“It’s fucking awesome. It’s fiction?” she asked.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“You have to keep going.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do with it.”
Beth crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re writing a goddamned book, Kate. Keep going and figure that out later.”
What I wrote was dark and unsettling at times, but that’s how my life had been. The only brightness and warmth I could remember was being in Napa. My memories of the beautiful connection Jamie and I had shared started coming back to me, coursing through my veins like a rushing river. I would daydream about his lips on my neck, so tender and warm, and his strong hands on my waist, making me feel safe. The story was about the pain we sometimes have to endure before the universe rewards us with real love. Through the writing, I was able to let go of the idea that I should be alone. I purged all of the feelings and preconceived notions I’d had going into my adulthood. The characters from the story and the memories of my time with Jamie brought me back into the light. They showed me that love was real and burning inside of me, and that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn’t be able to stifle it.
I avoided Jerry, but I had a feeling he knew what was going on, and I knew that I would be faced with some serious decisions. The Crier wasn’t going to pay me to write love stories, and the idea of writing one more article on the dangers of trans fats made me want to stick pencils in my eyes. On the fifth night, I woke from the fog of writing and realized Jamie hadn’t left me a voice mail in two days. I scurried from my apartment and headed for the mail slots on the first floor.
When the elevator doors opened, Dylan and Ashley came into view. He was standing tall with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. Ashley was pink all the way from her cheeks to her neck and down toward the low cut of her shirt. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. They had done it, was my guess—maybe on the roof, maybe in the doorless laundry room—but I was sure, with every ounce of my being, that they had done it.
“Hey, kids,” I said with an ear-splitting grin.
“What’s up, chica?”
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Yes,” Ashley said so softly I barely heard her.
Dylan gave an awkward, nasal laugh and then cleared his throat. “Where are you headed to?”
“Getting my mail.”
When we reached Ashley’s floor, Dylan turned toward me. “I’m gonna walk her to her door. Hold the elevator and I’ll come with you.”
I held the open-door button and watched as Dylan and Ashley walked hand in hand down the hall. He whispered something in her ear and she smiled with a peaceful and content look on her face. They kissed tenderly for just a few seconds and then he kissed her forehead before she turned and entered her apartment. So sweet.
He ran back toward the elevator, grinning the entire way.
“Well?” I said.
“I’m so fucking in love with her.” He sighed.
“Do you really think it’s love?”
He looked over at me pointedly. “Oh no, you’re not gonna start your cynical shit with me now, are you?”
“No, Dylan, it’s just that sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between love and lust.”
“I don’t care what the difference is. All I know is that I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to be with her every second of the day. Not just in that way, either. I want to talk to her and laugh with her and see the world with her. If that’s not love, then I don’t fucking know anything.”
“Why are you so sure?”
“I have to be. I know she’s amazing and she likes me. I don’t think there’s any room for fear or doubt when it comes to love. I’m willing to take my chances. You should be, too,” he said just as we reached the mail slots.
When I stuck the key in and turned the little lock, the door practically jumped off the hinges. The slot was jammed full of mail. Most of it was junk mail that I managed to catch as it came spilling out. One envelope fell to the floor. Dylan and I looked down simultaneously. The return address was the R. J. Lawson Winery. It was Jamie’s answer.
“Is that the guy?”
“Yes.”
“Are you gonna open it?”
“I don’t want to cry in front of you.”
“You’ve cried in front of me about four hundred times since I’ve known you. You’re the biggest crybaby I know.”
“I’m tough,” I declared.
“You wish. Just open the damn envelope.”
I shoved my armful of mail into Dylan’s hands and reached down for the letter. As I tore the flap from the back, I got a paper cut.
“Goddammit, it’s a sign.” I shoved my bleeding finger into my mouth and sucked. “Cay u beweve it?” I mumbled over my finger.
“For the love of God, Kate, open that letter right now.”
I huffed and then finished opening the envelope. I took the familiar paper out and unfolded it. My eyes first went to where I had underlined Jamie’s words, I am completely in love with you, and then in my big letters the word WHY? Underneath that was Jamie’s response. It was two words. That’s it. Two. Simple. Words.
MARRY ME.
I’ll admit, it wasn’t exactly the proposal every girl fantasizes about, yet somehow it was better. It was totally unexpected but completely fitting for the way things had gone down. He knew I needed it all. I put my hand over my heart, took a step backward, and leaned against the mail slots.
“What? What does it say?” I turned the page toward Dylan and began crying. “Holy shit. I mean, wow!” He scanned my face and then one side of his mouth turned up into a lopsided grin. “You’re crying. Are those happy tears?”
“Yes,” I blubbered.
He pulled me into his chest with his free arm and held me tightly.
“What will you do?”
“I’m gonna go out there and . . .” I hiccupped and took a deep breath. Dylan rubbed my back, soothing me. “I’m going to quit the Crier, go to Napa, finish my book, and say absolutely, one hundred percent yes to Jamie.”
“Attagirl.”
I pulled back and wiped the tears away with the back of my sleeve. “Will you do something for me, Dylan?”
“Anything.”
“Will you take care of Anchovy for me?” I asked, sniffling.
He laughed. “You’re such a drama queen. Of course I’ll take your fish.”
“And will you promise me that you’ll always stay this honest and sweet?”
“I’ll do what I can.”
He walked me to the door of my apartment and handed over the giant stack of mail before leaning down and kissing my cheek. “You deserve to be happy. Keep in touch, okay?”
“I will. No more drugs, right?”
“Nah, I’m done with that. I think I’m gonna go to college with Ashley next year and study music.”
“Good boy,” I said, breaking down into tears again. “These are happy tears.”
He smiled. “I know.”
I closed the door and immediately ran for the phone to call Jerry.
“Hello?” Jerry had six adorable kids, and they all happened to be talking at the same time when I called.
“Jerry!” I yelled over the noise.
“Hey, Kate. Let me go outside, hold on.”
While I waited, I heard at least three different tiny voices yell, “Daddy!”
“What’s up?” he asked.
“I don’t want to bother you while you’re with your kids, but I’m going to need to talk with you soon. I’ve made some decisions.”
“Well, I’m going to put the kids down and then meet Beth at Harvey’s to go over a breaking story. Do you want to meet us there at nine?”
“That would be perfect. I need to tell her as well.”