I tried to stay away from her, God knows. I’d make sure I was outside when she was in, and be sweepin’ the floor or somethin’ when she was out. I’d walk a block around the Deepwater in the afternoon, instead of comin’ to work ’long the way she did. I never looked in her face none.
But she was after me, that was sure. She’d be brushing up against me when we passed. Lickin’ her lips. straightening her body with her hands, whisperin’ soft, silky things in my ear when I was workin’ — doin’ all that kind of thing. I was goin’ crazy. She was makin’ me think things, too. Things I din’t want to think. Things Mam told me wasn’t right for me to think.
I’m not made of stone, God knows. I know it ain’t right for me to want a woman, ’cause I ain’t quite as smart as most, but that went on and on and on, till I swear I finally started goin’ crazy. You got to believe me when I tell you I din’t want none of that. I’m just a person, that’s all. I just wanted her to let me be. It’s not that I felt sorry for myself, but she was doin’ somethin’ wasn’t natural, wasn’t decent and sure wasn’t right.
Then three nights ago, she got me to her house.
“I got packages I need you to carry, Charles,” she said, leaning toward me over the bar. Everybody in the Deepwater was takin’ their tenth drink of the evening — the bar was full. It was that time of night, and everyone just stopped quiet and watched what was gonna happen. Even Poppa Jango got puckered up like he does when he’s scared.
“Sorry, Miss Lottie, I gotta go straight home after work. Mam is down with the croup and I gotta …”
“I want you to carry for me, Charles,” she said, and her voice was so hard I thought sure it’d shatter.
“No, I …” I started to say no again, but I felt Mr. Herm’s big hand on my shoulder. I knew it was him. Then I knew I was gonna be in trouble. Right then was when I knew, so help me God!
“You givin’ the lady trouble, scum-boy?”
I looked up over my shoulder. I’m not real small but he was big, almost six foot five, I guess. All bigness. He had a body like dough. I knew if I ever did get a chance to whomp him — no matter where I whomped him — it wouldn’t mean a thing; he’d just soak up my fist like it was sinking in a pillow. He’d never feel it, then he’d up and kill me. He was so mean, it was comin’ outen his eyes.
“No,” I said, looking at the floor between Miss Lottie’s high heel shoes. “No trouble. No trouble at all, Mr. Herm.”
I din’t see it, but I knew they was grinnin’ at each other. I could feel it. Her with that evil smile that said, “I love doin’ bad!” and him with his all-over hate-smile, sayin’, “We gonna get you soon, white trash!”
I felt my throat like it had a knot in it, so I swallowed. I tried so hard not to let them know I was worried. If I ran fast, I could leave her packages and get away from her house quick.
“What you want me to carry, Miss Lottie?”
Mr. Herm took his hand off me, off my shoulder. I thought a rock had lifted from me. I looked up.
They was both smilin’ at each other like I thought they was.
I set the packages down on the table and started to leave.
“Wait a minute, Charles,” Miss Lottie said. She said it real low, and in a voice I knew would boil half the men that came into the Deepwater.
She was really tryin’ to get me, I was sure of that. ’Cause she’d stayed with me ever since she’d gotten off work at the Cafe. It was gonna be open till later and I had to get back, to clean up when they closed. She knew that. But she wouldn’t let me go. I tried to leave once but she called me back, told me to stay with her.
“Protect me, Charles,” she’d said, smilin’ nasty. “I don’t want none of them dirty boys to rape me when I go home.” Then she laughed real mean. I knew she didn’t mean it, ’cause nobody’d bother her with Mr. Herm being her boy friend. Besides, all they’d had to do is give her five dollars. They din’t have to force her. I’d heard tell about it from the men once.
“I got to go. Miss Lottie,” I told her. She leaned against the back door, and shrugged off her coat. It was one of them little halfie things, and she let it fall to the floor. “I got to go,” I said again, and I felt my throat ball up again. Her eyes narrowed down to real finey slits, and I could see she was tryin’ to do me. She was tryin’!
“Stay around a bit, Charles,” she said, swayin’ towards me. I stepped back and wanted to run, but there wasn’t no place to run. I din’t know her house and she’d of locked the front door. Besides, she’d just of got mad, and told Mr. Herm, and I’d be as bad off as ever. She was tryin’ to do me!
“You stay here a minute, Charles. I have to take a bath, then I’ll be goin’ over to meet Mr. Herm. I’ll want you to walk me back.” She had changed, sort of. She wasn’t as slinky as she’d been a second before. Now she was kind of businessy, like she really did want me just to hang around so’s I could protect her. That din’t seem right though, ’cause her house was only a block or less from the Deepwater and Mr. Herm could sure as not hear her yell if something wasn’t right.
I didn’t like it at all. I guess I ain’t too smart, because if she had anything planned, I sure couldn’t figure it out. But I wasn’t gonna balk her none. “Okay, Miss Lottie,” I said. I sat down in a kitchen chair.
She went out and I started to get up. Then I sat back down again. I couldn’t run off. There weren’t nowhere to run.
I heard the water running upstairs. I wondered why Miss Lottie was goin’ to all this trouble, just to do me. Why didn’t she just make it up that I’d tried to touch her or made a noise at her, then Mr. Herm could beat me up without no trouble. Why was that?
Then I thought something that scared me right up. What if Mr. Herm wanted to kill me, maybe? He’d do it, alright. He was that bad — he’d do it! What if then?
I knew right away why Miss Lottie was doin’ it. I knew why. It was ’cause she was mean. That woman was as nasty as Mr. Herm hisself, and she liked to see a man suffer. I’d heard how she married once and had a kid, but her old man was mean and beat her up, and she left him and the kid. That’s what I’d heard. I don’t know how true it was — just I heard it. But she liked to see men unhappy, that was plain. And she was fixin’ to make me unhappy. Right then, honest, I hated her worse than anything. I just wanted to be left be. I wasn’t makin’ no trouble.
“Charles!” I heard her voice come driftin’ downstairs. “Come up here a minute.” Oh, Lord, I knew she had somethin’ bad in mind, and I din’t want to go. But she kept callin’ and finally yelled she’d tell Mr. Herm and he’d stomp me if I didn’t do like she said. So I went upstairs.
I knew bad was gonna happen. I just knew it!
She was sittin’ in the tub. The water trickles were all over her body and little round drops were in her brown hair, and on her breasts, and all over. She was beautiful that way. Just a little bit pink from the warm water, and the rippling that I could see right through, see all of her in that tab. She had those long legs pulled up together, huggin’ her knees, and when I came into the open doorway, she let them slip down, slow.
I turned my face away. I didn’t want to see that. I looked all over at that bathroom. All the pink curtains and the perfumes on the glass shelf, and the fingernail stuff to file and paint and make her beautiful. I looked at all that stuff laying there.
Then I had to look back at her. I couldn’t help myself none. Ain’t nobody could blame me a bit I had to.