He frequently stopped what he was doing for long moments, just to look at her, his eyes full of wonder, as if this was something more magical for him than all the exercising of her powers as a sorceress. As if he couldn't believe that she was returning touch for touch and emotion for emotion. When he did that, she had to fight to keep back the tears of sympathy -- the only way she could was to keep a little corner of her mind free to concentrate on the hatred she felt for the women who must have treated him with coldness or indifference, so that this experience was such an unexpected revelation for him.
He stroked her with hands so gentle that she could hardly credit it. He was by no means the best lover she'd ever had; he was, perhaps, a little clumsy, and as he had confessed, not at all practiced -- but his gentleness made up for that, and more.
And besides, she rather figured that she had experience enough for both of them.
When they finally joined together, it was like nothing she'd ever dreamed of, for her heart was as involved in the act as her body.
"Kethry -- " he whispered hoarsely as he started to sit up -- whispering into the darkness, for the candle had long since burned out. She could hear the beginnings of an apology in his voice, and interrupted him.
"Don't you dare," she replied, reaching up for him and pulling him toward her so that his head rested on her shoulder. "Don't you dare spoil this with any of your nonsense about being old!"
"Then I -- didn't make a fool of myself?" he asked shyly. "You don't want me to go?"
"You weren't making a fool of yourself any more than I was," she told him. "If showing how you feel is so very foolish. I don't think it is. And no, please, don't go. I want you to stay. I've had my fill of nights spent alone."
He sighed, and relaxed into her arms. "Kethry -- I care for you, maybe more than I should."
She reached into the darkness, and brushed strands of damp hair from his forehead. "Don't think you're alone in caring more than you should." She let him take that in for a moment, then laughed, softly. "Or did you think I was only after you for your book collection?"
"Gods -- Keth -- " He who was usually so glib was once again at a loss for words, then he joined in her laughter. "No -- I didn't; Tarma, on the other hand -- "
They held each other for another long moment,until he spoke again. "Kethry, what we've got ahead"
" -- makes promises foolish," she interrupted him. "We've already made all the promises either of us dare to for now. Let's just enjoy what times we have, and worry about staying alive, shall we?"
"That's probably wise," he replied, with a reluctance that made her heart race.
He raised himself on his elbow for a moment, and cupped her face in both hands, and kissed her -- kissed her in a way that made his words about not making promises a lie.
And eventually he fell asleep with his head cradled on her shoulder.
Kethry held him, her heart full of song.
Oh Windbom, this is the one, she thought, before she joined him in slumber. He's -- he's like something I've always missed, and never known I missed it until now. But now -- I could never be content with anyone but him.
Not ever again.
Eleven
Kethry sighed, rose from her chair, and went once more to the window. She stood there restlessly, leaning on the sill, with her chin in her hand, watching the street below; a dark silhouette against the oranges and reds of a spectacular sunset.
More than a hint of weariness in that sigh, Jadrek thought sympathetically, rubbing his tired eyes. Last night was yet another late night, with both of us too exhausted at the end of it to do anything other than sleep. Tonight looks to be the same. There's never a moment to spare for simple things like food and sleep, much less anything else. I want to tell her how I feel -- that I -- I love her. But there never seems to be any time, much less the right time.
He studied the way she was holding herself, the sagging shoulders, the way she kept turning her head a little to ease the stiftness he knew was in her neck because he had loosened those muscles for her far too many times of late. His own neck felt as stiff, and he felt echoes of those same aches in his own shoulders. Gods. We're both tired, mentally and physically. She's spent more hours cajoling stubborn, suspicious merchants than I care to think about; I've spent almost the same number of hours dancing around the touchy sensibilities of priests and highborn. Not the way I would have chosen to spend our time, and both of us return from meetings so-completely drained. Conspiracy is for the young. Combining it with a love affair is insanity.
Warrl gave an amused snort from where he lay curled on his chosen spot on the hearth. :You manage well enough, wise one,: the rough voice in Jadrek's mind said.
That is solely, I suspect, because our opportunities have numbered far less than our wishes, Jadrek thought at him, feeding a little more revived just by the casual contact with the kyree's lively mind. I fear that even the supposed wisdom of accumulated years fails to keep my desire from outstripping my capabilities. The only difference between my youth and my age is that now I am not ashamed to admit the fact.
The kyree snorted contemptuously again, but Jadrek ignored him and continued. Furthermore, I shudder to think what Tarma is likely to say about this liaison when she learns of it.
:You know less about her than you think,: was the kyree's enigmatic reply. Suddenly the great beast raised his head, and stared in the direction or the palace. :A message-:
"What?" Jadrek asked aloud, as Kethry turned to look sharply at the lupine creature.
:Tarma sends her regrets, but Char requires her presence, and she seems to think that the tran-dust he intends to abuse this evening might make him talkative. Needless to say, she does not intend to miss her opportunity.: The kyree turned warm and glowing eyes on the Archivist. :She asks me to come to the stable at dark, so that she can return here afterward without worrying about spies on her backtrail. I would suggest, given your earlier plaint about not having any time to yourselves, that you might take advantage of the occasion that has been presented to you ... unless you have other plans.:
Jadrek nearly choked on a laugh at Kethry's indignant blush.
"I think we can find some way of filling in the time," he said aloud, as she glared at both of them. The hour grew late; the candle burned down to a stub, and Kethry replaced it -- and still no sign of Tarma. Jadrek regretted -- more than once -- that his ability to communicate with Warrl was sharply limited by distance.
Kethry suddenly dropped the candle end she was about to discard, and her whole body tensed.
"What?" Jadrek asked, anxiously, wondering if she had sensed some sort of occult probing in their direction.
"It's -- anger," she replied, distantly. "Terrible, terrible anger. I've never felt anything like this in her before."