Exhausted and raw, I returned to the house. Ash was sitting on the couch with Dee’s head in her lap. I went straight to my sister, picked her up, and held her in my lap. Her sobs had quieted, but every so often, she trembled.
“I’m going to go next door,” Matthew announced. He’d been standing near the window. “She’s going to need help.”
I closed my eyes against the fresh wave of anger and damn near crushing disappointment. Ash didn’t say anything. None of us did. All I could think about as the three of us sat there was how lucky I was right then. Because no matter how pissed off I was at Kat, she was alive, and it had nothing to do with the life-and-death connection between us.
I had no idea how much time passed before Matthew returned. Then it was the four of us. At some point, I passed out while holding my sister, and I knew Ash slept, but I didn’t think Matthew did. In the morning, Andrew returned. When Dee woke, she didn’t want to stay here, and I didn’t really want to let her go with Ash and Andrew, but she wanted to be with them. I couldn’t refuse her. I watched the three of them leave and then turned to where Matthew sat on the arm of the couch.
He rested his hands on his knees. “I helped Katy clean up.”
Feeling as if I were a hundred years old, I sat in the recliner. I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t find anything to say.
“She thinks all of this is her fault,” he continued when I said nothing. “I…I don’t know all the details, Daemon, but I think…I think she was trying to prevent this.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face. “I know. I know that, Matthew.”
He drew in a stuttered breath. “She’s hurting.”
Closing my eyes, my hand formed a fist against my forehead. Everybody was hurting. All of us. But I knew Kat’s was a different kind of pain.
“She told me that you two let Blake go,” Matthew said. “And she told me that he claimed the DOD was forcing him to work for them. That they had one of ours, the one who…who changed him, in their custody.”
“That’s what he claims,” I said tiredly, lifting my head. “I don’t know if any of it is true, but a Luxen had to have…changed him. Killing him would’ve…”
“Killed the Luxen.”
I nodded. “That wasn’t the only reason, Matthew. I was just…I was done. Killing a human, even him…I was just done.”
A few moments passed while Matthew stared at the blank TV screen. “He won’t get far if what he claims is true. The DOD will be after him.”
“They’ll be after all of us.”
Matthew shook his head. “It sounded like Vaughn went rogue. From what I gathered from Katy, he was taking her somewhere, and it had nothing to do with the DOD. Blake might’ve been sent here by Husher or other DOD members, but with him on the run, maybe they don’t know about Katy. From what he told her, Vaughn wasn’t telling Husher anything Blake was reporting back to him. Something else was or is going on.”
“I guess we’ll find out.” I sighed. “Is it messed up that I’m not even worried about that right now?” I laughed, because that sounded crazy. It was crazy. “It feels like no matter what we do, everything is already set in motion. Nothing…nothing will change it.”
“Do you really believe that?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure what I believed anymore.
Matthew was quiet for several moments. “You…changed Katy, didn’t you? That was why you were asking all those questions?”
Nodding, I didn’t see any point at the moment to mention Dawson or Bethany, which was a huge freaking wake-up call, because Kat hadn’t been the only one lying.
So had I.
“How did it happen?” he asked.
Leaning back against the cushion, I eyed Matthew. “Halloween night. She was hurt, and so was Dee. I’d been knocked down and I…I tried to heal her so she could get away from Baruck, but something happened. She pulled the Source from both Dee and me, and she killed Baruck.”
His eyes widened slightly. “That wasn’t the first time you healed her.”
I shook my head. “After the attack at the library, I did and…and once more, a minor injury. I wasn’t thinking when I did it. But after she killed Baruck, she was hurt. She was…” My voice trailed off, and I cleared my throat. “She was dying, Matt. I couldn’t let that happen.”
He stared at me. “You love her.”
My mouth opened, and for a moment I couldn’t speak. Then I did in a voice I barely recognized. “I do. I love her.”
“Of course.” His smile was sort of sad. “You wouldn’t have been able to change her if you didn’t.”
Some of the pressure squeezing the hell out of my chest lessened. I loved Kat. I was in love with her, and I was damn lucky she was alive. Despite all the craziness, the arguing and fighting, the lies and the miscommunication, I was in love with her. Was that such a shock? Not really. Truth be told, I fell for her the first time she mouthed off at me. I just hadn’t fully admitted it to myself.
“I know you’re upset with her right now, but it’s obvious that what you feel for her isn’t some fleeting emotion. You love her,” Matthew said quietly as he rose. “You need to talk to her, because right now, you both…you both need each other. More than ever.”
I didn’t say anything as he walked toward the front door. “I’m going to go check on Andrew and Ash.” He reached for the handle and stopped. “Happy New Year, Daemon.”
I’d slept what felt like an eternity before waking Sunday evening. After I took a shower where it felt like I scrubbed off years of emotional crap, I headed downstairs. I didn’t stop. I walked outside and went next door. I didn’t feel her in the house, but I had a feeling I knew where she’d gone.
Snow continued to fall as I walked down the road. The fluffy white stuff covered the scorched marks from where I burned the two vehicles. It was almost like I could pretend none of that happened yesterday.
A warm tingle spread across my neck. I stepped out of the woods and into the snow-covered clearing. She was standing at the edge of the frozen lake. Jesus, she was barely dressed to be out here. Granted, she was definitely something more than human, but would wearing a jacket every once in a while kill her? The moon reflected off the ice, casting silvery light across the still surface. I stopped directly behind her and for a moment just…just reveled in the fact that she was still standing, that the one person outside of my family who meant the world to me was still here. Matthew had been right. We needed each other, especially in this moment, more than ever before.
Kat turned around. Red-rimmed eyes met mine.
“I knew you’d be here.” I cast my gaze to the frozen lake, my jaw working. “It’s where I come when I need to think.”
She drew in a shallow breath. “How’s Dee?”
“She’ll survive,” I said, even though I wished she wouldn’t have to survive this. “We need to talk. Are you busy right now? Not sure if I’m interrupting. Staring at the lake can take a lot of concentration.”
Her brows knit. “I’m not busy.”
I met her stare. “Then come back with me?”
Anxious energy rolled off her, but she nodded. We walked back to my house in silence. I led her into the kitchen. “Hungry? I haven’t eaten all day.”
She watched me cautiously. “Yeah, a little.”
I went to the fridge and grabbed some lunch meat while Kat sat at the table. I made two ham and cheese sandwiches, doubling up on the mayonaise for hers. We ate and cleaned up in silence.
Kat stood. “Daemon, I—”
“Not yet.” I dried my hands and then walked out of the kitchen, knowing Kat was behind me. I started up the steps.
“Why are we going upstairs?”
I glanced over my shoulder, my hand on the mahogany-colored rail. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. It’s just seems…”
It might be weird, but I didn’t know if Dee was going to return tonight, and I didn’t want her walking in on what Kat and I needed to talk about. We could’ve gone to her house, but that was the last place I wanted to be right now.