I shook my head. "To ask a favour of a god, you don't summon. You go into Their territory." I wasn't looking forward to that: men were weak enough in the Fifth World, but in a god's land… We would be as helpless as Xochiquetzal was on earth. Perhaps even more so.
"Into Her territory," Teomitl repeated. "Lake Texcoco?"
"No. Into Tlalocan." The Blessed Land of the Drowned, where Chalchiutlicue had Her gardens.
It was also Tlaloc's country; but I was hoping that the god would be too busy with His child to pay much attention to us.
Neutemoc snorted. "And you know how to get there?"
Tlalocan, as I had seen, was closed to me. But the way might yet be opened for us, by someone who had the Jade Skirt's favour.
"I know a priest," I said. Half a lie. Eliztac hadn't been helpful last time I'd seen him. But he was the only priest of Chalchiutlicue I'd had dealings with. I tried, resolutely, not to think of Huei. Surely, if I could appeal to Huei…
But it wasn't my place. "You and I can go to see him," I went on.
Yaotl nodded. "Teomitl and I will stay here, to inform Mistress Ceyaxochitl when she gets back."
I visited, briefly, Ceyaxochitl's storehouse: a low, pillared room with row upon row of magical objects – everything Guardians had thought might be useful in the event of an emergency. At the back was a box made of glued human bones; and inside I found what I was looking for: ten obsidian knives pulsing with the magic of Mictlan. I withdrew three from the box, and put them into the sheaths at my belt, to replace those I had lost.
Under the thatch awning of the courtyard, I packed ceramic bowls and polished maguey thorns into a new bag. I was almost finished when footsteps echoed under the awning.
"Acatl-tzin?" Teomitl's voice asked.
I raised my eyes, briefly, knowing why he was here. "Yes?"
"I–" He looked at me, biting his lips. "Let me come with you and Neutemoc."
"It's too dangerous. I've already put you in danger too much as it is."
Teomitl shook his head, half-exasperated. "I won't be coddled. I'm a warrior, not some old-woman priest…" He stopped, his face hardening. "I'm sorry."
At least he had the honesty to voice the warriors' prejudice aloud. "You're heir-apparent to the Mexica Empire."
"My brother isn't dead," Teomitl said, fiercely. "Tizoc is still Master of the House of Darts."
"He's very ill," I said. "Lord Death waits for him. And when that moment comes–"
"It hasn't come." He held himself straight, impatiently. "I have to prove myself. You'd deny me that?"
Ceyaxochitl had asked me the same question. I made him the same answer. "I'm not your testing ground," I said.
"I'm not asking you to be," he snapped. "Just to let me have my chance. You heard Mahuizoh. 'An unbloodied pup'. That will be all they think of me, at the Imperial Court. By your doing."
The accusation, as unfair as it was, didn't ring quite true in his mouth. "It's not the Court you're trying to impress," I said. "Nor was it the Court you thought of when you followed Eleuia."
Teomitl said nothing. He watched me, one hand on his macuahitl sword. "No," he said. "But it doesn't concern you."
"Doesn't it?" I finished packing my bag, and laid it aside.
He met my gaze squarely. "Let me come. Or I'll be as nothing."
"To whom?" I asked.
"To her," he snapped, throwing the pronoun into the air like an offering to a god. "Who else?"
I didn't move. I simply asked, "Her?"
"Huitzilxochtin," Teomitl said. "My mother." When I still didn't speak, he said, "She was strong and she fought to the end, but it was all for nothing. She died bearing me. And I–" His voice was bitter. "I am nothing. I have no great battles behind me, nor feats of arms."
"Battle isn't the only way to prove yourself," I said, finally. But in my mind were my parents' voices, whispering about how wrong I was, how there was no glory, no honour outside the battlefield. About how I'd failed. "And where we're going… That's no battlefield."
Teomitl smiled. "There are battles everywhere," he said. "You just have to know where to look."
I'd forgotten the ease with which he could take control of a conversation. "That doesn't change anything. I can't risk your life."
"It's not yours to risk," Teomitl said. He didn't sound as angry as he'd been. Just thoughtful. "It's mine, and I do what I want with it."
"I–" I said.
"Is it so hard? You let me come, when you thought I was a calmecac student. Nothing has changed. We're still the same."
Why couldn't he see that everything had changed? "I can't be your testing ground," I repeated. I couldn't face the repercussions of taking him with us. What if Axayacatl-tzin died tonight, and Tizoc-tzin became Revered Speaker? I'd have endangered the life of the heir-apparent.
Teomitl watched me for a while, his brown eyes shrewd. Behind him, in the courtyard of the Duality House, the rain fell in a steady patter – the Storm Lord's magic slowly, steadily seeping into the earth. "Why? It's a simple thing."
He was wrong. Things were never that simple. "I can't. Let someone else…"
I met his eyes – my apprentice Payaxin's eyes, eager to do what was right – and I realised what I was saying. Let someone else shoulder this burden. Let me go on as if nothing had changed. It was fear that made me say that: fear and nothing else. But I was no coward. No warrior – there were some things for which I would never find the courage – but no coward.
"Very well," I said, finally. "You can come."
We stopped to see Mihmatini briefly. She'd followed Neutemoc's household into one of the Duality House's vast rooms. Reed mats were spread on the floor; both Mazatl and Ollin were already asleep. Mihmatini sat cross-legged against the wall. Over her was a fresco depicting the Duality's Heaven. Under the gaze of the fused lovers, a tree grew out of the waters, the shadowy souls of babies clinging to its trunk as if to their mothers' breasts. Dead babies: the Duality's Heaven was the only place that would re ceive the souls of unweaned children, preserving them until they could be reborn.
Dead babies. I was reminded, uneasily, of the bones in Ceyaxochitl's possession, and of the god-child we were seeking.
Mihmatini, oblivious to my thoughts, smiled tiredly at me. I couldn't help noticing, though, that her brightest smile was reserved for Teomitl, who had followed us into the room.
Neutemoc stopped to stroke Ollin's forehead: the baby's face shifted, and settled into a pleased smile. Neutemoc's face, a careful mask, cracked. He knelt by his son's cradle, and watched him sleep, his lips moving to whisper a mournful lullaby.
Sweat had stained Mihmatini's cotton shirt, and the dark circles under her eyes were, if anything, more accented.
"Get some sleep," I said. "Don't worry."
"I am worrying," Mihmatini said, tartly. "You'd have to be a fool not to, with that rain."
"It's dangerous," Teomitl said.
"You can feel it?" I asked Mihmatini.
She shook her head. "I'm not sensitive enough. Yaotl told me."
"Yaotl," I said, not quite over my rancour yet, "interferes with what doesn't concern him."