Remembering the surge of righteous vengeance that had bled into him when she’d crushed the other mage, Julius wasn’t sure overboard was the right word. He would have picked “mad with power.” He didn’t say so, though, because Marci already looked guilt stricken enough.
“I’m so, so sorry, Julius,” she said, letting go of his shoulder at last. “Not about what I did—I would have burned them all if I could—but because I hurt you to do it. I’m sorry for all of it, actually. I’m sorry I sucked you into my mess of a life, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about the Kosmolabe earlier, and I’m very sorry I went crazy with the questions just now. I’ve been curious about dragons forever, and finally getting to talk to one was more than my brain could handle. But I’ve got it together now, and I promise I don’t think of you as my own private dragon resource center. I’ll never ask you another question again if you don’t want me to, just don’t go. You’re the nicest, most considerate person I’ve ever met. You deserve much better than I’ve treated you, but I promise I’ll be better. Just give me another chance. Please?”
The please pulled him right back into the car. He closed the door and sank back into his seat, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. It wasn’t a question anymore of whether he would stay—there was no way he could do otherwise after that—but he didn’t know what to do about the rest of it, especially the part at the end. Because when she said nice and considerate like they were the best compliments she could give, he wanted to be those things. He wanted to be the person she thought he was, the one who deserved that warm, sparkling look in her eyes, and that was a serious problem. It was one thing to tell Justin he was done pretending to be a good dragon, but if Julius started actually trying to be what she said, he wasn’t sure he’d be a dragon at all.
He sighed and shifted his fingers to peek at Marci, but she was still staring at him like her whole life hinged on his next words. His did too, he realized, because whether or not he managed to sort out his own mess, staying with Marci meant he was going to have to tell her the truth, and Julius wasn’t at all certain she’d feel the same way after she heard it.
“I’m not going to go,” he said, dropping his hands to face her at last. “And I’m not mad at you, either, just overwhelmed. I should have told you what I was before now, but I was afraid to, and not just for the reasons you think.”
Marci frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Our two species don’t exactly have the best history together,” he said, trying his best not to fidget. “Most humans see dragons as either a threat to be eliminated or a power to be tamed and used, and with good reason. We deserve all the fear and mistrust aimed at us. Dragons see humans as pets at best, and you don’t want to know about the worst.”
Marci arched an eyebrow, and Julius scrambled to add, “Not that I see you like that, of course, but I’m a little different from the rest of my family. I’m also in a lot of trouble with them right now, and I don’t know if I can protect you if they find out you’re with me.”
“You don’t need to protect me,” Marci said, pulling herself straight. “I’m—”
“A very good mage,” Julius finished with a smile. “Believe me, I know. That’s not what I meant.”
She still looked miffed, and he blew out a breath, trying to think how best to explain this. “Dragons think of things in terms of tools and ownership,” he said at last. “So long as you were just some random mage I hired, you were a tool, which is the safest thing to be. You don’t kill someone and then go break his hammer out of spite. Now that you know what I am, though, things are different. Even if I claim otherwise, my family will see you as my human from here out, which means when they target me, they’ll also target you.”
She nodded. “And since you’re in trouble, you think that’s going to happen.”
It was practically guaranteed seeing how Justin had already told their mother that Marci was Julius’s. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. Just knowing that I’m a dragon is enough to make you a liability, and I’m not a big enough threat to keep others away if they decide not to tolerate it. It would have been a lot safer for you if we’d broken the contract as soon as I realized Katya wasn’t at that party, but I needed your help, and I—”
“And you didn’t want to leave me to face Bixby alone,” she finished, grinning.
He’d been about to say that he liked her, but if she wanted to see it that way, that was fine with him. “I’m afraid I’ve only made things worse now. You think Bixby’s bad? He doesn’t even touch the Heartstrikers.”
Marci gasped. “You’re a Heartstriker?”
He blinked, confused. “You’ve heard of us?” Most humans didn’t know one clan from another.
“Of course I’ve heard of you!” she cried. “I was a little girl who grew up obsessed with magic and magical creatures in Nevada. The entire southwestern US is Heartstriker territory. You guys were my home team. Wait, so if you’re a Heartstriker, does that mean the Bethesda I talked to on your phone last night was the Heartstriker?”
When Julius nodded, she sucked in a breath so fast he worried she’d hyperventilate. “I talked to a great dragon!”
“You were almost killed by a great dragon,” Julius snapped, grabbing her hands. “This is what I’m trying to explain. Even among dragons, my mother is considered ruthless and prideful. She’s had humans killed for wearing the same dress as her to a party. If Justin hadn’t grabbed the phone last night, she probably would have ordered me to kill you just for daring to speak to her. I’d have had to do it, too. I can’t disobey a direct order from my mother.”
Marci didn’t look cowed in the least, and Julius let out an enormous sigh.
“See? This is exactly what I’m talking about. Dragons and humans don’t mix. Dragons and dragons barely mix.”
He glared hard as he said this, trying his best to frighten her into accepting just how dangerous this game was. Apparently, though, he was bad at this, too, because Marci’s face melted into a warm smile.
“It’s really sweet how you’re working so hard to scare me into backing off,” she said. “Pointless, but very sweet. You know, you’re nothing like how I imagined a dragon would be. I’d always heard you guys were cold and calculating, the sort who would stroke your hair while stabbing you in the back.”
“Most dragons are.”
“But not you.”
She grinned wider as she said this, and Julius took a deep breath. “No, I’m not. And that’s why we’re both in trouble.”
Marci’s smile faded, and Julius breathed deep again, building up his courage. Here went nothing.
“I’m a failure,” he confessed. “I’m not ruthless or cunning or any of the things dragons are supposed to be. That curse you saw on me? It was put there by my mother to seal my true form, sort of a combination test and punishment. That’s why I’m on this job, actually. I’m supposed to be proving myself as a dragon so I can earn my wings back, but seeing how I’m explaining all of this instead of just threatening to turn you over to Bixby unless you swear to serve me for eternity, I’m clearly messing it up. That’s okay, though, because I don’t want to be like that, but it’s important that you understand I’m a really, really bad dragon. The others aren’t like me at all, and when they come, I won’t be able to stop them.”