He felt stupid standing there as she inspected him. Stupid and lonely and little. It was like he was waking up from a nightmare, waking up from having to be brave.
“I’m hungry,” he said. “No one came for me.” His face flushed hot and he felt tears spill from his eyes.
“Oh, poor Spencer,” she said. “I’ll take care of you. You can hide here and live with me and I’ll bring you food. No one will know.”
He nodded, not being able to talk for fear of sobbing. As she took his hand and lead him to the kitchen, he was so relieved. So relieved that he barely noticed one tiny little thing nagging at him. Something about how she had said you’re alive, so surprised. Whatever it was that bothered him, he pushed it away and didn’t think of it again.
That first day in Perfect Girl Julie’s house was a mix of happiness and nervousness and shy awkwardness. He scarfed down the food she gave him, surprised at how little he enjoyed it compared to his fantasies. He hadn’t known hunger could grow to the point of being unable to be satisfied. He feared at any moment that Smiling Jack might burst in the door, a surprise visit trapping him without room to escape. He asked her again and again if Jack ever came by, and again and again she said never. She showed him around the tiny house and let him take a bath, promising to try and find him some clean boys clothes tomorrow. The bath felt good, though he was nervous about her walking in one him and seeing him naked. He’d never had a sleepover at a girls house and it was a lot more awkward than his male friends houses, in lots of ways. Her house wasn’t really that big. Kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom. It had a fireplace for heat, though the temperature in Nowhere Blvd. never seemed to reach extremes in either direction. The backdoor, at least, was real. He tested it. Leading out into a tiny yard with the high wood fence he had hopped. Brilliant green grass that was (he realized much later) entirely plastic.
They talked and played checkers and when night came she announced it was bedtime right away. And no wonder, Spence looked for a light switch but found there was none. No lights either.
Stupid, he thought. If any of these houses had lights, you would have seen them at night from the outside. The only house with light is Jack’s, and even that seems to have only one.
She looked at him as if deciding something, crossing one arm over her chest and putting a finger to her chin in a gesture of thought.
“We should sleep in the same bed, but your clothes are pretty dirty. I guess you could sleep on the couch for tonight.”
He was both surprised and relieved by this statement. Of course he should sleep on the couch, what was she thinking?
That first night he didn’t go to sleep at once. Neither the front nor back door had locks. Finally he settled on booby trapping them, stacking a few loud items in front of each in case someone should come in. He was used to staying up through much of the night, but when he lay down on the couch he was appalled at how luxurious it was, realizing that he was comparing it to the cold hard ground. He slept much more deeply than he intended.
The next day, true to her word, she did find some boy clothes. Sneaking them from the house of Perfect Boy Joe. It was weird, to change clothes after weeks of wearing the same ones. Even though the size was about right, they felt funny and ill fitting somehow.
That second day set the tone for every day after. Spence had in mind, vaguely, a best friends relationship. Or perhaps a big sister litter brother one. But Perfect Girl Julie had in mind very clearly that they would play house. One day she would be the working girl returning home to her househusband, another they would be married captains of a pirate ship. Spencer didn’t exactly like the game, in fact in a lot of ways he got tired of hanging out with just Julie day after day. But when he’d say something about her choice of games she’d argue, and he let her win every argument. She was the one who brought him food, she who could tell Smiling Jack where he was at any time. And though she never threatened him, she never really needed to. Her attitude said enough, she was in charge. They slept in the same bed, which was awkward at first. But he got used to it, even got used to her snuggling up close to him to keep warm.
Sometimes she seemed much older than him, older than she pretended to be. He could tell by the way she bossed him around. Could tell when she let down her act sometimes, the one she put on to live in Smiling Jack’s world. Over the weeks he was very aware, if a little confused, by how he had gone from lone wolf to house pet. He went from being terrified of being caught inside to being terrified to leave the house. He got used to and took for granted the comforts of a bed and regular meals. Something which, while thinking of the poor kids staying in the cabin, he had sworn never to do again.
She told him things about Smiling Jack, things he hadn’t guessed. Jack wanted Nowhere Blvd to be a magical play land. He’d built it, longer ago than anyone knew. He’d built the Hollow Men and Mr. Buttons too. Even Nanny Gurdy, though she’d also heard some of the other Perfects say Nanny started out as a kid Jack brought here once upon a time. Spencer thought about asking again whether Jack had made the Perfects as well, but Julie didn’t mention it and Spencer was afraid of how she might respond.
Jack wasn’t human, she explained, even though he looked like one with the mask. Maybe he’d never been human. He didn’t think about people things, like warmth and eating and sleeping. She could tell because he always had to be reminded. Nanny Gurdy would have to tell him that kids needed to eat and rest, or else he’d forget. Julie told him in a quiet voice about one time when Nanny was busy taking care of a huge batch of kids from the real world, Jack had kept the Perfects playing for days while he watched. He’d shake them awake with screaming anger if one fell asleep. They played until their feet were bruised and their hands bleeding from tiny cuts. Eventually one of them named Perfect Boy Jim had died. Smiling Jack had set upon the corpse in a rage, as if he were just being rude, throwing it around the room like a rag doll.
Spencer listened to all this with a shudder. Realized that this was probably why Jack had never set up a trap at the candy store for him. The thought just hadn’t occurred to Jack that Spencer would get hungry.
One thing she never brought up was what went on in Smiling Jack’s lab. And neither did he, though he wasn’t sure why. He did finally bring up the other important question though.
“And what about a way out? Do you know how to escape from Nowhere Blvd?”
The look she gave him at that was terrible, more angry than he’d ever seen her.
“You can’t leave me!” she almost screamed. “You can’t leave me alone again, you’re mine!”
He shook his head, afraid. “No, I mean we could go together. You could come live with me, I’m sure my parents…” He trailed off, his dreams burnt to ash within the fire of her gaze.
“There is no way out,” she said, her voice cold with repressed rage. “No one leaves Nowhere Blvd.”
She didn’t talk to him for hours after that, and he never brought it up again. The next day they were as happy as ever, playing dolls and dress up.
It wasn’t until they had played house for several weeks that she first kissed him. A quick brush upon his cheek that set his skin to tingling. He didn’t mind it so much at first, but then she started doing it a lot. Though he thought he might like it when he was older (he guessed everyone did) right now it just made him uncomfortable. He tried to tell her in as nice a way as he could, but she wasn’t listening. She would work it into their games. Kiss him on the lips, then stare at him as if looking for something, then kiss him again. She acted like she wanted something from him, but he didn’t know what.