Bernard Leviton, Gray Winograd, Susan Minelli. Three separate social network pages but one story: a trio of TV writers, alumni of a long-running late-night show, had pooled resources by renting out their L.A. homes to leverage several Section Eight apartment buildings downtown. That in place, they moved to states with no local income tax.
Evada Lane had been Susan Minelli’s residence so Milo began with her.
Voicemail; same for Bernard Leviton in Seattle. The converted Texan, Gray Winograd, wasn’t home but his wife was.
“This is Meryl. The po-lice?” Bored voice, syllables elongated as if to prolong conversation.
Milo said, “This is about the property on Evada Lane.”
Meryl Winograd said, “That place? Something happened? What?”
“We’re doing a routine investigation.”
“That sounds like movie dialogue. What did you say your name was?”
Milo repeated his credentials.
“Hold on... I just looked you up and you seem to be the real deal. What’s your actual police phone number so I can make sure?”
Milo told her.
She said, “You sound mellow, guess I’ll believe you. So what do you want to know about that place?”
“The tenants—”
“No idea about any of Gray and his pals’ little endeavors. It all goes through the managers they hired.”
“Who are the managers?”
“Some company named Aswan, Aslan, something like that,” said Meryl Winograd. “They’re no great shakes.”
“You’ve had problems—”
“Apparently they’re a humongous outfit and Gray and his pals are teensy french fries. I keep telling Gray being a landlord is a job not a hobby.”
“You said, ‘That place,’ as if there’d been specific problems at Evada.”
“You’re reading too much into that, I don’t know details and I don’t care,” said Meryl Winograd. “The whole real estate thing isn’t my thing, they thought they’d be tycoons, meanwhile I’m in Texas. It’s kind of cute, here, good food and music, but my allergies and oh God the humidity.”
“So you’re not aware of any—”
“If there was a serious problem, Gray would be bitching about it and he’s not. So how’s the weather in L.A.?”
“Nice.”
“Figures.”
A call to Aslan Property Management brought up layers of manically paced, mostly incomprehensible button-push instructions. Multi-city company specializing in shopping centers and huge residential complexes.
Milo held the phone at arm’s length as the robotic voice on the other end continued to natter. The 0 for Operator option brought up another automaton.
He clicked off. I said, “The castle moat for when tenants complain.”
“Gimme some hot oil and a catapult.”
The rented house on Marquette Place belonged officially to no one.
Once the home of Herbert McClain, deceased at age ninety-one, it had entered into probate six months ago because McClain had died intestate.
The court-appointed trustee was an attorney named Mitchell Light with an office near the downtown court building. Maybe one of those Hill Street hangers-on who dole out holiday gift baskets to judges and wait for assignments.
That guess was kicked up to probable when Milo found Light’s garish website featuring an improbably black-haired man in a bad suit whose cap-filled smile screamed trying too hard.
Light’s dual specialties were “easing the grief burden of survivors as they enter the world of probate court” and “speedily solving the problems of accident victims wronged by insurance companies.”
Milo said, “Slip, fall, die, he’s got you covered. Here goes more nothing.”
To his shock, one of three garishly green “24 hour numbers” on Light’s site banner was picked up on the second ring.
“This is Mitch,” said a radio-announcer baritone. “What problem can I solve for you, my friend?”
Milo told him.
Mitchell Light, now subdued, said, “Police? I have no specific recollection of that property.”
“You’re the trustee, Mr. Light.”
“I’m currently shepherding numerous estates through probate. The courts are overwhelmed, everything crawls.”
“But you get your commission along the way.”
“Do you work for free?” said Mitchell Light. “No need to be implicative, Lieutenant. I’ll do my best to get you any information I have. If such information proves ultimately available and obtainable.”
“Thank you. When could you do that, sir?”
“In as timely a manner as circumstances provide. Assuming no legal roadblocks or other encumbrances materialize.”
“Could you give me an estimate, Mr. Light?”
“I’m in Cabo, right now, plan to be back in three days. The process will begin shortly after. Assuming no unforeseen circumstances.”
“Could a member of your staff check—”
“My staff is with me, Lieutenant.”
Female giggle in the background.
Milo said, “There’s nothing you can tell me? Herbert McClain, died at ninety-one—”
“Good for him,” said Light. “If he’d written a will, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Clink of glasses, more giggling.
Milo said, “How about the tenants? Can you recall anything about them?”
Silence.
“Mr. Light?”
“What tenants?”
“The place is currently occupied by—”
“That’s unacceptable,” said Mitchell Light. “I do not allow tenancy in my properties. Avoiding complications.”
My properties. If probate went on long enough, his invoice would probably buy him the deed.
Milo said, “What type of complications?”
“Some alleged heir shows up and carps about the rent or the management? I keep all my properties vacant, Lieutenant.”
“Someone’s living in that one.”
“Then you need to investigate and you need to mete out appropriate fines, penalties, whichever consequences are called for. When I return in four days, get back in touch with me. I’ll certainly be initiating eviction procedures.”
“Do I have your permission to enter the residence?”
“Well, I’d think so, Lieutenant.”
“Could you put that in writing?”
“I told you, I’m on corporate retreat.”
“How about by email?”
Long exhalation. Followed by a female murmur.
Mitchell Light said, “I will attempt that. But don’t count on it, the Internet’s sloppy, here.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Preserving the rule of law,” said Mitchell Light, “is my passion.”
I said, “Squatting made easy. Check probate records, find out who’s not paying attention, and move in.”
Milo’s desk phone jangled.
“This is Susan Minelli,” said a crisp, confident voice. “The police are asking about my old house? Why?”
Milo said, “The tenants are people of interest in a case, Ms. Minelli. What can you tell us about them?”
“Some sort of financial thing?” said Minelli.
“Can’t get into details, ma’am.”
“You just did,” she said. “Okay, a money thing. Shit. Why am I not shocked?”
“You’ve had money issues with them in the past?”
“They’ve always been late with the rent and haven’t paid a dime for the past five months. I only found out because we just got the quarterly from the management firm and there’s a big hole on that one. I demanded Aslan — the managers — deal with it. They said eviction is the only option. They’re being sloths. My partners and I had already discussed hiring someone else, now for sure, as soon as the contract’s up.”