I’d changed Kat’s entire life.
And sometimes I could admit how ridiculously selfish I was, because there were moments, many of them, where I knew I wouldn’t change a thing. Made me a shitty person, totally got that, but I tried the whole stay-away-to-protect-her business. Didn’t work.
The only way for us to be in charge of our future, to willingly disappear one day, was to prepare ourselves for our next Mount Weather raid.
We focused on training with the onyx every day that we could. Repeatedly exposing ourselves to the damn stones drained all of us of energy. After every session, Kat and I crashed, and I think we spent more time dozing than we did anything else.
Progress was slowly, painfully being made. Each of us was able to increase our resistance, and by the beginning of May, all of us could withstand the onyx for about fifty seconds before ending up flailing on the ground.
Ash and Dee had started joining us just to watch us basically mutilate ourselves, and today had been the first time Ash tried out some onyx, much to Kat’s amusement. I’d tried to deter Ash, but she didn’t listen. She’d lasted a whole second before shrieking and dropping the stone.
Ash couldn’t understand, after experiencing the pain firsthand, how anything or anyone would be worth subjecting themselves to this, and she was obnoxiously vocal about this, upsetting Dawson. He’d stormed off from the lake and I had followed, talking him down. Dawson had gotten a lot better at handling the rawness of his emotions, but there were still moments when I feared that he was going to run out of the fragile patience and go after Bethany on his own.
Once I was sure Dawson was as settled as he could be, I headed back to the lake. Halfway, I ran into Blake.
He kept a decent distance from me. “How is he?”
Ignoring him, I kept walking. Dawson’s current state was none of his business.
Blake sighed. “Kat is still down by the lake. I didn’t want to leave her—”
Stopping, I wheeled around so fast he looked like he got whiplash from it. He must’ve seen something in my stare, because he quickly backed off with his hands in the air.
“I just didn’t want her to be out here by herself.”
My hands curled into fists. The fact that he acted as if he were Kat’s protector was revolting, but truth was, it had been smart of him to hang around. Being alone, out in the open, wasn’t wise. I watched Blake disappear among the trees before I resumed my trek. I broke free of the last couple of trees and stopped walking. Probably stopped breathing, too.
Everyone had left except Kat. Near the edge of the lake, she lay in the sun, her head resting on the springy grass. Eyes closed and dark hair spread out around her, she was just…just lovely. Walking toward her, I realized she was asleep.
I couldn’t let myself think about the fact that Blake had been creeping nearby while she slept, even if it were necessary. If I did, it would ruin this moment, and dear God, Kat and I had seriously been lacking one-on-one time that didn’t involve us passing out due to exhaustion.
A tired smile tugged at my lips as I stretched out on my side beside her. Propping my head up on my hand, I watched her for a few moments. I thought about what I’d ordered for her over the weekend. It should be here by tonight, and I chuckled as I pictured her expression when she saw it.
If I were a good guy, I’d let her sleep, but I was unable to help myself. I brushed my lips over hers.
Her lashes fluttered and then swept up, revealing soft, unfocused gray eyes. “Hey,” she murmured.
“Hey there, sleeping beauty…”
Kat smiled. “Did you kiss me awake?”
“I did.” I placed my hand on her stomach. “Told you, my lips have mystical powers.”
She laughed. “How long have you been here?”
“Not long.” My eyes searched hers. “I found Blake skulking around the woods. He didn’t want to leave while you were out here.”
Kat rolled her eyes.
“As much as it bothers me, I’m glad he didn’t.” It actually pained me to admit that, like cutting off my own nose or some crap.
“Wow. Pigs are flying.” When I narrowed my eyes, she used her fingers to brush the hair that had fallen over my forehead back. My eyes drifted shut. It was incredibly soothing whenever Kat fooled around with my hair. “How’s Dawson?” she asked.
“Calmed down. How’s Kitten?”
“Sleepy.”
“And?” I smiled.
Kat dragged her fingers along the side of my cheek and then over my jaw. I turned into the caress, kissing the palm of her hand as I unbuttoned the cardigan she was wearing. “Happy you’re here.”
Thrilled to hear that, I spread my hand over the thin tank top she’d worn under the sweater. “And?”
“And glad I didn’t get eaten by a bear or coyote.”
Not expecting that, I arched a brow. “What?”
She grinned. “Apparently, they’re a problem around here.”
I shook my head. “Back to talking about me.”
Kat wasn’t in a talking mood, more of a showing mood, which I was so freaking down for. Her fingers trailed over my bottom lip, and then her hand dropped to my chest. She caught the front of my shirt, pulling my mouth to hers.
I fell into that kiss.
What started off as slow and questioning escalated into a flood of deep, raw sensations that crashed over us in waves. Kissing her. Touching her. It could never be enough. I could get drunk on the way she tasted, high on the breathy sounds she made as my fingers slid over the bare skin of her belly, forget the world because of the way she wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight, and live off how she felt beside me, under me.
I pressed her down, carefully settling my weight over her. The kisses took on a harder, deeper quality. She curled her leg around mine. Her fingers tugged on my hair, and when she moved, my name was a gasp on her lips that nearly broke me.
“I need to stop,” I said, voice rough to my own ears. Kat and I had been on the verge of taking everything to the next level, to that level, for a while now. But moments like this, when we were so close, when I knew she was as ready as I was, I was seconds from doing something stupid. Like getting her out of her clothes in the middle of the woods, and man, that was so not where our first time should take place. Or losing myself completely without us even getting to that part, because damn, I was close. “Like right now.”
Kat threaded her fingers through the hair at the back of my neck. “Yeah, we should.”
Good idea. Great plan. We did need to stop. Like right now.
I kissed her again.
And Kat held me tighter, sliding her hands down my back until they were under my shirt, and that kicked up a whole new riot of sensations. She arched her back, pressing her chest into mine, and I could feel her heart beating at the exact rate as mine. Our breaths were coming fast as my fingers brushed over the delicate lace of her bra.
A shiver of awareness skated over my skin. I stiffened a second before I heard my sister shriek, “Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!”
Kat’s eyes flew open as I lifted my head. Dee stood a few feet away from us, arms folded across her chest, staring at us like she’d just walked in on us engaging in wild animal sex.
Kat yanked her hands out from under my shirt as she whispered, “Oh my God.”
“Dee, you didn’t see anything.” And then I added much lower, “Because you have impeccable timing.”
“You were on…her and your mouths were doing this.” She unfolded her arms and smushed her hands together repeatedly. I frowned at the gestures. That was not how Kat and I looked. “And that’s more than enough I want to see. Like ever.”
Kat pushed at my chest, so I rolled off her. She sat up, twisting around.
“What do you want, Dee?” I asked.
She huffed, pressing her hands on her hips. “Well, I don’t want anything from you. I wanted to talk to Katy.”
Kat stiffened with tangible surprise. “You do?”