Kat breathed heavily. “This doesn’t change anything I’ve done. All of this is still my fault.”
Placing my hand on her stomach, I moved so close I was practically attached to her. And I wanted to be in so many different ways. “It’s not all your fault. It’s all of ours. And we’re in this together. We’ll face whatever is waiting for us together.”
“Us?”
I nodded, working on the buttons of her sweater. Some of them were buttoned incorrectly, and I laughed. Only Kat could have trouble putting clothes on correctly and somehow make it sexy. “If there is anything, there is us.”
Kat lifted her shoulders and helped me get her out of the damn thing. Good. She was on board with where this was heading. “And what does ‘us’ really mean?”
“You and me.” I moved down, tugging off her boots. “No one else.”
Her cheeks flushed as she pulled off her socks and lay back down. Jesus, she still had on way too many clothes. “I…I kind of like the sound of that.”
“Kind of?” Bull. Shit. I slipped my hand down her stomach, to the hem of her shirt and underneath. I bit down on the inside of my cheek. The minor burn of pain did nothing. I loved the way her skin felt like satin. “Kind of isn’t good enough.”
“Okay. I do like that.”
“So do I.” I lowered my head, kissing her slowly. “I bet you love that.”
Her lips curved into a smile against mine. “I do.”
There was that damn constriction again, like I’d been punched in the chest, but in a good way. How you could be punched in the chest in a good way was beyond me, but damn, I sort of loved that feeling.
“Tell me everything,” I asked in the tiny space between our mouths.
The tips of her fingers slipped over my cheek, and she seemed to know what I’d meant without having to say the exact words. “I didn’t burn my fingers on the stove. Blake…he was teaching me how to control fire—how to create it.”
Jesus. “The bruises?”
“From him during training,” she whispered as her lashes lowered. “I didn’t think he was doing it on purpose. Not until our last training session before Christmas. I’d been too tired to train, so he suggested we grab something to eat. It didn’t feel right from the beginning, because we went out of the range of the beta quartz.”
I might’ve stopped breathing.
“Dinner was strained, and then he got a text message. Looking back now, I wonder how much of this was set up.” She laughed without any humor. “On the way home, I felt an Arum. He pulled along the side of the road, made me get out…and fight it.”
“What?” I seethed.
She didn’t look up. “I had to fight the Arum, and I did. I killed…I killed it,” she continued, her voice low. “It wasn’t easy.”
It took several moments before I trusted myself to speak. “That’s how you were covered with all those bruises along your back?”
“Yeah. I didn’t tell you the truth, because I knew…I knew you’d go after him, and I wasn’t worried for him. I was worried for you, because at that point I knew something was wrong with him. I knew something was off, just like you’d been saying the whole time.” Kat shuddered, and I pressed my lips to her forehead. “That’s when I began to really suspect he wasn’t what he seemed to be. I didn’t want you to go after him in case he was working with the DOD or something.” Her voice shook. “I should’ve listened to you, Daemon. I should’ve—”
“Shh,” I said, kissing her still-damp cheeks, and then I found her lips. I kissed her softly, changing the reason she trembled in my arms. “I was jealous,” I admitted.
“What?” Her lips brushed mine.
I slipped my thigh between hers. “I was…jealous of how much time you were spending with him. I wasn’t thinking clearly when he first came into the picture. I thought I was going to lose you before…before I had you.”
“No,” she whispered, cupping my cheek. Her hand shook. “It was never like that with him. Maybe…maybe in the beginning I wanted it to be, because I was so confused about how I felt about you, but when he kissed me, I didn’t feel anything. Nothing. It wasn’t anything like when you kiss me.” Her hand slipped into my hair. “We only kissed that one time. He tried…he tried once more, but I stopped him.”
Tension poured into my muscles. “And did he stop?”
“Yes. I swear. He stopped.”
The relief was sweet, and I brought our mouths together once more. In between the kisses that unraveled me and then pieced me back together, I spoke things I never told anyone. How crazy I had felt after hearing Dawson was dead, and the hope I felt learning he had to be alive. I told her how badly I wished my parents were here and how sometimes I hated being the one who had to take care of things.
Everything I felt was in every touch, and even what I didn’t say was in the way my fingers brushed over the fragile bones of her rib cage. And with every breathy, soft moan that escaped her lips, I was snared in her web a little more.
My hands shook as they moved up, and I hoped she didn’t notice. I was blown away, shattered by what she allowed me to do. Pieces of our clothing disappeared. My shirt. Hers. Kat’s hand drifted down my stomach, and I clenched my jaw so hard I was sure I was going to be paying a visit to a dentist soon.
When her fingers found the button on my jeans, I was completely lost to her, but in a way I never, ever expected.
“You have no idea how badly I want this,” I told her, bringing the tips of my fingers down her chest and over her stomach. So beautiful. “I think I’ve actually dreamed about it. Crazy, huh?”
She ran the pads of her fingers down my cheek. I turned into the touch, pressing a kiss against the palm of her hand, and then I found her mouth again. This kiss was different, more intense, and Kat—aw, God—Kat came alive. Hips rocking together, our bodies fitted so tightly there was a good chance I would slip into my true form and knock out the power in the entire state.
Our explorations grew. Her hands were everywhere, and I urged her with words and touches to go further. Her leg curled around my hips—sweet baby Jesus—I was nearly undone.
With my name on her lips and with barely anything separating us, I felt the last of my control slipping. Whitish-red light radiated off me, bathing Kat in the warm glow. There was nowhere that my hands didn’t explore, and the way her body arched into the slightest touch, I was awed and consumed. Kissing her and drawing her deep inside me, I never wanted this to end. She was perfect to me. She was mine, and I wanted her more than I wanted anything in my life.
But I stopped.
Everything that had happened flipped through my head like a photo album I wanted to burn. Both our emotions were all over the place. There had been death, discovery, and so much more. And we were rushing headfirst into not turning back.
I didn’t want our first time to be like this—to be because of what happened.
My God, I was a mushy pansy-ass, but I stopped.
Kat stared up at me, running her hands over my stomach and making it really hard to slam on the brakes. “What?” she asked.
“You…you’re not going to believe me.” Hell, I didn’t believe it. In a couple of seconds, I was really going to regret this. “But I want to do this right.”
She started to smile. “I doubt you could do this wrong.”
Ha. “Yeah, I’m not talking about that. That I will do perfectly, but I want to…” Break out the subscription to the Hallmark Channel and the Lifetime Movie Network. “I want us to have what normal couples have.”
Kat looked like she was going to cry again. I’d probably be crying soon, but for a totally different reason.
I cupped her cheek, exhaling roughly. “And the last thing I want to do is stop, but I want to take you out—go on a date or something.” I sounded like an idiot. “I don’t want what we’re about to do to be overshadowed by everything else.”
I think I might have blushed. Damn me.