite them."
"Sounds like a good idea, so far. So what happened?"
"Their written reports are all by the numbers. But what they told me, in person, was that they were running into a lot of little problems."
"Such as?"
"Such as references to documents and files that they couldn't find.
Such as a lot of expenses – things that were just a*little* too high, and happened just a*little* too often – not enough to raise red flags, normally, but enough to raise a yellow flag, in these circumstances. Such as people hanging over them, and just generally getting in the way."
"And you need my help how?"
"I'm not quite sure what to make of all of it. Individually, these things are minor – they happen all the time. It's the number of them, and how often they're happening that's got me concerned. What I need is for someone else to think it through, so I know if I'm being paranoid or not."
"Okay. Let me think about it for a bit, and call you back. Go out and get something to eat, and I'll call you in, say, an hour?"
"You got it. Uh, were the girls upset that I chased them off?"
"A bit. They're in the bedroom, being outraged at the moment."
She sighed, and said, "Okay. Let me talk to them again before I hang up. If I don't, they won't have anyone to take it out on but you – and I love you too much to let*that* happen!"
I laughed, and put the phone on hold while I went in to tell the girls that Lucy wanted to talk to them again. While they marched out to see what other indignity they were going to have to endure, I lay down on the bed.
A few minutes later, they eased their way back in to lay next to me, but didn't disturb me as I thought through what Lucy had told me. I ran through a number of possibilities, trying to figure out how the things she'd told me fit together – and what each of the situations I came up might mean to Lucy, and her company. After a while, Robyn started nudging me, and when I looked at her, she told me "You're supposed to call Mom in ten minutes. She told me to make sure I reminded you, if you were busy."
I thanked her, and she added, "Mom told us something was going on where she was, and that she needed you to help her think about what it was. That was why she didn't want us bothering you – so you could help her. I'm sorry if I was being a turd."
"Me, too", Sandra added.
I thanked them for their apology, and they got up to head into the living room. I collected and organized my thoughts, and met Sandra as she was heading into the bedroom to give me another reminder. I asked her to bring me a beer, and told her that she and Robyn could share one, too, as long as they were quiet while I was on the phone. She responded "Of course!", and headed for the kitchen. She left the beer on the desk as Lucy answered the phone, and when she heard me say Lucy's name, made a hasty retreat to the couch.
I told Lucy "Okay, from what you've told me, I can only come up with three possibilities. I don't have enough information – not your fault! – to say which one it is. What I can do, though, is tell you what you need to know, or find out, to help figure out which one it is."
"Okay, what did you come up with?", she asked.
"First possibility is that they're just nervous about the – what did you call it? – audit, and how sudden it happened, or some other benign reason. Uncalled for, maybe, but reasonable.
"Second possibility is that a few people, I'd say middle management or so, have been making up their own perks along the way. Nothing major, really, like systematic fraud, but not something to be ignored, either. They know it, and are worried about being found out.
"The third choice is that one or more people near the top have been up to something, and have issued the command that you're not to be helped – if not outright blocked. That option raises some ugly possibilities."
"That's the one that I was worried about, but knew I didn't have anything to pin it on. You said that you could tell me how I can find out which one it is?", she replied.
"Sure. If it was me, I'd call in the rank-and-file types, and just tell them that you're there as part of a normal audit, and that it was called suddenly so your client could get a 'snapshot' of how things were going. You're not looking for anything in particular, just the general situation. If it's just nerves, they should settle down, and you and the accountants can do your thing, just like always."
"What next?"
"If that doesn't help, make it clear that you're looking at middle managers – particularly the nervous ones. If it's them, once it's clear where your attention is, your accountants should stop tripping over most of the lower level employees: they won't have any reason or motivation to get in the way, any more, since it will be 'obvious' that you're on to what's been happening."
"And?"
"If a change of focus doesn't do it, then I'd have to suspect the executive level. You know where the problem is in an organization by where the trouble stops. That's what you're trying to find out by reassuring the lower levels, then focusing on the managers. There's going to be*some* overlap because of office politics, but nothing systemic like what you'd see with executives being involved. You know what to look for, now. I trust that you can handle the HOW to look for it – that's something I couldn't help with, any way."
She snorted, and said, "I'm not sure I believe that, but I'll take your word for it. Yeah, I can handle the 'political' part of it. What happens if it turns out to be the executives? How can I prove it's them?"
"In that case, you'll have to do a lot of computer work: finding missing files, tracing what went where and when, tracking the order things happened in, and so on. Think of it as a data autopsy."
"I've got no idea how to do anything like that."
"That's okay. Your company's computer people should be able to tell you. If you don't understand something, ask them. If you still don't understand, I'll try to explain. If the worst case turns out to be true, then you might have another problem, though."
"What's that?"
"If these folks are up to something, there*could* be the argument made that your company's IT people aren't impartial – you know, your client is having a problem, so your people come in to help them, instead of finding the 'truth'."
She sighed again, saying, "I hadn't thought of that one. You're probably right. What then?"
"If it comes down to that point, you'll need to find someone else, outside your company. I can make some recommendations, if you need or want them."