18. I turn the dark corner, I stand outside the door, the door to our room, and I hear her voice I want to love you like I used to love you I SMELL THE HOSPITAL, I SMELL THE LABORATORY A long, long time ago, she says, there was a poor little girl who had no father or mother I want to love you like I loved you before THE WHITE COATS AND THE WHITE MASKS Everything was dead and there was no one left in the whole of Japan I want to love you without suspicion THE RUBBER GLOVES AND THE RUBBER SHOES And since there was no one left in the whole of Japan, the little girl decided to go up to heaven to where the moon shone down without jealousy THEIR MEDICINES AND THEIR DRUGS But when the little girl got to the moon, it was just a lump of rotten wood I want to love you without the fear of losing you THEIR PILLS AND THEIR INJECTIONS So then the little girl went to the sun, but when she got there it was just a withered-up sunflower the fear of hurting you I SUBMIT TO THEIR EXAMINATIONS And when she got to the stars, they were just little white lice stuck on a piece of dirty old black cloth like I used to love you I SUBMIT TO THEIR TESTS So the little girl went back to Japan, but Japan was just an overturned pot of nothing like I loved you before I SUBMIT TO THEIR EXPERIMENTS The little girl was completely alone now, and so she sat down and cried but most of all, I want you to love me I SUBMIT TO THEIR TRIALS She’s sitting there still, all alone, still crying I want you to love me IN ROWS, IN CAGES, A DOG
19. I turn another dark corner, I climb another set of stairs, I walk along another corridor, I knock on another door have you ever seen nature inside-out, have you ever seen nature upside-down, have you ever seen double-nature I AM NOT DISTRACTED I told you they would lie to you, didn’t I, says Comrade X., and here is the proof of my words when the sun stands high and still at noon, as though the whole world is on fire, how it makes you hold your breath, as though the world was dead I AM NOT DELIRIOUS Comrade X. hands me a document, a document in English, a document stamped ‘CONFIDENTIAL’ then those frightful voices come, they speak to me, when nature is out I AM NOT POSSESSED As you can see from this, says Comrade X., the Americans have lied to you; a First Lieutenant Paul E. J. Parker, medical officer, was assigned to the Tokyo area between June 1946 and June 1947 to assist in various health-control activities the world so dark that you have to feel your way around it with your hands I AM NOT PREOCCUPIED Comrade X. says, This is undoubtedly the ‘Lieutenant Parker’ who was assigned to a typhus control team in Ōji Ward in March 1947 you think it is coming apart, like a spider’s web, dissolving and disintegrating in your fingers I HAVE NO MEMORIES And as you can further see from this, says Comrade X., while there is no record of a ‘Lieutenant Hornet’, there are records of a Captain J. Hartnett who was similarly engaged in public health work in Tokyo between June 1946 and April 1947 when something is, and yet isn’t, when something is there, yet nothing is there I HAVE NO VISIONS I say, They lied to me, to us everything so dark, and yet there’s still this redness, this redness from the west, the glow from a distant furnace, a gigantic underground oven I AM NOT MAD Comrade X. smiles and Comrade X. says, Are you really so surprised, Detective. I told you they would lie. The Americans always lie it’s all in the air, have you noticed the patterns in the air, in the clouds, in the fog, in the mist, and in the smoke I HAVE EATEN MY CORN, MY AMERICAN CORN, AND I AM NORMAL I say, I don’t know what to do if we could only read those patterns, if one could only read the air, then what things we would know, what truths I HAVE TAKEN MY PILLS, MY AMERICAN PILLS, AND I AM RATIONAL I will tell you, says Comrade X., I will help you, if you let me if we could read the air, then we would know the truth I AM NORMAL, RATIONAL AND SANE
20. I say, I was taking a big risk telling you the things I did, showing you the documents I did. A big risk for nothing! Nothing in your newspaper, nothing about the China connection, nothing about the GHQ connection, nothing about Parker and Hornet. So it looks like I took a big risk just for nothing your mother’s new husband, your never-my-new father WE’VE SEEN YOU BEFORE Not nothing, says the journalist now, you took a risk, I know, but I paid you he likes Americans, he entertains Americans WE’VE SEEN YOU PISSING I say, Not enough, not enough for all the risks I’ve taken. And now I don’t know why I bothered, why I took all those risks, you weren’t even listening to me, you didn’t even write the story with your father’s money, in your father’s house PISSING IN THE STREET I wrote the story, says the journalist, I gave it to my editor and he read it and he said he liked it, said he liked it very much on the floors he walked, in the chairs he sat PISSING DOWN A WALL I ask, so where is it, this story of yours, this story your editor liked so very much, he liked so very much he didn’t publish, so very much they didn’t print, where is it then in the room he lay, in the room they lay PISSING LIKE A DOG I don’t know, says the journalist your father and your mother IF YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOUR BLADDER I stand up and I say, Well, you better find out. Or there’ll be no more help, no more stories from me Americans lie, everybody lies WHAT CHANCE YOUR MIND
21. You are distracted, Detective, says the doctor, you are distracted and you are delirious you have not been listening, Detective IN THE FAMILY ALBUMS, IN THE HISTORY BOOKS I ask, What is to be done. What should I do you have not been following instructions THE EMPEROR SAYS, I STAND BY MY PEOPLE You are delirious and you are possessed, possessed and preoccupied, possessed by memories and preoccupied with visions you have not been following orders I AM EVER READY TO SHARE IN THEIR JOYS AND SORROWS What is to be done. What should I do you have been making connections, Detective COURAGEOUS PINE, ENDURING THE SNOW Memories of things that never happened, visions of things that never will connections where there are no connections to be made THE TIES BETWEEN ME AND MY PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FORMED BY MUTUAL TRUST AND AFFECTION What is to be done. What should I do you have been making links, Detective THEY DO NOT DEPEND UPON MERE LEGENDS OR MYTHS I’m sorry to say, says the doctor now, but in a word, Detective, you are mad links where there are no links to be made THAT IS PILING UP, COLOUR UNCHANGING What is to be done. What should I do you have been imagining things, Detective NOR ARE THEY PREDICATED ON THE FALSE CONCEPTION THAT THE EMPEROR IS AMANIFEST DEITY I will tell you, says the good doctor, and I will help you, if you will let me hearing things, seeing things THAT THE JAPANESE ARE SUPERIOR TO OTHER RACES AND DESTINED TO RULE THE WORLD I ask, What is to be done. What should I do things that are simply not there LET THE PEOPLE BE LIKE THIS, SAYS THE EMPEROR Eat more corn, says the doctor, American corn and take these pills, these American pills you are suspended from duty, Detective, you are off the case IN THE HISTORY BOOKS, IN THE FAMILY ALBUMS