Now Wait for Last Year

'You remind me,' he said, 'of Minister Freneksy.'

She pushed by him, toward Gino's door. 'I want to go on in; good-by.'

'Did you know that Gino died there in that conference room today?'

'Yes, he had to. Just for a few moments, of course; not long enough to muddle his brain cells. And of course you and Teagarden cooled him right down; I know about that, too. Why do I remind you of Freneksy, that crulp!' She came back toward him, studying him intently. 'I'm not like him at all. You're just trying to make me sore so I'll tell you something.'

Eric said, 'What do you think I want you to tell me?'

'About Gino's suicide impulses.' She spoke matter-of-factly. 'He has them; everybody knows that. That's why I was brought here by his relatives, to make sure somebody spent every night with him, snuggled right up against him in bed every hour or watching him while he paces around when he can't sleep. He can't be alone at night; he's got to have me to talk to. And I can talk sense to him – you know, restore his perspective at four o'clock in the morning. That's hard to do but I do it.' She smiled. 'See? Do you have somebody to do that for you, doctor? At your four a.m. moments?'

Presently he shook his head no.

'A shame. You need it. Too bad I can't do it for you, too, but one's enough. Anyhow you're not my type. But good luck – maybe someday you'll find someone like me.' Opening the door, she disappeared. He stood alone in the corridor, feeling futile. And, all at once, extremely lonely.

I wonder what became of the analyst's files? he thought mechanically, turning his mind back to his job. No doubt Gino had them destroyed, so as not to fall into 'Star hands.

That's right, he thought. It is about four a.m. when it hits hardest. But there's no one else like you, he thought. So that's that.

'Dr Sweetscent?'

He glanced up. A Secret Service man had approached him. 'Yes.'

'Doctor, there's a woman outside who says she's your wife; she wants to be admitted to the building.'

'It can't be,' Eric said, with fear.

'You want to come with me and see if you can identify her, please?'

Automatically he fell in beside the Secret Service man. Tell her to go away,' he said. No, he thought, that won't do; you don't handle your problems like that, like a child waving a wand. 'I have no doubt it's Kathy,' he said. 'Followed me here after all. In the name of God – what dreadful luck. Did you ever feel this way?' he asked the Secret Service man. 'Did you ever find yourself unable to live with someone you had to live with?'

'Nope,' the Secret Service man said unfeelingly, leading the way.

TEN

His wife stood in a corner of the outside compound which was the White House receiving room, reading a homeopape, the New York Times; she wore a dark coat and a good deal of make-up. Her skin, however, looked pale and her eyes seemed enormous, filled with anguish.

As he entered the compound she glanced up and said, 'I'm reading about you; it seems you operated on Molinari and saved his life. Congratulations.' She smiled at him but it was a bleak, trembling smile. 'Take me somewhere and buy me a cup of coffee; I have a lot to tell you.'

'You've got nothing to tell me,' he said, unable to keep his stunned dismay out of his voice.

'I had a major insight after you left,' Kathy said.

'So did I. It was that we'd done the right thing by splitting up.'

'That's strange, because my insight was just the opposite,' she said.

'I see that. Obviously. You're here. Listen: by law I don't have to live with you. All I'm required to do—'

'You ought to listen to what I have to say,' Kathy said steadily. 'It wouldn't be morally right for you just to walk off; that's too easy.'

He sighed. Useful philosophy by which to achieve one's goals. But nevertheless he was snared. 'Okay,' he agreed. 'I can't do that, just as I couldn't honestly deny you're my wife. So let's have the coffee.' He felt fatalistic. Perhaps it was an attenuated form of his self-destructive instinct. In any case he had given in; taking her arm, he guided her along the passage, past the White House guards, toward the nearest cafeteria. 'You look bad,' he said. 'Your color. And you're too tense.'

'I've had a bad time,' she admitted, 'since you left. I guess I'm really dependent on you.'

'Symbiosis,' he said. 'Unhealthy.'

'It's not that!'

'Sure it is. This proves it. No, I'm not going to go back with you on the old basis.' He felt – at least for the moment — determined; he was prepared to fight it out, here and now. Eyeing her, he said, 'Kathy, you look quite sick.'

'That's because you've been hanging around the Mole; you're getting used to a sick environment. I'm perfectly well, just a little tired.'

But she looked – smaller. As if something in her had dwindled away, as if she had dried up. It was almost – age. Yet not quite. Could their separation have done this much damage? He doubted it. His wife, since he had seen her last, had become frail, and he did not like this; despite his animosity he felt concern.

'You better get a multiphasic,' he said. 'A complete check-up.'

'Christ,' Kathy said, 'I'm okay. I mean, I'll be okay, if you and I can iron out our misunderstanding and—'

'The termination of a relationship,' he said, 'is not a misunderstanding. It's a reorganization of life.' He got his coffee cup and hers, filled both from the dispenser, paid the robant cashier.

When they had seated themselves at a table, Kathy lit a cigarette and said, 'All right, suppose I admit it; without you I'm completely falling apart. Do you care?'

'I care, but that doesn't mean—'

'You'd just let me fade away and perish.'

'I have one sick man who occupies all my time and attention. I can't heal you too.' Especially, he thought, when I don't genuinely want to.

'But all you have to do is—' She sighed, sipped her coffee glumly; her hand trembled, he noticed, in an almost pseudo Parkinsonism. 'Nothing. Just accept me back. Then I'll be well.'

'No,' he said. 'I frankly don't believe it. You're sicker than that; there's some other cause.' I'm not in the medical profession by mistake, he thought. I can spot a thoroughgoing illness pattern when I see it. But he could not diagnose it beyond that. 'I think you know what ails you,' he said bluntly. 'You could tell me if you cared to. This makes me more wary than ever; you're not telling me all that you should, you're not being honest or responsible, and that's a hell of a basis on which to—'

'Okay!' She stared at him. 'I'm sick; I admit it! But let's just say it's my business; you don't have to worry.'

'I'd say,' he said, 'that there's been neurological damage.'

Her head jerked; what color she had now drained from her face.

'I think,' he said suddenly, 'that I'm going to do something I genuinely think may be premature and overly drastic, but I'll try it and see what comes of it. I'm going to have you arrested.'

'Good God why?' Panic stricken, she gazed at him, now speechless; her hands lifted in defense, then fell back.

He rose, walked over to a cafeteria employee. 'Miss,' he said, 'would you have a Secret Service man come to my table?' He pointed to his table.

'Yes sir,' the woman said, blinking but unperturbed. She turned to a busboy who, without further discussion, scampered off into the kitchen.