They believe their own creation of themselves and can't understand why everyone else isn't convinced they're wonderful."
He jumped down from the limb, then stared up at me, his eyes sparking with anger. "It's efficient, I guess, judging an individual by a group. You don't waste any time trying to know somebody."
But I don't want to know you! I thought as I watched Mike walk away. I can't risk knowing you.
Experience had taught me not to get close to guys who fell in love with Liza. I had been burned twice and knew I couldn't compete. It didn't matter that I could no longer give a guy access to my sister; if Mike knew who I was, I'd be access to his romantic memories of her. He'd start looking for traits and signs of her in me. And I wasn't setting myself up for that kind of heartache.
How are you doing, Jenny?" Maggie asked me Thursday morning.
"Good. Ready to go."
"Glad to hear it," she said. "We're going to work at the gym later today to block your movements. Walker thought it would be good if Tomas went with us.
Knowing the set and being as visual as he is, he might see some possibilities we don't."
"Sounds like fun."
"Also, I'm photocopying a set of relaxation exercises and organizing tapes for you to listen to."
"Sorry to be so much trouble," I said.
"Nonsense," Maggie replied, putting an arm around me, giving me a hug. "I love a good challenge."
"Maggie," Walker called. "I need you to get maintenance. Arthur still hasn't replaced those lights."
She winked and moved on. From across the stage, Brian smiled at me.
"I know who the camp pet is," a girl said.
I turned my head to see who had spoken, then wished I hadn't. Ken was standing next to Paul and Mike, hoping for a reaction. I ignored her and called to Shawna, who had just come in.
"Jenny didn't hear you," Paul said.
"Oh, I think she did," Keri replied. "Hey, Shawna. Don't you think Jenny is the camp pet?"
"She's the camp redhead, that's for sure," Shawna answered.
"Obviously, I'm not Walker's pet," I pointed out.
Keri flicked her long, dark-lined eyelids. Perhaps conflict kept her from being totally bored. "Walker gave you a hard time at first," she said, "something he does with all his favorites. Usually, he doesn't share favorites with Maggie. She likes girls who aren't sure of themselves, girls she can mother. But then, there is that little problem of yours."
"Ease up, Keri," Shawna said.
"So she's adopted you," Keri continued, "made you her project for camp. And Brian is close to sending kisses from across the stage."
I glanced at Mike, who stood silently, his face providing no hint of what he was thinking. I knew my cheeks were red.
Paul laughed. Standing close behind Keri, as if he would hug her from behind, he leaned his head over her shoulder and pressed his face against hers.
I saw Keri's shoulders relax, her body rest back against him.
But the glimmer in Paul's green eyes told me he didn't feel any real affection for her; he was just yanking her chain.
"I don't like Jenny," he said, his mouth against Keri's cheek. "She's not my pet."
Keri turned her face toward his, letting her mouth brush his mouth.
Paul's hands cupped her shoulders and he pushed her away. "You try too hard."
Keri spun around to look at him.
"The girls who are worth it don't try," Paul told her. "They are helpless to stop a guy from wanting them."
Keri's eyes flashed. "Liza was never helpless," she spat. "Only you were."
They walked off in opposite directions. Shawna, Mike, and I stood silently for a moment.
"Walker sure is good at casting people," Shawna observed. "It won't be hard for anyone to believe they're a quarreling couple."
"I don't know why he can't let go of Liza," Mike said.
As much as I didn't like Paul, I knew how Liza could haunt a person's thoughts. "It's not easy when you love someone," I said. "A year is not enough time to get over anything."
Mike's eyes met mine.
"Unless you're acting, of course."
"Of course," he replied stiffly.
"Did I just miss something?" Shawna asked as Mike strode away.
"Like what?"
"Well, you can begin by explaining to me why you just defended Paul, who's being ignorant and creepy. You know, he has pictures of Liza hanging in his room, hanging all around it, that's what Andrew told me."
I wriggled my shoulders at the thought of it-a museum for the dead.
"Paul needs to get on with his life. It's not like he and Liza were the love story of the century. The guy Liza was hot for was Mike."
"So I heard."
"Not that she was alone in that," Shawna added. "How 'bout you, girlfriend?"
"How 'bout me what?"
"What do you think of Mike?"
I shrugged. "He's okay."
Shawna grinned. "This place is just full of actors."
The acting began in earnest shortly after that. Walker required that we all be attentive to the blocking that was going on whether we were in the scene or not. It was slow work as we highlighted our lines and noted Walker's directions in our books-the cues on which we were to enter, or rise, or cross over, that kind of thing.
We dragged through Act 2 with the fairies. Having doubled them in number, Walker had created more parts and a lot of confusion. But the pace picked up when Oberon and Titania-Paul and Ken-began to quarrel. I watched them from the wings, waiting for my cue. Walker folded his arms over his chest, looking very satisfied when Titania finally exited with her fairies.
I waited in the wings.
" 'Well go thy way,' " the angry Oberon said to Titania's back. " 'Thou shalt not from this grove till I torment thee for this injury.' " I began to move.
"Wait! What are you doing, Puck?" Walker barked.
I stood still. "Entering?"
"Has Oberon summoned you yet?" Walker asked. "Has he? He's king. You don't emerge till he tells you to."
I backed up.
"I want you in at the end of 'My gentle Puck,'" Walker added in a milder voice, "and I want you to move close to him. You're conspirators. That line again," Walker said to Paul.
" 'Well go thy way. Thou shalt not from this grove till l-' " The lights flickered, — torment thee.
The lights blinked off. We were swallowed by darkness. Someone screamed, then muffled it.
"What the…?" growled Walker. "Arthur!"
Our only light was the glow of the emergency Exit signs and the strings of tiny floor lights that marked the way to them.
"Everyone stay where you are," Maggie said. "We don't want an accident."
"Brian, find Arthur!" Walker ordered.
"Does anyone have a flashlight?" Brian asked. "Even a small one on a key chain would help."
Two girls seated in the audience volunteered theirs.
"Pass the flashlights toward the center aisle," Maggie instructed.
There was whispering and nervous laughter as Brian retrieved the flashlights, then crossed the stage to the steps that led to the ground floor hall.
Suddenly the whispering stopped.
"What's that?" someone asked, her voice thin with apprehension. "What do I smell?"
"Perfume," a guy answered.
I sniffed and my skin prickled. I knew the scent.
"Smells like jasmine," said another girl.
Liza's perfume. I remembered the weeks after she'd died, packing her sweaters in a Goodwill bag, smelling the jasmine. I had felt as if she would walk into our bedroom at any moment. It was a scent that haunted.
The lights suddenly came back on.
"Nobody move," Maggie commanded. "I'm doing a head count."
The vets exchanged glances-perhaps they recognized my sister's trademark scent.
"Look at Paul," someone whispered.