“This is Miss Leary,” Max said. “She’s playing the role of hostage, though with a disappointing lack of conviction. I let the others go.”
“Oh, you an Englishman now?” Miss Leary said. “Why don’t you make up your mind who you are before you go robbing banks? You know this man?” she said to Owen. “Would you inform him, please, that his ass is in a world of trouble?”
“You have to let her go,” Owen said. “There must be a hundred cops out there. Snipers. Helicopters. The works.”
“Well, yes, that’s the point,” Max said. “If I let Miss Leary go, all those guns are very likely to go off.”
“Max,” Owen said, “the show is over. You’re not getting out of this. The only question is how hard you want to make it on yourself. The sooner you let her go, the easier things will be.”
“The sooner I’ll be back in Sing Sing, you mean.”
“Don’t you talk trash to this boy when he’s telling you the truth,” Miss Leary said. “Mister, I get the feeling you a whole lot dumber than you look.”
“Madam, can you not at least try to understand your role?” Max said. “Could we have some cowering, please? Some begging? Quivering?”
“The only person going to be begging around here, Doctor, is you when I get the chance to kick your fat ass.”
“Casting problems,” Max said to Owen. “Make an error in casting and no amount of good writing or good direction can make up for it. Look what I’m stuck with.” He gestured at Miss Leary as if she had been delivered to his door by mistake.
“You think you in some kind of movie here? This my life we’re talking about. Yours too, and this sensible young man’s as well.”
“Madam, you don’t know him,” Max said. “He’s the least sensible person I’ve ever met. Wants to be an actor.”
“Max,” Owen said, “I told them you’d let her go, that you don’t really want to hurt anyone.”
“Thank you for that, Owen. That’s very helpful. I do hope your acting career takes off, because you’re not what I’d call a first-class negotiator.”
“Young man, would you tell this old party to undo this handcuff?” Miss Leary pulled up on her manacle, shaking it. “Believe it or not, I do not enjoy being held prisoner in my place of employment.”
“You’re not a real prisoner,” Max said. “You’re only playing one.”
“Well, if that’s the case, and we all just on a movie set, I’d like to go to my trailer now, please.”
“Max, give me the key,” Owen said.
Max went over to the window and peered out between the blinds. “The plan was good,” he said. “I had backups and redundancies built in. For example, a change of clothes. Unfortunately, I forgot to bring them, and if you say I told you so, I shall smite you.”
“Max, give me the key and let’s get Miss Leary out of here. You can use me as a hostage.”
The phone on the floor rang.
“Take a message,” Max said. “Tell them I’m at the club.”
Owen picked up the phone.
“Saperstein. What’s the progress, kid?”
“Miss Leary will be coming out in a minute,” Owen said. “Make sure no guns go off by accident.”
“Nothing’s going to happen by accident. You just send her out and we’ll take care of her. But I’m warning you, do not try anything fancy. Anyone who makes any sudden moves when she comes out is going to get shot, you understand?”
“I understand.”
Owen hung up. Max was back in his executive chair, rocking it.
“Max, give me the key.”
“I’m ashamed to say I forgot it.”
“Jesus Christ, Max. Do you hear how ridiculous that is? I told you you should be seeing a doctor, getting tests done, but no-you had to rob a goddamn bank. Fine, she can go out in the chair. It’s got wheels. I’ll push her out the door and they can come and get her.”
“Actually, I was just kidding.”
Max reached into the pocket of his scrubs and pulled out the tiny key. Owen undid the handcuff and Miss Leary stood up. Max, ever the gentleman, stood up as well.
“Get you gone, madam.”
Miss Leary looked him up and down, hands on hips. “Mister, you are too smart to be pulling shit like this. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“Thank you for auditioning. Don’t call us.”
The woman folded her arms across her impressive chest and rested her weight on one cocked hip. “You a fool, and that’s the truth.”
“Madam, I said get you gone. Why do you linger?”
She pointed at Owen. “Frankly, I am concerned about this boy. I don’t want you using him as some kind of bargaining chip.”
“Oh, no, that’s okay,” Owen said. “I’ll be all right.”
“I don’t think so, sugar. Why don’t you come out with me?”
“Really. Max is my-” Owen looked over at Max. The old man gave him the slightest of New York shrugs, perhaps a last vestige of Dr. Pfeffernan. “Max is my uncle. The detective in charge out there knows the score. You just go ahead, Miss Leary, and I’ll be fine. I’m sorry for your inconvenience.”
“Inconvenience!” Miss Leary shook her head slowly back and forth. “Honey, you get out of this alive, got to be a job waiting for you in public relations. Inconvenience.”
Owen held the door open for her.
Miss Leary turned for one last look at Max. “I hate to tell you this, sugar, but your old man on a one-way ticket to Crazytown,” she said, and stepped out into the glare of Madison Avenue.
“Well, I hope you’re pleased,” Max said. “Now that we’re rendered defenceless.”
Owen watched as two cops in helmets and body armour jogged out to take Miss Leary by the arms and hustle her away.
The phone rang again.
“Good job, Owen,” Saperstein said. “Now let’s follow the same procedure with you and your uncle. You come out one at a time, him first. Hands in the air, understand?”
“Wait a minute. Why one at a time? I don’t like that.”
“One at a time because we don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Max isn’t going to hurt me.” Owen looked over at Max. “I’m more worried about you hurting him.”
“I understand that, kid, but we have to handle this the safest way for all concerned. Soon as you get out, you lie down on the sidewalk, hands above your head.”
“Me too?”
“You too. We have no way of knowing if he’s passed you a weapon or not. It’s not like you’re a hundred percent hostage, is it? So, no sudden moves or someone’s gonna get killed, understand?”
“I still don’t like the one-at-a-time thing.”
“Kid, your father, uncle or whatever he is, happens to be an armed bank robber who has taken hostages.”
“But you just said I’m not really a hostage. Don’t worry, I’ll bring him out and no one needs to get hurt.”
“Kid, one at a time, I’m telling you. Don’t try anything else, or-”
Owen hung up and told Max what Saperstein had said.
“Thank you, my boy, but I believe they have the right idea. Better to go out one at a time.”
“No, I’m not doing it that way,” Owen said. “As long as I’m beside you, they’re not going to shoot.”
“I envy your certainty. No, the safest thing is for you to go out first, then me.”
“We go out together, Max.”
Max rubbed a hand across his hair, came across the surgical mask and pulled it off, studying it. “You know, from now on I’m going to devote more of my time to the sciences. I believe I have the makings of an excellent doctor.”
“Well, you’re going to have lots of time to study, so let’s go.”
Max reached out and closed a hand around Owen’s forearm. “Listen, boy. About before …”
“I can’t even think about that now, Max.”
“I just want to be sure you understand. I never-”
“Max, please. Before they decide to throw tear gas in here and blast us to kingdom come.”
“You’re my boy, understand? Far as I’m concerned, no matter what else, you’re my boy. Best part of my life. You know, when you first came to live with me, you were still very small. Sometimes I’d come home and you’d run to me and I’d hoist you in the air and spin you around, and you giggled like a magical sprite. A creature not of this earth, of finer stuff. Or you’d take hold of my leg and cling like a limpet. I’d have to hobble around the house with you hanging on my leg. An absolute monkey. I loved you like my own, lad. Love you like my own.”