Calling on every ounce of self-control I had, I did the unthinkable and lifted off her, easing down on my side. I wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close. I brushed my lips across her temple. “Okay?”
Kat tipped her head back, meeting my stare. Her throat worked on her next words. “I think I might love you.”
Air punched out of my lungs. I held her tight, and I knew right then I would burn down the whole universe for her if I had to. I would do anything to keep her safe. Kill. Heal. Die. Anything. Because she was my everything.
And I wanted to tell her so, but I didn’t want to tempt the universe. Bad things happened to the people I loved.
I kissed her cheek. “Told you.”
Kat stared at me.
I chuckled, and although it didn’t seem possible, I moved closer. “My bet—I won. I told you that you’d tell me you loved me on New Year’s Day.”
Looping her arms around my neck, she shook my head. “No. You lost.”
I frowned. “How do you figure?”
“Look at the time.” She tipped her chin toward the clock on the wall. “It’s past midnight. It’s January second. You lost.”
For several moments I stared at the clock, wishing it into a black hole, but then my gaze found hers and I smiled—really smiled. “No. I didn’t lose. I still won.”
Chapter 28
It was six in the morning, and I sat on Kat’s bed, listening to the shower running in the bathroom and mentally listing all the reasons why it wasn’t a good idea to join her.
I couldn’t come up with one.
But I managed to keep my ass planted on the bed while she got ready for school. We’d spent the entire night together, talking and sleeping in each other’s arms. Despite everything, it had been the best night in a long time. In forever. That didn’t mean I wasn’t thinking about my sister or Adam. That didn’t mean everything was perfect. The moment I let my thoughts wander, they didn’t go to a good place.
I’d checked in with Dee before I headed over to Kat’s house. She wasn’t awake, but I’d talked to Andrew. It hadn’t been an easy call. Not when we talked about how we were going to explain Adam’s death. Publicly for the humans, it would be a car accident. To the nearby Luxen colony and the DOD, if the latter didn’t already know the truth, it would be an Arum attack.
The next couple of days—weeks—were going to be rough.
Kat stepped out of the steamy bathroom, wrapped in a fluffy towel with a robe over the top. She didn’t look surprised to see me even though I hadn’t told her I was sneaking over. Obviously she felt me the moment I got into the house.
She walked over to where I sat. “What are you doing?”
I patted the spot beside me, and she sat on her knees, facing me. “We need to stick close together over the next couple of weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if the DOD shows. We’re safer together.”
“Is that the only reason?”
A lazy grin pulled at my lips as I reached over, tugging lightly on the belt of her robe. “Not the only reason. Probably the smartest, but definitely not the most pressing.”
Kat smiled slightly as she shook her head. Circling an arm around her waist, I tugged her into my lap. I kissed her forehead. “What are you thinking?”
She tucked her face into my neck. “A lot of things. Do…do you think it’s wrong to be happy right now?”
My arms tightened as I frowned down at her. “Well, I wouldn’t send out a mass text message or anything.” I paused, getting what she meant. “And I’m not entirely happy. I don’t think I’ve really come to terms with everything. Adam was…” I trailed off, throat working.
“I liked him,” she whispered. “I don’t expect Dee to ever forgive me, but I want to see her. I need to make sure she’s okay.”
“She’ll forgive you. She needs time.” I kissed her temple. “Dee knew you tried to warn her off. She called me when you told her to leave, and I told her and Adam to stay out of there, but they parked the car down the street and came back. They made that choice, and I know she’d do it again.”
Her voice hoarsened. “There are so many things I wouldn’t do again.”
“I know.” I placed two fingers under her chin, tipping her head back so our eyes met. “We can’t focus on that now. It’s not going to do any good.”
She stretched up, kissing my lips. “I want to see Dee after school.”
“What are you doing for lunch?”
“Other than eating? Nothing.”
“Good. We’re skipping.”
“Going to see Dee, right?”
I grinned at her. “Yeah, but first, there are things I want to do, and we don’t have nearly enough time for that now.”
She arched a brow. “Are you going to try to squeeze in dinner and a movie then?”
“Kitten, your mind is a terrible and dirty place. I was thinking we could go for a stroll or something.”
“Tease,” she murmured and started to stand, but I held her there.
My eyes locked on hers. “Say it.”
“Say what?”
“Tell me what you told me earlier.”
I felt her heart speed up in her chest and she leaned in, brushing her nose across mine, and said, “I love you.”
Slipping my hand behind her head, I pulled her in for a kiss that made me really want to bring her down to the bed and forget all about school and everything else. “That’s all I ever need to hear.”
“Those three words?” she asked.
“Always those three words.”
Sitting in class was the last place I wanted to be on a normal day, but it was nearly killing me to be here. I wanted to be home with Dee. There wasn’t much I could do for her. Words were never good for grief, but I hated that I couldn’t be there for her. I also wanted to be with Kat. She was in the same building as me, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted her close by and not just because, well, I wanted her near me. I figured if the DOD were going to make a move, they’d do so fast, and I wanted to keep an eye on her.
I had no idea what the shape was that the teacher drew on the chalkboard. The only thing I really saw was how amazing Kat had looked in my bed—how amazing she had felt and tasted. I could still feel her without even trying. It was insane. Mind-blowing.
Stretching my legs out, I still couldn’t believe I’d stopped.
Do it the right way? Man, I was going to need a training bra soon.
But stopping had felt right. We’d gone through a lot of crap and emotions. Honestly, I didn’t want our first time to be marred by grief and leftover anger. Might not have felt like those things would’ve clouded our first time, and maybe they wouldn’t have, but I hadn’t wanted to risk it.
When class finally ended, I made it out into the hallway and pulled my cell out of my pocket. I frowned as I stepped around a cluster of classmates. There was a missed text from Kat that had come in around forty minutes ago. Annoyed that I missed it, I clicked on the text.
Mom N accident. Going 2 hospital.
I came to a complete stop, stomach sinking. God, what else was going to happen?
Where did her Mom work last night? I racked my brain for an answer. Winchester. Roads were still slick in many areas and covered in snow in others. Stepping out of the hallway traffic, I quickly called Kat.
It rang and rang. No answer.
Leaving a short message, I fought the urge to rush out of the school and find Kat. The problem was I didn’t know what hospital she would’ve gone to. It could be anywhere between here and Winchester. I’d have to wait until she got back to me.
Patience was a virtue I didn’t believe in.
Before I headed into my next class, I checked in on Dee. She was as expected. Not good. Sitting through history class was a test in true control. When lunch arrived and I still hadn’t heard from Kat after trying her again and sending a text, I couldn’t stay at the school any longer.