“It’s amazing. Who did this?”
“I did.”
I laughed to myself. Of course he did. “R.J. let you have this space?”
He nodded.
The entire floor plan was open. There were only partial walls dividing the spaces, much like a loft, except for the bathroom, which had a modestly designed door compared to the rest of the barn. In one corner there was a drafting desk with all kinds of drawings of machines on it. There were some framed drawings on the walls above the desk that I recognized almost immediately as copies of da Vinci. I saw the sketches for the water-lifting machines and the Vitruvian man in the circle representing the ideal proportions of a body. Jamie was a thinker, there was no doubt. I realized at that moment that, even though he could be social when he needed to be, he was a little bit of a loner, too . . . like me.
I walked toward the opposite end of the barn, and in the process, tripped over my own damn feet. I stumbled but quickly regained my balance. I looked back and caught Jamie smiling. “Oh, wipe that smile off your face. I’m clumsy, okay?”
“You’re adorable,” he said.
In the center of the opposite wall was the bed. I walked toward it and felt Jamie following me. The lights behind me went off one by one until there was just one tiny desk lamp on, filling the space with a faint warmth like a glowing ember in the darkest night. We shuffled around for a few minutes and then stood on opposite sides of the bed. He untucked his shirt, I took off my coat, and we both kicked off our shoes.
“It’s beautiful in here.”
He came toward me without hesitation and lifted my dress from the bottom. I raised my arms to accommodate him. He never took his eyes off me as he threw the dress onto the chair next to him. “It is now,” he said.
I stood in my panties and bra and didn’t feel a modicum of shyness. I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of his shoulders, letting my hands linger there. His hair had fallen down against the sides of his face. I pushed it back, slowly and sensually. He kissed me while he unbuttoned his jeans, only breaking the kiss to step out of them.
“Do you feel okay?” I asked.
“Yes. Let’s rest for a bit, though.” He pulled the duvet back and slid in wearing only his boxers. “Get in here, Katy,” he said with a lazy smile. Who would say no to this man? I glanced at the old-fashioned clock on the nightstand before slipping in beside him. It was three thirty a.m. We were lying on our sides, facing each other, but our bodies were flush. I fit perfectly into the space of his chest. We dovetailed our legs, and then I felt him kiss the top of my head.
“We can stay like this all day. We have nowhere to be but here. Sleep, angel.” And just like that, I was out.
It was morning twilight when I woke. There was a glow coming through the window shades. Our bodies started moving at the same time—he was waking up, too. We were hyperaware of each other’s presence, of skin against skin, of heat radiating from our bodies. We started moving more intentionally. He rolled me over until we were spooning. He kissed my neck and behind my ear and pressed himself forward, and I felt him hard against me. I moaned so faintly, I thought only I could hear, but he responded to it by pushing against me again, harder and more urgent. He unhooked my bra and it disappeared.
He rolled on top of me and trailed light, slow kisses over my breasts and down to my stomach and down further. I fixated on the muscles in his arms as he held himself above me effortlessly. I felt him kick off his boxers; he was very good at that. He was also very good at making me crazy. He was kissing me through my panties, right there in that perfect spot. I felt myself moving toward him, bucking slightly and encouraging him to continue teasing. He rolled my panties down and those disappeared into the galaxy as well. There were hands and lips and teeth and tongues everywhere, but it was slow. He stopped and hovered over me, gazing into my eyes, but he didn’t say anything.
“Do you like me, Jamie?”
“Yes. A lot.”
“What blood type are you?”
“O positive.” He shook his head and laughed.
“Do you have a savings account?”
“Yes.”
“And health insurance?”
“Uh-huh,” he murmured as he kissed his way down my body and back up again.
“And you’ve had a checkup recently?” When he looked up, I opened my eyes wide so he knew what I was talking about.
“Yes, of course.”
“What’s your last name?”
“No more talking.” And then his lips smashed into mine and I felt him enter me, filling me until my back arched. He moved fluidly, like perfection mixed with just a tinge of pain from the newness. He kissed my lips like they were cherished, priceless jewels, and then he kissed his way to my ear. We breathed heavily, and I moved with him, letting him in deeper and closer. It felt so right. There was something so natural about the way our bodies moved together. There was no awkward clashing of teeth as we kissed, or confused, fumbled movements. It was like we had relinquished control to some power stronger than us. He grabbed both of my hands, interlacing his fingers with mine, and stretched them above my head.
“Open your eyes. I want you to see me when you come.”
I did, and my toes pulsed, shooting waves of radiation up my spine until I felt that buzzing tempo between my ears and in the back of my throat. Gazing into his eyes made it so intense. There was the familiar pounding heartbeat between my legs. He jerked and drove deeper but watched me intently, then he gripped my hip. That’s when we both came undone. It was slow, sweet, sleepy sex, but it was more powerful than anything I’d had before. I thought maybe that’s what making love was supposed to feel like.
My hands grabbed his hair as the last tremors left my body. He finally closed his eyes and collapsed, burrowing his face in my neck. We fell asleep again just like that, with him still inside of me, but I didn’t mind because I didn’t feel alone.
There were a few hours filled with hazy memories of the sun blasting us through the blinds and Jamie getting up to shut them. He brought me water and juice. I heard him talking to Susan on the phone before coming back to bed, and then the next time I woke up I heard him tinkering in the kitchen. I smelled pastries and became convinced that I had died and gone to heaven. I slithered out of bed and searched the space for my undergarments. Do people just walk around naked in heaven? I used his toothbrush covertly and then quickly realized how stupid it was to be sneaky about it after what we had just done.
When I walked back toward the bed, I noticed a sliver of sight line from which I could watch Jamie in the kitchen, about twenty feet away. He was wearing flannel pajama pants. Not fair. When he saw me, I froze. He stalked toward me with an intimidating look on his face. I couldn’t move. I felt myself flush all the way down to my toes. My heart skipped and stuttered. What happened next was a bit of a blur. I could have been dreaming, but I’m pretty sure I watched Jamie stop halfway and slip easily out of his flannel pants. We were standing in the bright light, completely naked and staring at each other. I could hear our shallow breaths and the faint thumping of our hearts. His hair was tousled loosely and the scruff he wore so well was thicker and darker than it had been the day before. An unintentional moan escaped my lips. He stared at me for just a second longer and then took three long, quick strides before lifting me from the back of the legs to straddle him. He pushed me against the wall forcefully.
“You are so beautiful. God, you are so fucking beautiful,” he said with a sigh.
We ravaged each other for hours, moving from space to space. On the bed again, he pulled me up to straddle him and then he pushed my chest back so that my entire body was on display above him. I leaned over and guided him inside of me, filling me to the hilt. He pushed me back again so that I was sitting more upright on top of him.